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Need tips for triggering labor in female human


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#1 TheSaint

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 04:47 PM

..specifically my wife.

Sex didnt work. Baby moved up under wife's ribcage trying to get away.

#2 Hawk

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 04:51 PM

rent a jeep and take her offroading somewhere nice and bumpy.

if that doesn't work....tell her sex...over and over and over again will work for sure!!!!

#3 TheSaint

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 04:54 PM

rent a jeep and take her offroading somewhere nice and bumpy.

if that doesn't work....tell her sex...over and over and over again will work for sure!!!!


i did suggest a trip to the mountains tomorrow for the day...maybe the change in altitude will do something...

the sex thing creeps me out to be honest.

#4 Hawk

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 04:58 PM

well...call in a substitute then!!!!

#5 TheSaint

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:04 PM

well...call in a substitute then!!!!


Im not that wealthy

#6 Hawk

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:07 PM

well...unless she's in fricken labor...you ain't gonna hurt that baby by giving her a good screwin...so do your duty and get on that!

#7 Jangler

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:09 PM

Donkey Punch

#8 88 Bronco

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:22 PM

Posted Image

#9 Skew

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:22 PM

Female kangaroos I know what to do,
female humans, not so much.

#10 beach

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:32 PM

That must be one crazy ugly biatch if you can't even hit it :) jk

#11 Cuttinedge

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 05:33 PM

Give her the porking of her life tonight and put her on the lawn mower tomorrow morning. Baby by Sunday morning.

#12 mmmbeans

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 07:28 PM

spicy food, sex, sex, sex, yoga.

#13 ItsNotGonnaBeAlright

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 10:01 PM

According to my wife, who is studying maternity information religiously at the moment, constant nipple stimulation seems to work well.

#14 bleys

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 11:03 PM

rent a jeep and take her offroading somewhere nice and bumpy.

if that doesn't work....tell her sex...over and over and over again will work for sure!!!!


I would skip the 1st idea, and continue on with the 2nd... most likely the best idea you'll find...

and when you are too tired, you may attempt offroading.. however, you may be a little tired from the hard work you've been putting in for the betterment of your family..

continue on... more sex:

so now, we have concluded that you are trying to eat healthier (pun intended), exercise more so your baby will have a father throughout the first quarter to half century of his life, and also, that more exercise will make you a stronger man to protect his family...

I think we've settled that more sex is better for the entire family and that your wife should take one for the betterment of your household..

you may bill me anytime...

#15 Jackofalltrades

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 12:02 AM

Unless you have Pitocin around you're pretty stuck with sex and remaining upright so gravity can do it's thing.

My wife has actually done a study on this, back in nursing school. Spicy food does have some merit,


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