I'm thinking of printing some up and taping them to the door. Here's my list. Let me know if I left anything out:
- No foil wrappers. The fact that I even have to bring this up is mind-boggling. And no styrofoam either.
- No leftover fish. Fish in pre-packaged frozen meals is okay. The trout from last Tuesday is not. Not only does it smell up the entire floor, but now my ham pizza tastes like is washed up in the Chesapeake Bay.
- No line jumping. This is debateable (if the microwave is empty it's fair game), but I think common courtesy should prevail here. If you see someone standing next to the microwave punching holes in the lid of their frozen meal, that's not an excuse for you to shoot in your cup o' noodle and hold the other person up.
- And most importantly, Unclaimed food has a two minute grace period to be picked up. That's it. I understand you want to multitask while you're food is heating, but damn it the rest of us want to eat too! You know how long you set the timer for. I'll wait two minutes after the buzzer goes in good faith. After that, the microwave shall be considered in an empty state. That means you have lost the right to:
- Ownership of the microwave. Back of the line jackass.
- Complete the microwave instructions. But it says stir then heat for an additional 3 minutes? Sorry chief. If you had additional steps you should have stuck around.
- Give me a dirty look when you find me using the microwave and see your food cooling on the counter.
