Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Terrified Matt Moore Audibles After Allegedly Seeing Monster In Defense

36 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post

http://www.theonion.com/articles/terrified-matt-moore-audibles-after-allegedly-seei,18411/

CHARLOTTE, NC—Early in the third quarter of last Sunday's game against the Saints, Carolina Panthers quarterback Matt Moore saw something terrifying and inhuman in the defense and called an audible, the visibly shaken quarterback later confirmed. "I didn't like what I saw out there, because, I swear to God, this thing had huge claws and fangs," said Moore, who frantically ran up and down the line of scrimmage pointing and screaming, warning his teammates about the ghoulish beast, and yelling "blue 32 falcon." "If I didn't change the play, then that thing—whatever the hell it was—would have killed [running back] Jonathan [stewart], because it was right in perfect position to rip him to shreds." Moore, who changed the play from a toss right to a quick slant, was hit on the blind side and sacked for an eight-yard loss by a yeti

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

At least they can spell ghoulish.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Too bad he was knocked out in the 2nd. The Onion usually makes it believable enough till the punchline... Humor fail.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Was it Vilma?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

ROFL! That's freakin' awesome!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

This story if from the Onion. It is a fake news site.

People who seem to buy into all the stories are the same people who read stories on the web like Luck from Stanford is the next sure guy to light up the NFL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

There was a good one on Delhomme a couple of years ago. I love The Onion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

Oh wow thanks for clearing that up David duke

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

The Onion is fake? OMG, really? All this time... sh*t.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

White Power!!! right Dukie?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted · Report post

LOL IDK what we would've done had it not been for David Duke. I bet War of the Worlds was a hit at the Duke house, much like minorities.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites