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Posted by itsghardy on 04 June 2013 - 10:56 PM
Posted by SCP on 08 September 2014 - 05:50 PM
Excuse me, before I start typing I need to scrape something off the bottom of my shoe that has been bothering me all day. Just one second..... OK, turns out it wasn't much. It was just a pirate eye patch. Some Bucs fan must have tossed it out the window of his Cube after the loss on Sunday. It must have stuck to the sole of my shoe whilst I was performing the happy dance after my Panthers crammed a big fat piece of suck it pie up those pirate booties.
24 hour rule has come and gone. Enjoy the win but file it away. Now that we escaped that 79 point throttling the ass pirates were supposed to hand us, it's time to move on to the next team on our schedule. This team hales from the one place in America that is nastier than a Pilates class in Metarie, LA filled with female Steeler fans. Detroit. De-twah. Rock City. A place so depressing and disconnected from society that one of the major auto makers actually started a marketing program built around their product being "Imported from Detroit". Michigan, the only state in the union that saw a decrease in population according to the last census. This once proud manufacturing city has crumbled under corrupt politics. Sandwiched between Toledo, the skidmark of northwest Ohio, and Windsor, the herpie of southwest Ontario, Detroit proudly pumps out Ford Fusion's by the train car full. Union workers are making $800/hour to slap a Ford emblem on the bumper making a $3000 car retail for $40,000. Then it’s off to the Windsor Ballet (google that poo) to stack a roll of quarters on stage and watch the magic happen.
Meanwhile driving through North and South Carolina, I’m stuck behind some unemployed 400lb Michigan transplant driving his 1984 Aerostar full of kids with ketchup stained KISS t-shirts. How do I know they have stains on their shirts? Because once the exhaust clears I can get a great view of every passenger through the 8 inch rust holes in the front and rear quarter panels of the mini-van. Littered with Red Wings stickers and a “My kid can beat up your Honor Student” bumper sticker, these vehicles cause more pollution than a factory in Beijing China . You can normally spot these vans in the drive-thru at any fast food joint. They are the ones who have to open the front door to place an order and then again to receive the order because the window hasn't rolled down since Bruce Springsteen was relevant. Honk if you see one and make sure to welcome them to the south. They might complain about the heat and humidity but they had the best "fire the GM" campaign when they held the Millen-Man March to fire Matt Millen. For that they deserve a little respect.
As for the game this week, well, who knows what to expect. It looks like we have the makings of a serviceable offensive line. Our wide receivers are good enough to get the job done. And by gawd we are getting Cam back after a great performance by Dmotherf**kinA. Our defense had a pretty good game but Luke is not satisfied. Neither is Riverboat. He is so intense his transition lenses still haven’t turned clear even after he enters a dark film room. Nippleshorts is busy doing work clearing cap space for the future. This team means business. Not business as usual, but a new kind of business. An ass kicking business. The Lions will roll into town with a beast at WR, a top tier QB, and a defensive lineman that has the potential to be one of the best in the game. You know what? None of that poo matters. Because this is a new breed of Panther football. BofA Stadium is going to be rocking. It’s time to send a message to the NFL by putting our foot on the throats of every team we face. Suck it Detroit.
Posted by SCP on 16 September 2014 - 12:34 PM
It’s a little known fact that IDIOT is actually an acronym used to describe Pittsburgh fans. I generally like to stay away from teachable moments but since we have the lowest form of human coming to our fine facility this Sunday night, I guess I will enlighten those who may not know what the acronym means. The founding fathers came up with this acronym and decided there was no better name for the people from that little slice of crap tucked at the confluence of the Alleghany and Monongahela rivers.
I – I as in “I’m a Steeler fan and I can’t find Pittsburgh on a map of the United States”. As in find me a Steeler fan that is not a piece of fuggin sh*t liar that has been to Pittsburgh. (Hint: Don’t waste your time) No matter their age, they are all blue-collar steel workers that toiled in the heat of a steel mill 7 days a week. Meanwhile they drive around Charlotte in a PT Cruiser with the fake wood paneling and use a counterfeit handicap sticker to get preferred parking at the Western Sizzler on all you can eat fried okra night. All I can say is thank god the Steelers colors include bright yellow. It helps to have these water buffalo cloaked in yellow so they can stand out like a fart in church. The last thing you need is to be blindsided by a herd of Steeler fans when Costco rolls out the free sample carts in the morning.
D – D as in “Does America grasp how fugging stupid Steelers fans are? It has to be a ruse”. I googled that poo and Steeler fans are paying anywhere from $8.99 to $24.99 for a yellow, screen printed towel. A towel! That is their rallying symbol. Grown fugging adults spinning a yellow towel is somehow supposed to be tradition and bad ass? I call it the best pyramid scheme to ever hit a moron in the face. Myron Cope is the king of the idiots for birthing this over glorified sh*t rag. Has anybody ever taken a moment to understand just how fugging stupid this is? We are dealing with a fan base whose piece de resistance is a Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupon so they can buy yellow terry cloth at a discount.
I – I as in “I swear to god, Pittsburgh must have had a population of 270 million people prior to 1975”. Every son of a bitch that I meet wearing that mustard stained garbage claims to be from Pittsburgh. Thanks to the 1980’s and the deindustrialization of America, I have to see overweight moms in Harris Teeter towing around 9 year old daughters in Rapelisberger jerseys. Pushing around a cart over flowing with pickled bologna and pork rinds to quench a never ending thirst for salty processed meat by-product, they claim their love for a two time rapist. When I see this, I have two questions: 1. How in God’s name does she wipe her own ass? And 2. What kind of example is she setting for the little crumb snatcher daughter of hers? I saw a homeless guy taking a dump in an old phone booth up in NYC about a month ago. That guy has ten times the class of every Steeler “transplant” I have met.
O – O as in “Oh my god what is that smell?” Yes, when the Steelers come to town you can hear this question asked in every NFL city. It’s a pungent mix of sweaty armpit and poultry farm. Science has not yet determined if this odor emanates from the mouth when those fat losers yell “We got 6!” or if it comes from the sweat glands. The one common denominator is that the smell accompanies both the “transplants” and the band wagon Steeler fans from places like Maiden, NC. It is a question that may never be answered.
T – As in “Trashiest fan base in the world” Why did these assholes decide to leave Pittsburgh and ruin America with their foul smells and ugly features? Why do assholes FROM North Carolina claim diehard fan status for a team that resides 700 miles away in some western PA crap hole? I mean these idiots take over our bars and proclaim to the world just how awesome Pittsburgh is, yet not one of these sons of bitches will pack up the El Camino with their ex-wife and high school drop-out kids and move back to that dump. It’s an interesting study in human nature. You have individuals that would prefer to trash the Panthers, a team that does a lot for the city in which these Steeler fans reside. A city far superior to the city the Steelers reside in. They go to our local bars or come to BofA and proceed to piss and sh*t on everything about the local team in the name of some goofy yellow towel. These mullet wearing jack wagons call into our radio shows and bloviate about how the Panthers are inferior. They talk as if we should hang on their every last word because they picked to follow a team that has won 6 super bowls. Real accomplishment there buddy. Ooo, you jumped on a bandwagon, fugging phenomenal. You know these same assclowns have a Nickleback box-set in their CD tower at home. All this asshole culture for what? They can’t go to a game in Pittsburgh because they can’t depend on their shitty car to make it north of the NC state line without blowing a gasket. So they sit their miserable fat asses here in Charlotte in their faded out Steeler t-shirts making my local restaurants and bars smell like potted meat. Congrats on being low life scum.
