I'm positively sure this is the most uninformed POS article, I've ever read
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:35 AM
I'm going back to trolling @adamschein twitter for that stupid cats in the cellar prediction.
At least he'll own it until after week 4.
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:38 AM
They aren't serious. They are doing one a day for every team
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:47 AM
Cortland Finnegan and Mario Williams were there to be had for a team that was a good defense away from playing in the postseason but fug it we need a 3RD fuging RUNNING BACK. For reasons unknown to anyone besides Jerry Richardson Mike Tolbert is now a Panther. If I didn't know any better Jerry Richardson is forcing Cam Newton into leaving for New England just because he wants to write him a hate letter in comic sans.
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:49 AM
Never before in history has a team gone into a draft or the offseason with their needs clearly defined and just completely and unabashedly ignored them. Now we must sit and pray for an entire season while no-name running backs curb stomp our defensive line. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, a gathering of goofball wide receivers will participate in the annual ritual of trying to save Steve Smith from getting gangbanged prison style by defensive back triple teams. As a frame of reference, Legedu Naanee was the lucky winner last year, and this year will most certainly involve overdrafted Armanti Edwards running routes drawn by a 3 year old with an Etch a Sketch.
All of this follows an offseason filled with reports of Panthers' staff being excited for undrafted free agents, as if finding the next Victor Cruz involves throwing a dart at a US map and scouting the nearest community college. Thankfully we picked up fat boy running back Mike Tolbert, because we certainly didn't have enough skill at the position. Finally, throw in the guaranteed slew of season ending injuries that will happen either during or before the first game, like Jon Beason, David Gettis, or perhaps Ron Edwards who tore his triceps while tying his shoes at the first practice last year, and this is why the Panthers suck.
That is amazing!
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:50 AM
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:57 AM
Posted 10 August 2012 - 11:58 AM
Posted 10 August 2012 - 12:01 PM
Very impressed with his Panther's acumen - Rivera's timeouts ftw! Seriously, this is sattire just as Roasts are sattire. It's well done and worth the read if you can handle it emotionally.
I was having trouble trying to describe why this was great. You captured it all right there.
Posted 10 August 2012 - 02:25 PM
Posted 10 August 2012 - 04:22 PM