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Well, I feel like a failure even though I shouldn't...

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This past week was spring rush for my college and I was certain that I was going to get a bid from a particular fraternity only to find out that they didn't want me. I know it's not a huge deal, but I really liked them and thought that I'd fit in well with them. [size=4]I didn't really rush any other fraternities so I ultimately did not receive any bids. [/size][size=4]I feel pretty down right now and expressing my thoughts here has helped me in the past, so here I am.[/size]

Thoughts? Is it even that big of a deal?

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I have had friends in frats that really enjoyed it and made life long friends.

My best friend rushed SigNu, was basically tortured for a semester, (forced to drink "mystery" drinks, stripped covered in honey and rolled in a hay field, stripped to boxers had beer poured on them while their "big bro"'s called them worthless and such, not allowed to speak or sleep for a week..actually this poo sounds kind of homo..) then after all that the "Big Bros" all graduated and the Frat collapsed and was disbanned.

I never joined, made some life long friends, went to plenty of parties/events, got my share of ladies, etc. You don't need to have it for a good College experience.
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not a big deal.

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[quote name='Kurb' timestamp='1358971545' post='2112078']
I have had friends in frats that really enjoyed it and made life long friends.

My best friend rushed SigNu, was basically tortured for a semester, (forced to drink "mystery" drinks, stripped covered in honey and rolled in a hay field, stripped to boxers had beer poured on them while their "big bro"'s called them worthless and such, not allowed to speak or sleep for a week..actually this poo sounds kind of homo..) then after all that the "Big Bros" all graduated and the Frat collapsed and was disbanned.

I never joined, made some life long friends, went to plenty of parties/events, got my share of ladies, etc. You don't need to have it for a good College experience.
[/quote]

I've had somewhat of a difficulty making friends here. I have some close friends but rarely get to see them. How did you make your life long friends and get your fair share of ladies? It seems like the only way to do this at the university I attend is to go Greek.

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[quote name='Kurb' timestamp='1358971545' post='2112078']

I never joined, made some life long friends, went to plenty of parties/events, got my share of ladies, etc. You don't need to have it for a good College experience.
[/quote]

I agree...why pay to have friends? I can't stand frat boys/sorority whores anyways...you're better off w/o them :)
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Where do you go to school?

I was in a frat and made some great, life long friends... but I also have the same from people that weren't in the frat I was in... so no, it's not a big deal, at least it doesn't have to be.

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358971816' post='2112087']

I've had somewhat of a difficulty making friends here. I have some close friends but rarely get to see them. How did you make your life long friends and get your fair share of ladies? It seems like the only way to do this at the university I attend is to go Greek.
[/quote]


Honestly many of them were from the same home town as me and we all had apartments close by.

Maybe get a job working at a bar or some such. It will get you recognized and improve your ability to talk to people.

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[quote name='nc_biscuit' timestamp='1358971911' post='2112091']
Where do you go to school?

I was in a frat and made some great, life long friends... but I also have the same from people that weren't in the frat I was in... so no, it's not a big deal, at least it doesn't have to be.
[/quote]

University of Tennessee, which is very heavily Greek. It almost seems like it's either join a fraternity or sorority or have no life.

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358971816' post='2112087']

I've had somewhat of a difficulty making friends here. I have some close friends but rarely get to see them. How did you make your life long friends and get your fair share of ladies? It seems like the only way to do this at the university I attend is to go Greek.
[/quote]


Hang out in the student union with a sign that says:

FRIENDS NEEDED
I'LL PAY YOU IF NECESSARY BUT WOULD PREFER TO NOT HAVE TO.
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[quote name='Kurb' timestamp='1358971971' post='2112094']


Honestly many of them were from the same home town as me and we all had apartments close by.

Maybe get a job working at a bar or some such. It will get you recognized and improve your ability to talk to people.
[/quote]

I do start work Friday at the campus Papa John's as a delivery driver, so I have that going for me. I don't know if I'll get positively recognized as the pizza guy but at least it's something.

