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If you believe events in the Bible are accounts of historical accuracy, then...


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#1 Samuel L. Jackson

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 11:07 AM

...you believe in zombies...

The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.


Hope everyone has a safe/happy holiday weekend... and remember to stockpile your ammo...

#2 Kral

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 11:09 AM

Easter is now Zombie Day!

#3 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 11:54 AM

Man. When are ninja's gonna get their fair due in the Bibles?

#4 Samuel L. Jackson

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 11:59 AM

Man. When are ninja's gonna get their fair due in the Bibles?


When the rapture happens... duh...

For you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.


Sounds like ninjas to me...

#5 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:03 PM

Did the bible zombies eat people?

#6 Jangler

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:05 PM

only the bad ones.

#7 bredy087

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:06 PM

Sounds like ninjas to me...


:smilielol5:

#8 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:06 PM

When the rapture happens... duh...



Sounds like ninjas to me...


You cannot have zombies without ninjas. That would be a violation of the fair and balanced doctrine.

I see even God knows the rules.

#9 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:06 PM

Kurb is the resident zombie expert, where's he at when you need him?

#10 Samuel L. Jackson

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:07 PM

I dunno.. I think that part was lost in translation, or intentionally left blank... One can only assume that they did, as we all know how those zombies can be...

#11 Starscream

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:08 PM

There are many historical accuracies in the Bible. The Exodus from Egypt, the Babylonian and Assyrian assaults are pretty much considered to be historically accurate. The miraculous events that took place are all up to one's interpretation, but many many things are accurate in the Bible.

But I agree with you on your quote, SLJ. :)

Happy Holidays all!

#12 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:10 PM

Like talking snakes and bushes.

#13 Cat

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:36 PM

There are also mediums you can use to talk to dead people, in the Bible.



There are many historical accuracies in the Bible. The Exodus from Egypt, the Babylonian and Assyrian assaults are pretty much considered to be historically accurate. The miraculous events that took place are all up to one's interpretation, but many many things are accurate in the Bible.

But I agree with you on your quote, SLJ. :)

Happy Holidays all!



The Exodus from Egypt likely never happened. Archaeological evidence doesn't support it. There are no records of it by the Egyptians. Also the language of slaves is always effected and their language would reflect a mixture of Hebrew and Egyptian. But Hebrew does not. It is a "western semetic language without any grammatical borrowing from the Hamitic Egyptian language".

Even most Jewish rabbi's acknowledge it was a mythical story.

archaeological excavations do not support the Biblical Exodus story. Modern archaeological techniques are able to detect evidence of not only permanent settlements, but also of habitations of hunter-gatherers and pastoral nomads all over the world as far back as the third millennium B.C. However, there are no finds of a unique religious community living in a distinct area of the eastern delta of the Nile River (“Land of Goshen”) as described in Genesis. In addition, repeated excavations of areas corresponding to Kadesh-Barnea, where the Biblical Israelites lived for thirty-eight of their forty-eight years of wanderings, have revealed no evidence of any encampments. Finkelstein and Silberman point out that, although the sites mentioned in the Exodus story are real, archaeological excavations indicate that they were unoccupied when the Biblical Exodus would have taken place. For example, the Bible refers to messengers sent by Moses from Kadesh-Barnea to the king of Edom asking him to allow the Hebrews to pass through his land. However, the nation of Edom did not come into existence until the 7th century B.C. 9 Melvin Konner, anthropologist and teacher of Jewish studies at Emory University, sums it up this way in his recent book Unsettled, An Anthropology of the Jews: “Except for the Torah text, there is no decisive proof that the Hebrews were slaves in Egypt, that they rebelled and walked away from the place, or that a leader such as Moses arose and took that people into the desert.” 10 Futhermore, what evidence we do have, as discussed above, contradicts the Biblical account.



Israel Finkelstein is an Israeli archaeologist who wrote an easy read on this a while back called the Bible Unearthed.

Edited by Cat, 31 March 2010 - 12:38 PM.


#14 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:39 PM

You're a turd in the punchbowl, Cat.

#15 The Saltman

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Posted 31 March 2010 - 12:40 PM




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