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32,175 Fuggin Awesome

About PhillyB

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  • Birthday 08/30/1985

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  • Gender Male
  • Location third spur east of the sun
  • Interests 19th century nautical literature


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  • Twitter Handle pablattenberger

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  1. that's why you get absorbent ass gaskets, but not the kind that defrag when they get wet
  2. yeah i know, you're just the curious mustache-curling bystander releasing deep philosophical sighs about humanity and the great irony that BOTH SIDES HAVE EGG ON THEIR FACE HAHAHAH
  3. ...or risk losing 900 million dollars in federal funding for the state's education system. unsurprisingly, the overwhelming sentiment on this is WE DON'T NEED NO EDUCATION ANYWAY SUCK IT LIBS
  4. lol this should be an article from the onion, but nope, in south carolina (surprise) at a school board meeting showed up to get angry about transgender students using the bathroom like regular human beings (as we know, alabama has recently paved the way for progressive treatment of this issue by banning all trans people from public bathroom use, period) and one a lone dissenter stood up and began explaining that transgender people shouldn't be lumped in with rapists and pedophiles, and began explaining the physiology behind being transgender, 499 other parents' response were to spontaneously bust into a fuging sunday school hymn for children. holy fuging poo is this real life?
  5. Ted Cruz drops out. Let the pun wars begin.

    i guess god is a loser or he didn't really want ted to run
  6. you're missing the point, which is that a good guy with a gun doesn't always stop the bad guy, and that this is the kind of carnage that results from the manifestation of that philosophy. not that you care
  7. they write the scripts tho INT. DESK SURROUNDED BY CURLING CIGAR SMOKE AND 19TH CENTURY NAVIGATIONAL AESTHETIC FADE IN: Josh Norman leans forward in chair. JOSH (quietly) When Odell and I went at one another last year, people got mad. Imagine that. People who watch this sport every Sunday and say they love it actually pretended to be offended. They don’t see the beauty in it. They don’t see the truth. Josh takes puff of cigar, exhales slowly. CAMERA TRACKING FORWARD, SLOW ZOOM TOWARDS JOSH'S FACE JOSH The guy lining up across from me, he knows the truth. There are a lot of people who watch this game, or who are paid to commentate on it, who might not understand the true reality. They might get offended. (pausing) They might think we're animals. MACRO SHOT OF CIGAR FROM THE SIDE, EMBERS GLOWING AS JOSH INHALES, DETAIL SMOKE EXHALE. SHOT FOLLOWS SMOKE WAFT AS JOSH CONTINUES: JOSH (contemplatively) But Odell and I, we know the truth. Anybody who makes it to this level knows it. The truth is that on the football field... BACK TO JOSH'S FACE, ZOOMED IN FULLY. JOSH (Morgan Freeman smile) ...He’s trying to steal my bologna, and I’m trying to steal his. CUT TO: INT. GETTLEMAN JACKING HIS MEAT.
  8. that really sucks and all but i'm down for changing nothing if it infringes on my anachronistic 18th century right to stop a fire team of obama troops with my 30-06 or shoot milwaulkee's best cans on the upper forty with pawpaw on sundays
  9. Selective use of logic: Guns and Bathrooms.

    OP has committed a fallacy but idk if it's really confirmation bias
  10. Garrett > Funchess?

    rivera should demote olsen and dickson so we can have Simonson and GarFunKel
  11. Rookie Camp - Need your input

    i am most interested in the cornerback battle, both in rookie camp and training camp. more than any other position i think the outcome will affect how we look as a team.
  12. chills, man also this is panthers related because he also said this: i'm going to miss the poo out of josh norman. he was the realest dude and except for a certain monday night football game i hope he has a stellar season. our crop of rookies have some really big shoes to fill out there.