So there you have the origin of the acronym IDIOT. As for the game this Sunday, I am starting to get a little more confidence in my Panthers. The o-line seems to be coming together in pass-pro and if they can gel and open up some running lanes, we should be able to control the clock and take it to this sub-par Pittsburgh defense. The Steelers offense has some weapons but even without Hardy, I’m thinking our front 4 can pressure the Rapelisberger and get him off his rocker. I hope Panther Nation shows up loud and proud on Sunday night. Don’t take poop from any Steeler fan. This is our town. BofA is our house. The Panthers are the superior team.
Panthers – 27
Steelers - 14
Posted by SCP on 27 August 2014 - 10:48 AM
Speaking of Dale Mabry Dr, our Panthers are heading south on a little trip to play the all-of-the-sudden unbeatable ass-pirates of Tampa Bay. And what’s worse than some lukewarm Golden Coral all-you-can-eat meatloaf coated in generic ketchup? Bucs fans. Grown men who wear fake beards and eye patches and gleefully chant “It’s a Bucs Life” while air brushing swashbuckling scars on each other’s asses to make their costumes more authentic. “Arrrrggggh! Don’t forget to make my beard look scraggly!” they squeal as they share a box of Franzia wine and paint each others faces. Well yo freaking ho, its 2014 and some Bluegreen Resort time share salesman and a roof cleaning expert dressing up as pirates on Sundays is neither intimidating nor tough. No matter how much you guys spend at the Dollar Store on eye patches and feather boas, your pirate shtick is more pansy than the Nissan Cube you rolled up to the tailgate in. I’m willing to bet that mini-turkey and humus sandwiches with the crust cut off is tailgate staple for most of the Jack Sparrow wanna-be’s. But hey, a new day has dawned in Tampa. The rednecks form Hillsborough and Polk counties have been rejuvenated and emboldened. They are waking up in their 1972 Shasta 1400 Campers and shaking off the rust from a 4 year hangover of Budweiser and horrible Bucs football. So Buc nation, the bandwagon cavalry is on the way to save the manhood of pirate clad Bucs fans.
As for the game on Sunday, we have all heard the storylines ad nauseam. Our o-line stinks. We have no receivers. We lost our midget cornerback. Jerry charges too much for bar-b-que and our huge scoreboards show too many ads. At least they put in escalators to help all the whining fat asses up to the 300 level and they don’t reverse them until after halftime so the wine and cheese assholes are at least stuck at the game until the 3rd quarter. I will continue to use the ramps (not really) and leave the 500 level escalators for the old people and the 425lb loser in the Roethlisberger jersey. On the flipside the Bucs are full of supermen with the greatest coach on earth. Well I read between the lines and see an under achieving coach leaning on a starting QB who in a 15 month span has played for the Arizona Cardinals, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders, Miami Dolphins, Carolina Panthers, Hartford Colonials, San Francisco 49ers and Chicago Bears. When under center, your back-up QB looks like an albino giraffe drinking water (google that poo if you need to see what that looks like). Your defense might be tough with Geraldine and the back end but we have the real Superman under center and a rookie guard that is going to truck Lavonte David so hard that Chris Simms spleen is going to have to seek counseling. My prediction is that our defensive front 7 will whip that Tampa o-line so bad that they will sit down to pee the rest of the season. It will be a defensive struggle but in the end there will be a caravan of Bucs fans with pirate face paint running down their collective faces, leaving Ray-J stadium in their PT Cruisers, Nissan Cubes, Scion xBs, and Kia Sedonas. The Lovie Era will begin like the Schianno Era ended.
Posted by thomas96 on 16 August 2014 - 10:42 AM
100 pies required.
I would quote his post saying that, but I don't know how. It's in the 3rd page of the "Ice bucket challenges" thread.
Posted by SCP on 04 December 2013 - 11:44 AM
After a warm-up against the Bucs we head down to the worlds largest crapper to face a Vic.din thief, his disgustingly fat-slob sidekick, and their pet mole. The game has been flexed to a primetime matchup which will give Taint fans an extra few hours to crawl out of the swamp and spend their FEMA checks on liquor and meth. Sean Payton will not have to get up early on Sunday so he can spend Saturday night in the French Quarter popping pain pills and showing his pucker face to the thousands of Spaniard transvestites dancing around in face paint and jean shorts. They will dress up like mimes and clowns and carry their stupid ass umbrellas and chant their incoherent Who Dat drivel which was conveniently stolen from another shithole town upriver in Ohio. The town is full of fake wanna-be Marie Laveau’s pretending to cast voodoo spells in their voodoo stores which are basically Wings filled with shittier merchandise. It makes me smile to know that 90% of the poop and piss in the Midwest flows south down the Ol’ Miss through the center of New Orleans before heading out to the Gulf. As much as I travel in the Midwest that means I have directly contributed approximately 8,000 lbs of corn filled human feces into the New Orleans public water system over the last 9-10 years.
It’s almost embarrassing but New Orleans is home to only one Fortune 500 company. In 2012, Time & Leisure magazine named New Orleans the #2 "America's Dirtiest City", down from a #1 "Dirtiest" status of the previous year. So apparently one or two locals decided to poop inside instead of directly on the street. Progress! And if you want to get murdered, plan a trip to New Orleans.
Meanwhile, the football team that was destined to move to San Antonio before Katrina hit has started to win a few games and all of a sudden you’ve got idiots with fleur de-lis hats popping up around every corner. Last year they were claiming that the Taints were going to hoist the Lombardi on their home turf and shove it up Gordells ass. Well, after we swept that ass that poo wasn’t going to happen. We pressured Brees with Sione fugging Fua. Now we’ve got real men manning the middle. It’s going to be an epic battle in the Rape Dome this Sunday night. But that fat little center, De La Puente, has got some beasts coming to town, and they are bringing hell with them. Cam is going to run all over that weak ass defense and will pass right over the top. Meanwhile our d-line is going to knock that mole/birth-mark thing off Drew’s face and into that cesspool of a pond, Lake Pontchartrain. There it will attach itself to one of my turds and slowly sink to its final resting place, just like the Saints season.
Posted by Mark S on 12 August 2014 - 03:39 PM
-My mom works at BOA.
-This is a long story, but I hope you'll like it.
I was asleep as I heard the garage open at 1:30 pm. The first thing I did was check my phone, as I found 8 missed calls by mom. Oh no. My mom called my name as I suspected she wanted me to do some chores. She came upstairs and said "Hey Mark, do you want to meet Kony Ealy?" I said "WHAT?", as my mom knew little to nothing about the Panthers, other than my die-hard fandom for them, let alone a rookie on the team. I asked "Are you serious?! How?". She said " He's coming to the bank at 2:00, if you want to come, go get ready". I jumped out of bed and hugged my mom from behind. The fact that she took time out of her lunch to come and pick me up, just made me feel so great.
Of course, I was in a state of panic. "What should I bring? What should I wear? I ran to the computer room to try and find a decent pic of him to print out, but no luck. With a slow computer, I printed out a logo of the Panthers, got dressed, and we were on our way.
We arrived at the bank and I was greeted by my mom's coworkers. They asked me if I was here to meet Kony. I said "Yes!" They basically knew nothing about him, just that he was a rookie and hasn't played a game yet. They knew what car he was coming in, either a Dodge Charger or a Cadillac Escalade. So here we we, staring out the windows and door, waiting for the car to show up. It's 15 past 2:00 and he hasn't showed up yet, which I imagine was reasonable as he is new to Charlotte.
All of a sudden, we see a purple Dodge Charger roll into the parking lot. Everyone is like, oh yeah thats him. The bank is empty, except for the workers. Mr. Ealy walks in and the workers introduce themselves to him, Mr. Ealy walks into my mom's office. A few minutes pass and my mom calls me into the office. I think to myself 'This is it! I finally get to meet him!'