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358971209' post='2112070']
This past week was spring rush for my college and I was certain that I was going to get a bid from a particular fraternity only to find out that they didn't want me. I know it's not a huge deal, but I really liked them and thought that I'd fit in well with them. [size=4]I didn't really rush any other fraternities so I ultimately did not receive any bids. [/size][size=4]I feel pretty down right now and expressing my thoughts here has helped me in the past, so here I am.[/size]

Thoughts? Is it even that big of a deal?
[/quote]




Well, it depends. I know here at UNCP, most of the hot girls in sororities ONLY go for frat guys, which sucks. Having said that, there are hot chicks who aren't in any sorority. Parties are usually easy to get into regardless. I went to plenty of frat parties last year (before the one I always went to were disbanded due to that party house having a ton of weed during a police search one night).

Honestly, I'd say you are fine. Go out and have fun and know that you're not surrounded with "friends" that you had to pay to get (frat guys generally don't socialize much outside of the frat...almost cult-like, really). Not a big deal. At least you're not out a couple hundred bucks just to claim a frat. Not to mention the inevitable hazing that would take place.

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358972063' post='2112097']


University of Tennessee, which is very heavily Greek. It almost seems like it's either join a fraternity or sorority or have no life.
[/quote]

I assume you're a freshman? Don't sweat this man... you'll meet a ton of people otherwise... join some clubs, go to the gym, find something you're interested in and there's bound to be a ton of others there just like you.

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My son just got into Sigma Phi Epsilon and moved into the house a couple weeks ago. He was nervous about telling me that he was going to rush a frat but when he finally told me and explain how important it was to him I was totally behind him. He said he never wanted anything more in his life so I can understand your disappointment to an extent.

Sorry to hear you didn't get in...but like Kurb said, you can enjoy the college experience without it and sometimes missed opportunities are the best opportunities in the long run.Use it to motivate you to bigger and better things. Hell, at least you are saving money. What my son should have been nervous about telling me wasn't that he was going to rush but that it was going to cost me an extra $900 a semester!!!!! Of course he told me after the fact. Sneaky little bastard...Use the money you would spend at the frat and do something more productive with it. Best of luck to you.

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1. Go to college at the beach with 67% females.
2. Wander to every party you feel like going to.
3. ??????
4. Profit.
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Like others said, its not a big deal. There are plenty of ways to make friends as long as you're willing to get out of your room and go do things. Go play basketball, join a club, find a good smoke spot, you'll meet people

The sorostitutes are overrated anyways, most are boring and just looking to get that MRS degree

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Athletic clubs are actually a great way to meet folks.

Did no one you knew go to UT as well?


Im sure you could find tons of social clubs that are interested in the same things you.

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[quote name='Scrumtrilescent' timestamp='1358972464' post='2112107']
1. Go to college at the beach with 67% females.
2. Wander to every party you feel like going to.
3. ??????
4. Profit.
[/quote]collage of charleston? If you don't get laid by a hottie there you are gay!

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If you cannot score some tail at UT...you're doing something wrong :)

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Tooths optional.

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I grew up in a college town. Trust me when I say that being a part of a fraternity is not required to be able to enjoy the college party/social scene.

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[quote name='Scrumtrilescent' timestamp='1358973420' post='2112133']
Tooths optional.
[/quote]

Teeths. Who needs em.

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[quote name='Mrs Pantherfan' timestamp='1358973376' post='2112132']
If you cannot score some tail at UT...you're doing something wrong :)
[/quote]

I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358973948' post='2112145']
I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.
[/quote]

I know what you mean..good luck to you..please don't let it bother you too much...there are plenty of people out there

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358973948' post='2112145']
I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.
[/quote]


Then do that.
You don't need a title or be a member of something.
Do you want to determine who you are or do you want someone else to do it ?

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[quote name='TNPanther' timestamp='1358973948' post='2112145']
I mean I've gotten laid quite a few times, but that's not what I'm in it for. I just want to feel like I'm a part of and belong to something. I want to establish an identity for myself.
[/quote]

Focus on your education, the identity that you build through it eventually will far outweigh any social identity that a fraternity will provide. Enjoy college life and party to your hearts content, but make college what college is supposed to be about - your education pursuant to a better life for yourself.

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