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Rules that guys wish girls knew...


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#1 Shufdog

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 02:08 AM

Let me tell you, these are all true.
Women, pay attention, especially to #1.

1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

3. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then, you are stuck with her.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to; expect an answer you do not want to hear.

6. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and NASCAR.

8. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides....Let it be.

9. Shopping is not a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

10. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

11. Crying is blackmail.

12. Your ex-boyfriend is an idiot.

13. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!

14. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

15. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

16. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

17. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is
what your girlfriends are for.

20. Check your oil. Please.

21. DO NOT fake it. We would rather be ineffective than deceived.

23. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

24. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

25. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

26. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

27. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

28. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get
over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends like THEIR relationship is SO MUCH better.

29. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit,
not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.

30. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

31. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind- reading ability is not proof of
how little we care about you.

32. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

#2 Dex

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 02:27 AM

33. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
34. The red light means the video camera is off.
35. Sometimes video games or anything related to :cam: take priority over sex.

Edited by SexBeerVideoGames, 10 February 2012 - 02:31 AM.


#3 SteveSmithOwns

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 02:46 AM

#3 and 15.....so true....

#4 Panthro

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 07:11 AM

I own a lot of shoes

#5 Davidson Deac II

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 07:41 AM

I own at least 8 of pairs of shoes, primarily because I haven't gotten around to throwing away the old sneakers. :)

#6 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:22 AM

That is the most assholish list I've ever seen...you think you're better than we are....are women your fuging servants?? Because if not, it sure as fug sounds like that's how you perceive us

If I wanna cut my hair, I'm gonna cut my f*cking hair..get the f*ck over it..you're not the one drying it, styling it and straightening it

# 8..I watch just as many sports as my husband does...so there

Edited by Mrs Pantherfan, 10 February 2012 - 08:25 AM.


#7 Inimicus

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:33 AM

Posted Image

#8 cookinwithgas

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:37 AM

Haha out of all the stuff there it's the hair thats the biggest deal

And I think the point was - Don't ask us if you should cut your hair because the answer is no, we don't think you should.

#9 Irv

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:45 AM

That is the most assholish list I've ever seen...you think you're better than we are....are women your fuging servants?? Because if not, it sure as fug sounds like that's how you perceive us

If I wanna cut my hair, I'm gonna cut my f*cking hair..get the f*ck over it..you're not the one drying it, styling it and straightening it

# 8..I watch just as many sports as my husband does...so there


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#10 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:52 AM

Haha out of all the stuff there it's the hair thats the biggest deal

And I think the point was - Don't ask us if you should cut your hair because the answer is no, we don't think you should.


I don't ask because he's not my boss...I do it because I want to

the reason this bugs me so much is b/c I have friends whose husbands are idiots like that...they would freak should they cut their hair...it's not ya'lls hair!!

#11 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:06 AM

I don't ask because he's not my boss...I do it because I want to

the reason this bugs me so much is b/c I have friends whose husbands are idiots like that...they would freak should they cut their hair...it's not ya'lls hair!!


I agree that it's your hair but shouldn't we at least be able to have an opinion? I'm sure you would prefer that your husband not have a mullet...

#12 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:10 AM

haha this is true..but I would say for the most part..the average wife or gf isn't going to cut it into a dyke cut and dye it blue over night...usually it's just a length thing (hee hee)

MrPF really only cares about my boobs...should something happen to those I think he might have a heart attack :)

#13 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:13 AM

haha this is true..but I would say for the most part..the average wife or gf isn't going to cut it into a dyke cut and dye it blue over night...usually it's just a length thing (hee hee)


Some might... I generally prefer long hair as well... but it depends.

Always gotta go with the double entendres don't you... :ciappa:

#14 Panthro

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:16 AM

I like shorter hair. (like shoulder length)

#15 LifeisaGarden

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 09:17 AM

Men like long hair because of ponytails.

I've cut my hair short a few times during our marriage and all the times I did I asked if it would bother him if I did, all times he said "it's your hair, I don't care". I was gonna do what I wanted anyway. All the times I cut it he walked around with his ass on his shoulders for a couple weeks.
Over the last 10 or more years I've grown out my hair and donated it. It's now way past the point to where I could donate it again. It's reaches about halfway down my butt. It's really beginning to bother me because it's always in my way & it's difficult to look after. I'll be cutting it real soon but this time not as short.


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