I walk myself into her office and introduce myself. I stutter my way through words and my mom asks him if I can take a picture with him. We all take pictures, and every one of us are dwarves to him. I say "Okay Mr. Ealy, thank you so much! I'll leave you guys to continue your business." He says "Oh no man, don't worry about it, come have a seat with us." "Oh. My. God." is what went through my head. I couldn't believe it, hear I am, hearing a little about his personal life, "How great is this!" I thought to myself.
I took a seat next to him. It was only my mother, the manager, and I in the room, the occasional coworker would come in and greet him and ask him for a picture. As they were talking about what he came in for (confidential), I asked him how he was liking the Panthers so far and replied "I love it. I love the community. I love my team. I love the lifestyle" and I nodded my head with a huge grin on my face as I was currently engaging in normal conversation with Kony Ealy! He really liked it down here from the looks of it. The conversation went on, and some of the highlights were of him saying that: He can't swim, he doesn't like heights, what he plans to do with his life.
He talked about the change from college to the pros. How Greg (Hardy), Charles (Johnson) and especially TD (Thomas Davis) really helped him with the transition and that he is very grateful for them. He called the all really good guys and he was happy to be on the team. My mom asked a little about his personal life, like what he studied in college, what he did outside of football. He mentioned a couple businesses he managed and I thought it was pretty cool. My mom asked about his family and he mentioned his big family, including his sister, as he looked to me and said I probably already knew about her. By this point, he could tell i was a huge fan and knew a lot about him. I nodded my head and told him it is really a great story of how got here, we told him our prayers with her sister. He told us about she was his motivation, other than God, and about how any time he was in distress, he though of her and pushed through it. We were really heartfelt. My mom asked if he had any family down here in NC and he said "Yes, my football teammates". That warmed my heart a little as it was good to hear he was already comfortable with the team and how they have welcomed him enough because he doesn't have any immediate family down here.
Everything he came in for was done, and it was time for him to go. I pulled out my paper of the logo and he signed it. I said I was going to post my picture on instagram, and he asked me what my username is so he could follow me back. Boy, was I excited. I sent him the picture and posted it on Instagram, and he did the honors of liking it and following me. He also mentioned if he could fight one of his teammates for tickets to the next game, they would go to me. I was so happy!
He finally left, as he went into the door and hopped into his car. I sat back down in my mom's office. All of a sudden, I heard the manager call out my name and say "Mark, come here!" I ran over and she handed me a small BOA football and said "Go run out and have him sign this for you!" I ran out to his car, as he was still in the parking lot. He rolled down his window for me and I said "I'm sorry Mr. Ealy, I just got this last minute, could you sign it for me?" He said " No problem", and he took the pen and signed it. I told him I really appreciated it and his time. He replied "No problem bro, I appreciate y'all". I felt really good and I walked back inside.
So that was that, a story of how I met Kony Ealy, I hope you enjoyed it. There was much more for me to write but I figured you guys didn't want to hear ALL the details. Id like to say thanks to my mom, the manager, God, and Mr. Kony Ealy. The guy is truly so humble and he's just an amazing guy. We only spent 20 minutes together but from that, you could tell just how great he was. This was one of the greatest days ever!
Posted by solorca on 22 December 2013 - 08:10 PM
This may be a little off-topic, but I wanted to share.
Yesterday morning, my wife received a devastating phone call. She learned that her father had passed away suddenly in his sleep. Dennis was a massive Panthers fan and has been talking this game all week, and I was working on trying to find a way to get him some tickets to the game.
In honor of him, his brothers and sisters all attended the game today, each wearing a piece of his huge collection of Panthers gear. Like most of the crowd, they sat through the downpour and cheered the team on to victory, knowing in their hearts that the team was going to find a way to win in honor of him.
At his home, my wife and I sat and watched the game with wife. As I was frustrated when we punted with 2 minutes remaining, my mother-in-law, who is only a casual fan, looked at me with sad eyes and said, "can we still win?". I told her that that there was a small chance, but it was a longshot.
Then we held them to a three and out. Then Ted Ginn caught the long pass. Then we scored.
I've been happy after big wins many times over the years and I consider myself a true diehard...but I've never been as happy as my mother-in-law was today. Sometimes a win is just a win. Sometimes, it's so much more.
Posted by SCP on 13 November 2013 - 04:19 PM
Son of a bitch if we didn’t go out to San Fran and steal the 49ers gold. The last time I was this excited was when Olestra hit the market place and fat free Doritos were invented. Fat free fat? I was sold! I assume the knee buckling cramps I experienced after eating the olestra laced Doritos are kind of what 49er fans were feeling when Thomas Davis drilled Kendall Hunter to cause that fumble. Alas the 24 hour rule has come and gone and I have savored the flavor. Fortunately it’s easier to move on from the 49ers than it was to get those poison Dorito crumbs out of my chest hair. So onward we go to play what is without a doubt the most important game for us this season, the next one. A Monday night showdown against Gisele’s husband and the Patriots.
I’m kind of perplexed about what to expect on Monday night. I’m almost certain I am going to see a poo ton of Patriot "fans" at the Bank. 99% of them are probably Red Sox fans because of that crappy Jimmy Falon movie Fever Pitch. 99% of them probably think New England is a US state. 99% of them probably think Ben Affleck should have won an academy award in Gigli. I’m certain the uptown parking lots are going to be packed full of Honda Odyssey’s with those stupid stick figure family stickers on the back window and "Red Sox Nation" bumper stickers next to a Miami Heat NBA Champ license plate frame. And I am 100% certain that if you ask 10 of these people to tell you who Steve Grogan is, they will all look at you with a blank set of eyes and a slacked jaw. I anticipate the number of "Keep Calm and Chive On" t-shirts to increase ten fold in uptown on Monday night. Most of the people we will see are probably from our neighborhoods and root for the Tarheels or Blue Devils in basketball. These sad little people are caught up in the Patriot bandwagon and most can’t help it because they seek to be a part of something that they feel is bigger than they are. I mean in Fever Pitch, when Jimmy Falon is down in St. Petersburg going crazy for the Red Sox, who didn’t want to join Red Sox Nation? The same can be said about the Ugg wearing douchebags that live in Charlotte and hate on our Panthers and turn their allegiance to a team a thousand miles away. Who doesn’t want to be a part of rooting for a team from Foxboro, MA that won a few Super Bowls? But tread lightly folks, because these people know as much about the Patriots as a certain Saints fan knows about the silky texture of a woman’s labia. Just like putting peanut butter on your sack to entice Mr. Bigglesworth is easier than trying to meet a real woman, it’s easy for these people to root for a team that is constantly being jerked off by the national media. They can suck it on Monday night but soon enough they will be Panther fans.
So come Monday night when these sellouts are trying to out-cheer the loyal Panther fans, we will rise to the occasion. Fua is out and Dan Connor is back. Coach Boomhauer needs more than two weeks to prepare for a Fua-less Panthers team. Shane Vereen and Stevan Ridley will meet Luke and by the end of the game will be calling him father. We are going to exploit that Patriots defense by running it up their ass. Nate Chandler is the next hall of fame guard and will open holes wider and deeper that Vincent Wilforks belly button. Tom Brady is going to need Gisele to wipe his ass after the Kraken and CJ smash the organic poop out of his metrosexual cornhole just as Star and KK come off the top rope like the Road Warriors. If we can somehow pull this off, it’s going to be a fun ride.
Posted by Jeremy Igo on 17 November 2014 - 06:41 AM
I have to tell you, I was struggling on Sunday. As a photographer, my job is to capture emotion and passion as plays are being made. These things were no where to be found for three quarters of football.
Then a funny thing happened..... a fight broke out. Just like last years Rams game, passions were ignited. You want to wake the Panthers up? Literally punch them in the mouth in their own home. From that point on, the game changed entirely.
