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frash.exe

Yelling at inanimate objects

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Something that made me crack up later on today. This morning I was driving, and tried to get my iPod touch to shuffle before I got out of the gas station. Of course the thing decides that I could touch the shuffle command as many times as I want but it won't follow through, and so I just blurt out "F**KING SHUFFLE, COCKSUCKER!" while mashing the command with my thumb.

I wonder if anybody else does the same thing to an equal degree or if I'm just out of my fuging mind.

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I scream at them until they become animate. My remote control left me a voicemail that I was an asshole and it was moving in with the guy down the street who lost his thumbs in a horrible plumbing accident.

Remotes are such bitches.

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The similar thing I find myself doing is yelling at other drivers, or saying something in a normal tone towards them... as if they could hear me...

Inanimate objects, sometimes... especially when I am trying to fix something (I remember cursing out the lawnmower as I was putting it back together)...

But hey, what do you expect? I am Samuel L. Jackson afterall... motherfuger!

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If my golf clubs somehow could learn to speak, they would only be able to speak in southern sounding curse words. For that is all I have taught them since their infant years. Those cocks*cking bastard sh*t sticks!

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