White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars
Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.
That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them.
Perhaps this all sounds fantastical, absurd, and more than a little nuts. We couldn’t agree more. That’s one of the reasons we love conspiracy theories — the more awesomely insane, the better. Each week during 2012, when the Mayans tell us to expect the apocalypse, Danger Room will peel back a new layer of crazy to expose those oh-so-cleverly hidden machinations powering this doomed plane of existence. Welcome — back — to Tinfoil Tuesday.
According to Basiago and Stillings, Obama isn’t just lying about his identity. He’s lying about his military service record, too. While his political opponents in 2008 attacked him for never serving, in truth, he was concealing his participation in a hidden CIA intergalactic program hosted at a California community college in 1980.
Officially, the White House says Obama never went to Mars. “Only if you count watching Marvin the Martian,” Tommy Vietor, the spokesman for the National Security Council, tells Danger Room. But that’s exactly what a secret chrononaut wants you to believe.
Obama wasn’t the only one making the otherworldly voyage. As “Barry Soetero,” the 19-year-old Obama was one of 10 youths selected to secretly teleport to and from Mars, forming a band of interplanetary Teen Titans. Regina Dugan, the director of Darpa, was another member.
Between 1981 and 1983, Obama is supposed to have visited Mars twice, by way of a teleportation chamber called a “jump room.” Basiago, a fellow chrononaut, told the website Exopolitics that he saw Obama “walk back to the jump room from across the Martian terrain.” To acknowledge his comrade, Obama is said to have told Basiago, “We’re here” — apparently, “with some sense of fatalism.”
It is not known what exactly Obama did on Mars. (Socializing Martian health care, perhaps? Building a birth-certificate printing press?) His mission was a perilous one, according to Basiago and Stillings. The CIA wished to “establish a defense regime protecting the Earth from threats from space” as well as a legal claim to “territorial sovereignty,” making Obama something of a Martian conquistador. Presumably, Obama’s CIA handlers needed him to “acclimate Martian humanoids and animals to their presence” in order to secure the U.S.-Martian alliance. (We’ll bet you weren’t even aware of Martian animals.)
“Simply put, your task is to be seen and not eaten,” an elder chrononaut, retired Army Maj. Ed Dames, is alleged to have told a young Obama.
You can scoff at the idea of Obama on Mars. But it explains a lot. Obviously the birth-certificate controversy is a side effect of Obama forgetting to sufficiently establish his fake identity as he learned to manipulate time and space. (Dugan has a demonstrated record of supporting space travel; the “jump room” must be broken.) And who else but a man accustomed to keeping the country’s most explosive secret would be comfortable waging so many undeclared wars? Ignore Basiago and Stillings at your own peril. If Obama’s reelected, the U.S. is finally colonizing Mars.
and the other...
Conspiracy Theory: Obama Went to Mars as Teen
By Jason Major
Forget 2012 prophecies, Mayan calendars and lurking planets that go only by the name "X" … there’s an even kookier conspiracy theory in town, and it has to do with our nation’s fearless leader and his teenage teleportation adventures on Mars.
Yes, you read that right.
It seems that two government employees and self-professed time-travelers — er, "chrononauts" — Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings have come forth and named President Obama as one of their own, along with the current head of DARPA, Regina Dugan.
(DARPA, if you don’t know, is the agency responsible for keeping U.S. defense up-t0-date with advancements in technology. Begun as a response to the Sputnik program in the late 50s, DARPA finds ways to integrate cutting-edge tech developments into stuff the military might want.)
Basiago, a Washington state lawyer, says that he was part of a time travel program developed by DARPA in the 1970s code-named Project Pegasus. He and Stillings claim that both Obama and Dugan were in their "Mars training class" at California’s College of the Siskiyous in 1980, part of a group of 10 young adults chosen to travel to Mars via a top-secret teleportation "jump room."
They also claim that the then-19-year-old Barack Obama went by the name “Barry Soetero”.
But wait, there’s more.
The two former chrononauts also said that they encountered the future president at secret U.S. bases on Mars, which he is said to have visited twice between the years 1981 and 1983. On one instance Basiago said he even exchanged words with Ob — uh, Soetero — en route to the “jump room” while on Mars.
"We’re here," Basiago claims the young president-to-be said to him.
And the supposed reason for the secret teen task force’s Red Planet expedition? To “acclimate Martian humanoids and animals to their presence,” according to Basiago.
You know, to make good with the locals so there’d be no trouble when setting up camp.
White House officials have denied all allegations of the President’s Martian travels, or the existence of a Mars training class. But, of course, they would.
And you thought the whole birther thing was a bit extreme? Wake up sheeple, this is some real crazy here. Chrononaut style.
Anyways, I know i'll get flamed by the neanderthals who think this kind of stuff is merely science fiction...however this technology is very real. With info like this surfacing, I could see why the establishment has tried their absolute best to keep a very tight lid on Barry Soetoro's backround. All in all, this is an interesting read on a very real possibility. Welcome to the future my friends. Enjoy!
Edited by venom, 05 January 2012 - 08:59 PM.