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SCP

Cargo shorts

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When I met my wife, I was probably wearing carpenter jeans and a faded glory t shirt.

 

In other words, it was definitely my personality.

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My shorts have always had a slight bulge. I always just assumed that's what got the girl, the fact that you could still make it out through a solid layer of gabardine.

There's only 1 pocket that gets the girls. The one with your wallet. Unless of course that bulge isn't from money but instead from receipts and random nonsense. If that's the case, you may also be wearing black socks and sandals.

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If you don't have extra pockets where do you put your phone, keys, wallet, skoal, pocket knife, and the napkin the waitress just gave you with her number on it? 

 

in his crotch, tons of room in there

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you guys say "black socks with sandals" like white socks with sandals are okay.

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you were Favorited by a mannequin and someone one that apparently looks like one

And yet more female attention than you have had in a decade.

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I guess I missed something. Didn't realize cargo shorts were bad....?

 

 

Probably because you aren't a 21 year old frat boy who thinks his choice of short is what gives him an edge with the ladies. :)

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