The defense finally resembled what we have grown to love in Carolina. Plays were being made, emotions ran deep. The Panthers were back, ready to stake a claim once again for the division lead for the second time this season.
Josh Norman, who is as excited as anyone about a fight, felt it. This is why he plays the game. And as he pointed out on our Huddle Podcast (now available on iTunes), this is why you should consider buying a #24 jersey.
The offense was up. Could they match the defensive intensity? I had my doubts. But then a funny thing happened, Cam Newton turned into the 2011 gun slinger we all knew and loved with a touchdown strike to Kelvin Benjamin who made an amazing grab.
The kick coverage team also felt the energy, as Devin Hester was stifled for a modest return. Again, emotion... passion.. you know... FOOTBALL.
After a defensive stop, Philly Brown hauled in an amazing grab for a touchdown and the lead. The story of the day was reading more and more like a game that would be remembers for years to come.
The Panthers rookie wideouts celebrated together, a scene we possibly could see in Carolina for many seasons to come. The future of the passing game ... Thunder and Lightning.
The defense took over, and managed to limit Matt Ryan and the re-energized Falcons offense to a field goal. While some point to this as a failure, in reality it was a win. The defense put the offense in a position to win the game with plenty of time left on the clock. Considering the offense just had consecutive touchdowns, a knockout punch was surely on the way....
The Panthers continue to move the ball in the passing game. KB makes an amazing grab and gets the Panthers within striking distance....
And then, with the game on the line, and emotions and momentum higher than at any point in the 2014 season, Rivera chooses to shut down the offense and settle for a 46 yard field goal. At that moment, all momentum deflated. The disappointment from the offense, and the defense for that matter, was palatable. Greg Olsen was visibly upset and dumbfounded as he left for the sidelines. The Panthers players wanted to go for the jugular while the Panthers coaches were happy with a slap fight.
The result, a missed field goal.
Even if the field goal was made, it would have left over 90 seconds for the Falcons to get within their own field goal range to win the game. Ron Rivera, when Cam Newton and the offense needed his trust the most, showed them what he really thinks of them.
Which begs the question: If Ron Rivera doesn't believe in the Panthers offense, why should they believe in him?
Posted by itsghardy on 07 December 2013 - 09:59 PM
Hello everyone, how has everyone been? Well it is xmas time and some children who do not have much are in need! I am panning out the details now but the 17th at North lake mall I am going to donate some jackets and I want as many people who can to come out to my coat drive. Just letting everyone know if I am not on here before hand please look at my twitter for the news updates on this @itsghardy (with info like when and where) I will be raffling off some autographed things as well to help the cause!! I'd appreciate as much support as possible and I promise you these children will as well! Happy holidays! #krakenout #panthernation #leggo
if you are not local PLEASE tell ten people and go out in ur local community and give a jacket or something to a kid in need!
Posted by NanceUSMC on 24 December 2013 - 11:05 AM
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the land,
The playoffs were coming, for each Panther fan.
However unlikely they said this would be,
The Panthers delivered, for you and for me.
The journey was long, and not without struggle,
There were plenty of doubters, over at Carolina Huddle.
But the team was determined, and promised to fight,
So that fans could rejoice, on this Christmas Eve night.
But just how we got to this wonderful place,
Is a story that puts a huge smile on my face.
The NFC South, we were expected to lose,
Good thing we don't care, about those point of views.
It's the year of the Saints, said the man on TV
They've got too much talent, who else could it be?
Coach Payton was back, that's what they were lackin',
But the experts forgot, Coach Ron has The Kraken.
The showdown was set, for a little past noon,
What they didn't expect? The Carolina monsoon.
The torrential downpour was a nice surprise,
And certainly helped with the Saintly demise.
The Saints kicked the ball, and the Panthers received,
The offense came out, and we all believed.
DWill off tackle, that was the call.
The crowd was electric, 'Get Smitty the ball!'
But the offense soon stalled, this wasn't the plan.
Not that it mattered, cause Kuechly's the man!
He dashed and he darted, it was quite a sight
And showed that this team, could put up a fight.
The Saints tried to run, and they didn't get far.
Thanks partly because of a big man named Star.
So Brees dropped back to pass, but had little success,
Cause the first half, you see, was a Panther sack-fest.
The Saints managed to put three points on the board
It didn't change much, fans continued to roar.
Saint coaches decided to win would take tricks
Then decided to try a surprise on-side kick.
They recovered the ball, and put up three more points.
The Panther response? Let's make some more noise!
The defense was solid, and TD is a beast,
He wasn't afraid of Drew Brees, in the least.
Brees dropped back to pass, he had Graham in his sights
But just about then, Thomas Davis took flight.
TD hauled it in, an incredible pick!
Then Deangelo rushed, for a really quick six!
Halftime had come, with the Panthers ahead
Twas the first time all day, that the Panthers had led.
It was just about now, that the rain came to town,
And man let me tell you, it really came down!
But Brees is fantastic, and a tough one to spook
But in this downpour, he threw it to Luke!
The rain made it tough, to move or to score
But despite all this mess, we were still up by four.
The Panthers had given, as good as they'd got
For rivals like this, predictions mean squat.
But the Saints they weren't done, they had more in the tank
That's when Brees tossed the ball, to Graham on the flank.
The Saints took the lead, at thirteen to ten
I hadn't been worried, up until then.
It was late in the game, and the offense had stalled
But just about then, Cam got the call.
He dropped back to pass, and hit Teddy in stride
And that quick young man, took the Saints for a ride.
Hurry up Cats, only seconds are left!
Don't worry my friends, cause Greg Olsen is deft!
He pulled in the pass, and fell to the ground
Cam rushed to the line, to spike the ball down.
And that's when it happened, the crowd started to rock
The next play, you see, put the Saints fans in shock.
Dom on the left, ran a simple out-route
And cradled the ball as he fell to the ground.
The crowd exploded, in spite of the rain
Cause we revel, you see, in Saintly disdain.
The review was upheld, as we knew it would be
That play right there, put the Cats up by three.
Extra point on the board, and time winding down
It was joyous to see, Sean Payton's frown.
The Panthers had won, on this wet winter day
And don't really care, what the 'experts' might say.
Now we're back in the playoffs, and man is it grand
There's room on our bandwagon, for everyone to stand.
We're gonna play tough, and we will make some noise
That's just how it is, for these Carolina boys!
Posted by PhillyB on 23 September 2013 - 06:44 PM
After two weeks of abject disappointment and the brewing cumulonimbus cloud of infuriating mediocrity and status-quo apathy casting shadows over the Carolinas, the defensive sledgehammer and offensive curb-stomping we laid on the Gaints has this fanbase at a collective level of giddiness unprecedented since week one of the Ron Rivera era.
That said, there are plenty of doubtful twinges impinging the onslaught of unbridled joy. We've seen this before: good game against good team followed by bad game against bad team and the inevitable regression to the mean. Doom has been derailed, but skepticism is still chugging along at top speed. Choo fuging choo. We still suck. Right?
WRONG!!!!! Lend me your ears, for I present to you a dozen reasons why it's an absolutely wonderful time to be a fan of the Carolina Panthers. And so without further gilding the lily, and no more ado, I give to you:
(12) This distraught New York Giants fan, a Lysol-toilet-bowl-cleaner-blue turd floating in the pristine electric-blue-and-silver punch bowl of the Carolina endzone, following Cam's first rushing touchdown of the year.
(11) Deangelo Williams and the Carolina running game.
