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Have you ever had a good friend cut off all communication with you?


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#1 hepcat

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 12:36 PM

I'm dealing with a bizarre situation with an old high school friend of mine right now.  Let's call him Brad.  Brad was neighbors with another good friend I went to school with and we in turn became good friends as well.  We were a trio, always went everywhere together, until we all graduated.  He came up to visit me in Asheville a number of times and even lived with me for a summer.  We've stayed in contact over the years even after I moved to Texas.  The occasional phone call and facebook chat.  I had a trip to NC planned this past weekend.  I texted Brad when I planned the trip in March so we could meet up and he responded simply "YES!".  This is where it gets weird...

 

Leading up to the trip I got in touch with several other old friends I wanted to see to get a group together to hang and reminisce.  Pretty good response overall and seemed like it was going to be a fun trip.  About a week before the trip I text Brad telling him I'm getting some of the old crew together. No response.  So the day before I'm supposed to go to Charlotte I send him a message on facebook telling him where we're all meeting since I got no response from his phone, I assume maybe he lost it or got a new number or something.  The next day I check to see if he read the message and his profile doesn't even show up.  He must have blocked me.  I asked some of my old friends if they'd seen him recently and they said no, but that they'd talked to him and were surprised he didn't make it out.

 

I was really looking forward to seeing him and I'm really confused why someone would just completely cut off all communication without even saying why?  I'm wondering if something has happened to him and I've asked my friends to try and contact him to find out but no one has gotten back to me about it.  Wondering if they did hear something and I won't like the answer.  It's just really odd.  

 

Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this?  



#2 thefuzz

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 01:34 PM

Sleeping with your ex.



#3 hepcat

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:19 PM

Sleeping with your ex.

 

Hah if only it were that simple.  She's never even met him!



#4 Sapper

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:31 PM

That's weird.  Are you close enough with his parents/siblings that you may be able to ask them what's going on?



#5 Frash Brastard

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:40 PM

Brad Mills?

#6 Arroz con Panther

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:42 PM

Just a thought, but what does your past history with him look like?  Is there something that his significant other found out and isn't too happy about so she told him to stop all communication?  Very unlikely, but you never know.



#7 Captroop

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:54 PM

Yeah, my best friend actually.

 

We seriously hung out all the freakin time after we graduated college. Like 5 nights a week for at least 3 years. Then he started drinking. Then he started drinking heavily. Occasionally, at parties he would get drunk to the point of passing out. He and my other buddies would come over, and where he used to bring a 12 pack to split, he started bringing one for himself. Still, when he was sober he was awesome. We played baseball together and used to go to the gym together, video games, the usual 22-year-old guy stuff. But the drinking kept getting worse, to the point that every time he came over to my house he would pass out drunk.

 

My other buddies and I tried to give him an intervention. Told him we were concerned about his drinking, but he brushed it off. Finally, one night he got pulled over for a DUI while we were all in the car (good thing too, as he was flaming poo wreck drunk, and we were heading for the freeway when we got pulled over). I ended up driving his car home when he got taken to jail. His pops bailed him out the next day, and he swung by at some point to pick up his car (I left the keys on the tire; it's the burbs). I didn't hear from him for a few days, which I expected was punishment from his family. I think we talked a couple times after that. Again, I think I texted him that we were concerned and though he should go to AA. But then communications got less frequent. We ended up at the same party, which he didn't even tell me he was attending, and that was more than a little awkward. And finally he stopped taking my calls or returning my texts altogether.

 

We met months later at a friends' house, and I asked if we were cool, he said yes, but he still never returned my calls or texts. I have no idea what finally led him to cut me off. Maybe he blamed us for his DUI (his dad the Public Defender got him off with a slap on the wrist). Maybe his parents forbade him from hanging out with us because we were a bad influence. Maybe given the choice between alcohol and his friends who were constantly pressuring him to quit drinking, he chose the hooch. I never knew.

 

But it sucked.



#8 hepcat

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 02:57 PM

That's weird.  Are you close enough with his parents/siblings that you may be able to ask them what's going on?

 

I know his parents but I haven't spoken to them in years.  I don't have their contact info.  He doesn't have any other siblings...I'm hoping one of my friends that sees him from time to time can give me some information 



#9 4Corners

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 05:51 PM

I've had to do it a few times. Some with some old friends and some with ex girlfriends. I had my reasons. You get older your circle of "friends" shrinks big time. 



#10 hepcat

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 06:19 PM

Just a thought, but what does your past history with him look like?  Is there something that his significant other found out and isn't too happy about so she told him to stop all communication?  Very unlikely, but you never know.

 

He does have a baby with his fiance, but this happened last year and I called him to congratulate him.  Everything was normal.  He's not one to just completely cut me off for no reason.  It's really confusing.



#11 Doyle

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 06:32 PM

I've cut people off but it was always due to drug abuse.  I don't have a problem with people doing drugs in general until it consumes their lives.



#12 beach

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 07:44 PM

I tend to just grow out of certain circles.  I'll try not to be a dick about it, but yeah it happens.

 



#13 4Corners

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 08:20 PM

I tend to just grow out of certain circles.  I'll try not to be a dick about it, but yeah it happens.

 

ditto. I can't drink beers every night and stay up till 4am on the weekends. can't do it. I usually go hard during the weekends but I have friends/buddies who are 5-10 years older than I am and go really hard. I just can't do it man. It kills my body and I feel like poo until Tuesday.  



#14 beach

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 08:21 PM

ditto. I can't drink beers every night and stay up till 4am on the weekends. can't do it. I usually go hard during the weekends but I have friends/buddies who are 5-10 years older than I am and go really hard. I just can't do it man. It kills my body and I feel like poo until Tuesday.  

 

Same boat here.  I got a lot of college buds who go like they're still in school and I can't do that sh*t anymore haha

 

Still do good weekends and concerts during the week but nothing too crazy.  



#15 SOJA

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Posted 05 June 2014 - 08:28 PM

just saw a thread on reddit like this did you start it?




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