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Hypothetically....

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Let’s say you got your penis stuck in a Lipton Ice tea bottle, how would you get it out? seriously hurry!

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Blow torch or bolt cutters. You would probably be ok with some safety scissors.

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goatse

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ummmm....ummmmmm.........scissors

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Who drinks Lipton Iced Tea in a bottle? Ew.

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Think about Hayden Panettiere.

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lemon party

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Who drinks Lipton Iced Tea in a bottle? Ew.

I don't think he was drinking it...

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Think about this bottle...

pom-wonderful-1950.jpg

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Pom juice is teh good.

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Think about Hayden Panettiere.

cant

stop

laughing

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OK its been a rather long day….hypothetically. So hypothetically, I tried the warm water but that felt pretty good and didn’t really help the situation. Then I tried the cold water and ice. Strangely that made everything feel a lot tighter and more stuck. I was able to stick a coffee straw into the bottle to try and release the pressure . but I think it must have just gotten squashed allowing no air to get in. I was going to go to the hospital but my wife said I could probably score the bottom of the bottle with a nail then try and break the end off with a hammer. she was wrong…hypothetically of course I scratched at the bottle with the nail but it didn’t really do anything. So I wrapped it with a towel and started tapping on the nail with the hammer until it broke the bottle which of course shattered instead of giving a clean break. I think I should have tried to drain more of the Ice Tea out first, the pressure is probably why it shattered I got a little cut but not bad. BUT the worst part is the bottle didn’t break all the way. The neck of the bottle is still intact. So I pretty much am back where I was cept now instead of a little penis aquarium I have a sharp penis collar. I think its time for the hospital…..hypothetically

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