Much-maligned running back Deangelo Williams is back to the 5.0 ypc form that defined his early career and had people comparing him to Jim Brown as recently as last season before Hurney's firing exposed the level of incompetence in roster management in a way that most of us had never before considered. Angst turned into improperly-directed rage, and every preseason Deangelo draw play into a wall of interior pressure for no gain had most of us ready to trade him to the CFL for a couple of right-guard-sized eskimos. Instead, three games in:
1. LeSean McCoy -------- PHI - 62 attempts, 395 yards
2. Doug Martin ------------ TB - 73 attempts, 297 yards
3. DeAngelo Williams ---- CAR - 62 attempts, 291 yards
4. DeMarco Murray ------ DAL - 58 attempts, 286 yards
5. Adrian Peterson ------- MIN - 69 attempts, 281 yards
Yes, you read that right. DeAngelo Williams is the league's third-leading rusher, and that's with Cam Newton taking designed runs that might've otherwise gone to him. Granted we're stuck with his crippling contract, but there's nothing we can do about that, so the second best thing is him performing like a top running back, and that's exactly what we're getting.
Oh and Tolbert should hit his stride over the next games - right about the time we get bruiser Jonathon Stewart and Darren-Sproles-esque Barner lining up in the backfield.
(10) Our kicking game.
A year or two ago we were stabbing ourselves in the eyes every time Olindo Mare missed an easy game-winner or Medlock looked like Lauren Silberman or we were watching in shrieking horror as Brad Nortman shanked a routine punt out of bounds for a twenty-yard net at the worst possible moment in a game. And suddenly, holy hell, is that a 53-yard field goal with room to spare? Is that a deep, high-hanging punt? (he's gone from 32nd in the league in punt yard average to a respectable sixteenth in the space of a single season, leapfrogging half the NFL in the process.) Mother of God, consecutive touchbacks through every game this season?
Both players are young and talented, and if they keep up this measure of consistency they could easily stay with the team for the rest of the decade (or longer.) As many times as special teams miscues involving kicking or punting has been a problem, this is a development that should have all of us shitting our pantaloons with excitement.
(9) Jerry Richardson may be newly focused on winning over profits.
Granted this one is a stretch, and I may be reading too much into things, but after last year's debacle against the Cowboys and last week's debacle against the Bills, Richardson received an obscenely high level of negative fan feedback. Last year he followed the debacle by firing Hurney. In week three this season, perhaps following the current of letters stuffing his mailbox like Kurb's and mine, he skipped his normal powwow with visiting executives and instead chose to mingle quietly with players before the impending showdown.
This picture should give you the chills. Maybe we're turning it around from the top.
photo credit: zod
(8) Cam Newton and the progression of lockerroom cohesiveness.
Since April 2011 we've had an influx of red-faced children invading these boards and spewing strawberry poptart crumbs as they scream about maturity, chemistry, attitudes, and winning (four elements which they share the distinction of collectively knowing nothing about.) However, as Cam has progressed as a quarterback and as a human being, we've seen a transformation. It's tangible - you can see it in his face, in his pressers, on the field.
A few days ago we heard a story that seemed to encapsulate the change: Thomas Davis popping into the weight room where Cam was lifting by himself, asking if he was ever going to join the team. This moment seemed to be a catalyst: Cam himself admitted that he thought he was giving the impression of being dedicated and focused, but realized that he was alienating the guys he fought with on Sundays.
"Like looking at yourself as a high schooler," Cam said, introspectively, a touch of disbelief in his voice when comparing himself now to himself as a teammate two years ago. "You can't relate to it." And we've seen that transformation before our eyes. It was visible Sunday. Remember all the accusations last year that Cam was just sitting down instead of celebrating with his receivers?
photo credit: zod
...yeah, those days are over. Cam loves his guys and his guys love Cam, and we're seeing it on the field. We're seeing it in celebrations. We're seeing it in selflessness: look at Smitty, ball-hungry, insatiable Smitty, joining the celebration, craving the win over personal stats. And we're seeing it in a suddenly new ability to overcome adversity, the lack of which was a hallmark of the early Cam Newton-led Panthers. It's a beautiful thing.
(7) Agent 89.
You know what, let's talk about Steve Smith.
He's been marginal this year statistically. He grabbed a touchdown against the Seahawks in our season opener, but he's only averaged about 50 yards a game and hasn't made any of the big downfield plays we're accustomed to seeing. And yet Steve looks more confident, more content than we've ever seen him, and no less hungry or focused for it. What gives?
Well, his role on the team is changing. Smitty is 34, and he's suddenly synthesizing his dynamic outside play and uncanny ability to snag those first down comebacks on the sideline with a high number of snaps playing out of the slot. This is directly attributed to Ricky Proehl, whose role as a mentor for Steve Smith during his early years with a team has picked up right where it left off. I'm convinced he's the reason we've seen this subtle, but important, change in Agent 89.
So is that it? A feel-good story capped off by an 700-yard season?
Doubtful. This offense is finding its rhythm and gotten progressively better week to week. Ted Ginn Jr. has emerged as a legitimate deep threat, and he'll be worked into the lineup with increasing snaps if he continues to play like this, and defensive coordinators will take note. LaFell silenced critics last week, getting open with eye-popping consistency against the Giants secondary and posting the first two-touchdown game of his career. Olsen will continue to flourish; he's quietly on pace to break 1,000 yards this season.
All of these things bode well for Steve Smith. Mercurial, incendiary, and the quintessential milquetoastal antonym, he'll not be counted out, and as the Panthers get hot he'll be leading the way.
(6) Speaking of offense, we're on pace to put up 23 points a game.
Three games isn't a very large sample size. It's unlikely we routinely drop 38-burgers on teams, but I'd argue it's even more unlikely that we drop 7-Quinoas anymore. With the talent on this roster it isn't unreasonable to expect four to five touchdowns a week between the running and passing game, and suddenly we've got a kicker who can make long field goals barefoot with his eyes closed.
pair this with:
(5) a defense allowing twelve points a game
...and suddenly you've got a very dangerous football team on your hands. Twelve points, bitches. That defensive line is stifling. That linebacking corps is blowing up runners in the backfield. That secondary is locking down the likes of Hakeem Nicks and causing coverage sacks, or forcing interceptions, or fumbles... take your pick.
This means statistically we'll double our opponents' scores down the stretch if we can keep this up. And leading the way and making all this possible:
(4) Star Lotulelei and the defensive line.
Where do you even begin on this? Greg Hardy? Unstoppable sack streaks. CJ? A penchant for sack/fumbles and a perpetual motor. Short? Grabbed his first sack Sunday, constantly slipping in between guards and ruining plays before they develop.
Fua? You know what, forget about, just watch this video
Note in particular Star's sack:
Yes, that is Star reaching around the center with one arm, grabbing onto Eli with one hand, the lineman still in front of him, and subsequently dragging him to the ground.
With one hand.
(3) The upcoming schedule favors the Panthers.
That's right, our horrendously difficult schedule is taking a leave of absence just about the time we're getting hot. We've got the Cardinals, Vikings, Rams, and Buccaneers coming up; if we play up to our averages in scoring/defending these should be easy wins. The first three have statuesque quarterbacks that should be prime targets for our marauding front four, and the Bucs... well... they're the Bucs.
The toughest game in that stretch is the Vikings; assuming we can beat them, it's not unreasonable to expect to face the Falcons as a 5-2 team.
Five and fuging two.
(2) Speaking of schedules, the NFC kind of sucks right now.
Oh hey look, the Falcons and Packers have the same record as us! That's right, two perennial playoff/superbowl contenders are 1-2, with the same record as the Panthers. Oh hey look, so do the San Francisco 49ers, who narrowly lost the superbowl last year. Half the NFC East hasn't won a game, the Vikigns are winless, the Rams and Cardinals look like trash.
This means the wildcard race is wide open; assuming we keep a hot streak here we are set up nicely to compete for the division title, falling at worst to a wildcard berth. Keep pulling against anyone else challenging for the division lead (except for us, obviously) because parity works to our advantage right now.
(1) These threads dominating the Giants message board the night after we shut them out.
and the best of all:
After handing two years of complete morons on these boards it's kind of nice to see meltdowns happening somewhere else for once, and knowing we caused them. Schadenfreude is just so much fun.
Posted by Lilsmitty09 on 27 April 2014 - 10:41 AM
On Instagram a few days ago I decided to make just a quick 15 second video on Thomas Davis (15 seconds is the limit), and wasn't expecting much. Almost immediately after posting it, Thomas Davis himself saw the video, liked it and commented on it with the emoticons of clapping hands and thumbs up. He then a few seconds later commented "do a longer one and email it to me". So with that being said, I did a longer one (seen above) and sent it to him. Pretty cool! I'm interning for an Arena Football League team right now and have made highlights per request by them, but never by an NFL player let alone a Panther!
For most of you this is a "Cool Story Bro" thread, which is exactly why the video was posted first. But I just think it's cool how great our organization is, and how they can reach out to you even when your thousands of miles away!
Not to mention there wasn't a single TD highlight on YT. That man deserves hundreds. Maybe next it's time for a Kuechly one?
Posted by Dex on 19 November 2013 - 09:35 PM
What's up motherfugers. This is going to be boring but I don't give a fug I had a great time.
Friday November 15th
Feeling like a fuging sack of poo. Long ass week that seemed to be dragging because of the game. I'm tired as fug but I'm like fug it I wanna go for a run. Get about 5 yards down the street and sprain my fuging ankle.
Doctor's is too expensive and ain't no buddy got time for the fuging poo. Only won thing was on my mind... Getting on that plane Sunday morning and there was no fuging whey it wasn't happening... Oh and calling out of work Saturday and watching Dexter.
Saturday November 16th
Sunday November 17th
Didn't sleep last night. Dozed on and off between 11 and 430 am. Stay in bed refreshing the Huddle every one or two minutes hoping for a new thread. I see SuperJ's name and throw my phone across the room. 6 am I get out of bed and head down to D&D to get a cream cheese bagel.
Moving on. I'm all fuging packed and ready to go. I'm leaving on a fuging jet plane and I'll be back again on fuging Tuesday. We get to the airport at about 11am and decide to get some food cause the flight isn't for another couple hours. Oh and by we I mean my fuging Patriot's fan girlfriend.
I go the bathroom to take a leak. A security guard disreguards the 1-3-5 rule and decides to take #4. This concerns me but I squeeze the fuging lemon and come out to find my girlfriend changed the background on my phone to a stupid fuging selfie and took off my Greg Olsen lucky wallpaper.
This angers me. I tell her she has jinxed my team and doomed them to irrelevance for eternity. She reminds me Jimmy Clausen had his mom invest in a energy drink pyramid scheme and he shamelessly promotes it on his twitter. I said "that's good but not enough." She reminds me of her fellatio skills. I pick up our bags and start moving to the terminal after I change Greg back.
Airports are fuging miserable but I stand in line waiting for the time to come. They check my fuging bag even though it meets requirements. fug you LGA.
Wheels up Charlotte here I come.
We get to cruising altitude and it's pretty fuging sweet once we get above the clouds.
The fuging flight attendant comes around asking me if I want a fuging juice like I'm a little kid. The conversation went along the lines of something like this.
Flo - "Would you like a beverage sir? We have water, soda, juice -"
Dex - "Do you have alcohol?"
Flo - "Yes sir we have-"
Dex - "I'll take whatever's strongest and a cup with ice."
That's moar like it. But wait, what is that off in the distance?
Charlotte....? Is that you?
So anyway Douglas is a fuging shitshow with 8 flights arriving and only one baggage claim section working but we find our poo and hail a fuging cab.
Our cabbie was a nice guy and told us a lot about the city. But fug that poo you wanna get to the game right? Well it's going to be a while. We arrive at the Upton Sheraton formerly the Blake Hotel and settle in with an afternoon fug and a $5 water from the hallway vending machine.
Usual poo but not a bad room at all.
So anyway we freshen up and head over to the Epicenter and Wild Wing Cafe to catch the rest of the 4:00 games. Service and food was great but the atmosphere could use a chainsaw. Bahston fahcking accidents everywhere. fug you Pat's fans.
Buffalo Chicken Dip & Chips
Cheesy Jalapeno Bacon Fries
Anyway moleface wins so I get mad and we decide to go on a walk around Charlotte in the rain to see some poo.
King Kemba! (UCONN Fan)
This fuging thing! Anyway I get tired and pass out halfway through SNF. The day I've been waiting for has arrived...
Monday November 18th
I woke up at the exact time the sun fuging broke across the horizon. I knew today was going to be the fuging day. So my girlfriend and I decide I need an undershirt for my jersey because it might get a little chilly later. I call her a weak woman but agree so we go to Target and get me an undershirt while grabbing some breakfast at Starbucks. Also fun little fact. I was amazed at this.
In Connecticut only package stores and groceries can sell alcohol but it was everywhere I turned down here. It also just became available for purchase on Sundays a few months ago. (Thank God)
So anyway we do the 3 S's and head over to BoA early to go to the Team Store and see the sights before the game. Also weather earlier in the week called for a shitty fuging day. But it was absolutely gorgeous all day!
We walk for about 20 minutes and then I see it in all of it's fuging glory.
I almost teared up(comes later) seeing her. We walked along the "Observer Wall" which was pretty cool then make our way down to the stadium.
The place is absolutely fuging beautiful. The cats were sweet and made my girlfriend's legs quiver. Actually they may have made mine quiver but whatever moving on to quite possibly my favorite part of the trip.
I may come off as a dick in this but Sam Mills is my favorite Panther of all time and when I saw him and touched his statue it damn near truly brought me to tears. I'm a film major and a script I'm writing is inspired by his story and will be dedicated to him and his honor. My grandmother has been fighting breast cancer for the last 3 years and has taken everything that it's thrown at her and said "fug you, you're not keeping me down". The "Keep Pounding" slogan may mean a lot to us as Panther fans but it carries a greater meaning that can be shared by anyone that's ever been affected by cancer or even any hardship in their life. Love and miss you Sammy. RIP.
Now onto the Team Store! I was one of the first in line!
Didn't spend a whole lot.
- 8 Keep Pounding Bracelets
- Keychain for mom
- Gameday Pin
- Growl Towl
- Sideline Winter Hat
All in all it was great seeing the stuff I wanted to see at the stadium while I was sober. Saw a few more sights and then headed back up the hotel to get ready, geared up and head out to meet a couple fellow Huddlers at a tailgate.
Carp24000 PM'd earlier in the week and told me to stop by the tailgate he goes to. He said $10 all you can drink and eat. Really starting to fall in love with this city. So my girlfriend and I start making our way across the city Kuechly/Edelmen jersies side by side. Got some strange looks but whatever. So we get to the tailgate behind The Doghouse right next to the stadium.
It was an awesome fuging tailgate. Hung out with Carp and his buddy for about and hour or so drinking beer, taking hots, eating and playing cornhole. Then that's when the second Huddler arrived. Your Girlfriend's Favorite Huddler. The "Tucker Max" of the Huddle who's girlfriend is also coincidentally a Pat's fan but he left her home like a bawss. So we all hungout for a couple more hours and got shithoused then proceeded to make our way into the stadium around 7pm.
Also I just want to say Carp and YGFH are two of the coolest and nicest guys I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Hope to see you guys next time I come down!
Here it is. Finally for the first time ever I see the field. My fuging sanctuary. Words couldn't describe my emotions.
Anyway met our seatmates both Panther's couples (who were both awesome all game making noise and standing up) then proceeding to hike back down the mountain for beer and Bojangles before the Veteran's ceremony began.
By the way BoA was LOUD basically all game and really filled up halfway through the ceremony.
Last minute fans scurrying to get in.
Very classy ceremony by the way with the building lit up with the American Flag and the field as well.
Alright now I'm not going to commentate the game. I didn't take any pictures (superstition) so will just fast forward to the end.
As soon as we saw Mitchell running around we knew we won and BoA fuging ERUPTED. It was incredible, I burst out crying into my girlfriend's arms and people immediately took out their cameras and took pictures of me and her kissing and hugging. Man card revoked and I don't care.I really wouldn't have changed a thing about my first trip to BoA. Fans were great to my girlfriend, Huddlers I met were awesome, I got to see the city and our Panthers won. I look up into the stars because I was fuging drunk and couldn't find the building with the V on it and wept some more. Hadn't had this feeling since 08 and if you never had it then I can't explain it to you.
Dude above almost ruined the picture fug him! But anyway we stayed for a while they started to make our way down. Here's my drunk ass trying to start a "let's go Panthers" on the ramps.
Tuesday November 19th
So that was my trip and it really was something special. To the victors go the spoils.
(Giselle was in the bathroom.)
So wheels up Huddle it's back to Connecticut to rub the win in all my Patriot fan friend's faces. Thanks for the time of my life and lets keep this streak going.
Posted by Phinisher on 20 November 2013 - 10:11 AM
Good morning my fellow Carolinians!!!!
For those who know me, you know me around here as "Henne Given Sunday" or now as "The Phinisher"
For those who don't know me. I am a lifelong Dolphins fan, who moved to the great Queen city back in 2008.
Can you believe it's been 4 years since that Thursday night game where Miami squeeked one out and held off Delhommes desperate come back?! That was fun though!
Every 4 years the Miami Dolphins and The Panthers duke it out. Here we are again. I wanted to bring some perspective on this game from how I see it as I watch both teams rather closely.
Let me start off with thank you. Thank you for doing that to New England. Man I love seeing Tom Bradys vagina chin dripping with slobbering goo as hes yelling like a bitch to the ref for not fisting him another bullshit call in a game. Boy if it was Foxboro you know that flag would've stayed. Brady probably cried for 5 hours while Giesel responded to hate mail on his uggs sponsered fan-site.
Now its on to Miami!
Why Miami Will win:
- Its 39 fuging degrees here in Charlotte...........in Miami? 80 at 9:50 in the morning!!!!!!!!!! On Sunday it will be a high of 80, probably humid and sticky. Miami wears white on whites at home, so you all will be in dark uniforms, in a 1pm game. Coming from South East Russian weather here in charlotte, thats going to be a big hit of STANK to the face when you get off the plane
- You are high as a kite right now after two big wins. You have the big bad Saints in 2 weeks, and Miami on a short week, non-divisional, non-national tv game has all the signs to a let down.
- Ryan Tannehill is playing pretty good right now. No Sophmore slump for this kid. He has 3 interceptions at the end of games from hailmarys, take those away and he's got a very impressive td/int ratio for a kid with limited experience. Mike Wallace leads the league (or is close) in drops, and Tannehill has missed his target on multiple deep balls, but thats bound to correct itself soon, and if you guys for some god moses noah reason can't reach Tannehill on a couple plays, I don't see a DB on your roster that worries me covering Wallace.
- Our defensive front 7 is pretty scary too. Cam Wake is a fuging monster. The original Kraken. Dude got healthy 2 weeks ago and is on a tear. Randy Stark, Paul Solia and Jared Odrick can stuff the run and rush the passer. Dion Jordan is all over the field. We bounced him from DE to Middle linebacker last week in the middle of Phillip Rivers cadence and he called a timeout. Blew his fuging mind. Dannell Ellerbe and Phillip Wheeler rush the passer good and cover well. Gates had a couple of catches last week and a short TD, but we held him mostly in check.
- Brent Grimes will be on Smitty, and he knows him well. Grimes is healthy and playing at his 2011 pro bowl level he was playing at with the Falcons. Hes locking guys down, picking off passes, scoring TDs and all over the field. He looks so short, but the dude has the athletic ability of a god damn cheetah warrior!
- Lamar Miller in space is dangerous. You guys miss a lot of tackles, that happens Sunday and Miller will break a couple.
- We lose to crap teams....but beat good teams. We have lost to Tampa, Buffalo and Baltimore. But we've beat Cleveland, Atlanta, Cincy on national TV and Indianapolis on the road, even stopping Andrew Luck on a 4th quarter come back. We usually show up against good teams for some dumb reason that makes me want to murder a boy scout.
Why Carolina Will win:
- Cam Newton is a man beast of silver and black. He's literally a man panther. Panthro. He scares the living jesus out of me.
- We couldnt block 4 mentally challeneged kids on roller skates right now. Richie Incognito is suspended, probably punting a puppy somewhere. Jonathan Martin is at a gay bar getting paid to do it. Will fuging Yeatman was our only hope and he tore his ACL washing his legs in the shower.....we are starting at left guard Sam Brenner (who was on Dallas' practice squad during halloween) and Nate Garner at Center (unless Mike Pouncey comes back). Your front seven will need two seats each on the airplane to Miami...one for them to sit, and one for them to place their boners from being so excited about going against this offensive paper bag....er....I mean line.
- Ryan Tannehill needs help. Our running game average 5 inches per carry against Tampa Bay......no I did NOT type that wrong. 5 INCHESSSSSS PER CARRY!!!!! Against Tampa. The skin diseased leporsy patients. FML
- Our defense tackles about as good as those same mentally challenged kids on roller skates....exept put them on an ice rink. Yeah. Terrible. Phillip Wheeler makes me miss Channing Crowder....hes that bad against the run.
- We are the Dolphins. We just got into the playoff hunt at 5-5 we always choke when the going gets tough. Incognito should've spent more time toughening up this coaching staff instead of worrying about Jonathan Martins gay ass.......and yes I really think hes gay. That will never come out. But hes gay.
So there you have it. Hope you enjoyed as much as I enjoyed typing it. After the game Ill continue to root for the Panthers, especially against the Saints and that twat QB with the super continent Pangea on his face!
Posted by Zod on 22 September 2013 - 06:09 PM
This day was different. Jerry was not playing host. Instead, he got out of his cart and made his presence felt in the end zone during warm up drills. At one point I thought he was in danger of being hit by an offensive linemen, but he didn't budge. As they players walked to mid field, Jerry Richardson stood there stoically.
The result was the biggest lopsided victory in Panthers history. The Panthers fired on all cylinders and finally gave fans a glimpse of what is possible with this team.
The defense posted a shutout as I began to actually feel a little sorry for young Eli Manning. Eli frequently decided to hit the dirt before contact was made, a wise decision on his part.
This was the defense that we all dreamed of this offseason. An unrelenting group of men determined to devastate their opponent.
In fact, some of their hits knocked the Giants offensive players cleanly off their feet.
The biggest question mark going in to the game was the Panthers secondary. Thomas Davis challenged them to make a play. The front seven was doing their part, it was time for the secondary to step up and contribute. Melvin White, a rookie out of Lafayette, did so in convincing fashion. His interception of Eli Manning some would say put the nail in their coffin.
On offense we saw the Cam Newton of old. A Cam Newton not afraid to run the ball. A Cam Newton without the leash that Mike Shula had placed on him for two games. It seems the Panthers remembered they have one of the most exciting quarterbacks in the league, and called plays accordingly.
Cam did have an interception (pictured below). Credit the Giants defense for getting in his face and forcing Cam to throw off his back foot. That would be the last time the Giants defense did something worth mentioning.
The Panthers rushing attack also found its mojo once again. Deangelo Wiliams rushed for 120 yards.
Mike Tolbert was not as effective in terms of yards, but very effective in spelling Deangelo and making sure the Giants defensive interior stayed winded.
One thing I pointed out in the pregame was that Cam would need to spread the ball around if the Panthers were to win this game. While it is strange not seeing Steve Smith on the top of the receiving stats, it is for the best.
Brandon Lafell finally got a pair of Cam Newton touchdowns, and was congratulated by #1 in epic fashion...
Tedd Ginn Also snared a touchdown...
and promptly rewarded a lucky fan.
But to me, the play of the game was the Cam Newton QB sneak for the touchdown.
For weeks we have been calling for the Panthers to use Cam on short down yardage. You have a huge and hugely talented quarterback, why would you not run him for a short quick gain? Apparently Mike Shula heard our cries and turned him loose. The result was sustained drives and 7 points.
Once Cam scored that touchdown, I could literally feel a huge weight being lifted off of his shoulders for him. He gave a yell that was more serious than campy. more genuine than contrived. It was pure unadulterated joy, and it was fantastic.
After the game Cam was called over by Eli Manning and exchanged a few pleasantries with him. Cam was all class and wished him the best of luck the rest of the season.
Click here to view the article
Posted by Zod on 01 September 2013 - 09:14 AM
Friends, Huddlers, Carolinians, lend me your beers.
This week begins anew the NFL Season. A time in which our hearts and minds turn from beaches and bikinis to large sweaty men hitting one another on a field of plastic grass. A time when Sundays no longer mean mowing the lawn just to escape the horrors of our pathetic domesticated existence, if only for a moment.
I submit to you on this day that football is our liberation. This week, we take back our balls.
First up on our schedule and inevitable road to glory is the provincial town of Seattle. This suburb of Vancouver is best known for its god awful weather, foul coffee, and a music genre named after the stuff you clean out from betwixt your toes. While not discussing the intricacies of Twilight, Seattle residents are known to try their best to acclimate to American culture by watching our national past time, football.
This Sunday, the Seattle Seahawks fall victim to the Carolina Panthers and serve as a sacrifice to the gods of football. Their inferior cast of players, while heralded in the media, are nothing more than paper puppets pathetically perpetuating the practice of pomposity.
Men, look at their shiny unblemished exterior. I say beneath that vomit green veneer is weakness. Weakness is meant to be exploited.
And exploit it... we shall.
This season the Panthers have put together a group of individuals whose skills mesh into what will be known as the greatest team of all time.
The leader is a wise statesman who formulated the plan. Once a great player himself, he now provides the wisdom necessary to guide his team to victory.
On offense is a smooth talking snappy dresser whose grace on the field makes winning seem effortless. A man the ladies want and the men want to be. One might say he is the face of the franchise
On defense a leader has emerged whose gameplay seems both amazing and insane all at once. The way he throws himself at defenders forces some to wonder if he may be a slight bit crazy.
The muscle is provided by a man so angry and feared that he has become legend. Cross him, and your foolishness will be pitied.
Ladies and gentleman, while the Seahawks can be considered a B team, the Panthers are the A-Team.
I love it when a plan comes together.
Panthers 24 - Seahawks 17
Click here to view the article
Posted by Jeremy Igo on 31 July 2014 - 03:16 PM
The first rainy day of training camp brought out the best in some, the worst in others.
Kelvin Benjamin was participating in warmups, although still in shorts. Benjamin had no brace or protection on his knee and appeared to go through the stretches without any discomfort. He may not be far from suiting up again.
Charles Johnson put in extra work with his hand positioning before practice began. Charles knows a defensive lineman's hands are one of the more important aspects of the game to master.
Even though Chandler and Bell are in competition for the same position, they still manage to practice and get along without any negative feelings towards one another. We are lucky that is the case, on many teams it would not be.
Amini Silatolu is quietly putting together a solid camp after having been out with an injury most of last season. The combination of Turner and Silatolu may be the best guard duo the Panthers have had in quite some time. The future looks very bright along the offensive line interior.
Deangelo Williams was once again taking first team snaps.
Apparently Deangelo is so familiar with his role he doesn't need to participate in the huddle, and didn't most of the day.
Mike Tolbert also received plenty of carries. Ball security is rarely a concern with Tolbert. He covers up well and tends to drag any players who reach for the ball along with him.
Antoine Cason and Melvin White are most likely the starting corners this season. In my opinion, Cason is a significant upgrade over Captain Munnerlyn. The Panthers are better off this year at corner.
Rookie UDFA Carrington Byndom is a guy I would like to see make the team this year. He has made enough plays on the field to at the very least be considered for a practice squad.
James Dockery, the 4th year CB out of Oregon State, had a pretty interception today on a Derek Anderson pass. He was able to cut off Marcus Lucas and make a play on the ball before Lucas could react.
Charles Godfrey again had a rough day today. Godfrey, who missed most of the 2013 season with a torn Achilles, now finds himself struggling to learn a new position. Not many players come back from an Achilles tear in a single year. The added stress of learning a new position may be too much for him. Rookie Bene Benwikere may end up starting in the nickel position. Bene had a "would be touchdown" after interception today on a Derek Anderson throw.
When matched up against Tavarres King, Godfrey was taken out of position and no longer showed the kind of speed it takes to recover from the mistake. It is unclear if Godfrey is going to be able to make this team at all.
Speaking of Tavarres King, King had the best camp day so far of any receiver. The goal for him is to try to separate himself from the lower tier wide receivers who are on the bubble. King's performance today, which included a long TD, should help him reach that goal.
Denicos Allen is another player that is struggling early. Allen, at 5'11 and only 225, is pushed around by the tight ends and full backs quite a bit. Today Brandon Williams gave him an elbow that lifted him off the ground and took him out of the play.
I like what I am seeing out of second year man AJ Klein. Klein has been working on his covering skills and it may pay off into a starting role, replacing Chase Blackburn.
Luke Kuechly remains the field general of the defense. Kuechly is more vocal this season than he has ever been. He appears to be settling into his leadership role.
It is obvious everyone on the team respects Luke and follows his lead. In some ways, he may just be the most important player on the team.
Nate Chandler once again spent quite a bit of time at left tackle and performed well against Greg Hardy. Chandler is very quick off the snap and rarely gives up the first step to a defensive end, including the speedy Hardy.
Trai Turner also had a positive day today and did well in pass protection, even against defenders like Star Lotulelei. Turner, an already formidable run blocker, needs to perfect his pass protection skills to become a well rounded player.
Jericho Cotchery had a really nice TD today from Cam Newton, but what was more impressive to me was what Cotchery did just after. Along the sidelines he went over with Brenton Bersin what he did and the intricacies of the play. I won't tell you the number of times I saw Steve Smith do this in camp, but it rhymes with Nero.
We are lucky to have Cotchery.
Cam Newton had a rough day today, presumably because of the wet conditions. Many of his passes were thrown high.
Cam looked frustrated often, not happy at all with his performance.
When balls are being overthrown by the quarterbacks, the receiver that it effects the most is 5'10" Kealoha Pilares. The overthrows may not be as big an issue with Kelvin Benjamin back on the field.
Pilares did manage to get the most praise from the coaching staff on kick return duties. This may be his best path to making the team.
After practice, the quarterbacks and receivers put in extra time with passing drills. Once that was completed, Cam was the last player on the field. He began to do conditioning drills.
QB coach Ken Dorsey then went to him with encouragement. Dorsey has a quiet cool about him that gels very well with Newton. Soft spoken and sincere, Dorsey is easy to like.
I spoke with Dorsey after practice and asked him about the extra conditioning Newton was doing. Dorsey told me that is something Cam does when he is not happy with the performance he left on the field. Cam takes it upon himself and has the discipline to enforce extra work, a reminder to do better the next day.
I'd say that is admirable.
Posted by cattv1 on 28 May 2014 - 03:05 PM
As promised, I did. Thanks for the kind words. Look forward to seeing you out there next week.