36 replies to this topic

[SteelSix]

Shiite, Now that I clicked on it, I can't un-click it..

I'm going back to trolling @adamschein twitter for that stupid cats in the cellar prediction.
At least he'll own it until after week 4.
Good Times..

[PhillyB]

it's on deadspin so it has to be serious

[CRA]

They Atl one said he would kill Ryan if Atl wasted a playoff spot preventing him from seeing Cam in the post season.

They aren't serious. They are doing one a day for every team

[CPF4LIFE]

LMAO!!!

[csx]

This part is pretty funny:

Cortland Finnegan and Mario Williams were there to be had for a team that was a good defense away from playing in the postseason but fug it we need a 3RD fuging RUNNING BACK. For reasons unknown to anyone besides Jerry Richardson Mike Tolbert is now a Panther. If I didn't know any better Jerry Richardson is forcing Cam Newton into leaving for New England just because he wants to write him a hate letter in comic sans.

[Leeroy Jenkins PhD]

Never before in history has a team gone into a draft or the offseason with their needs clearly defined and just completely and unabashedly ignored them. Now we must sit and pray for an entire season while no-name running backs curb stomp our defensive line. Meanwhile, on the other side of the ball, a gathering of goofball wide receivers will participate in the annual ritual of trying to save Steve Smith from getting gangbanged prison style by defensive back triple teams. As a frame of reference, Legedu Naanee was the lucky winner last year, and this year will most certainly involve overdrafted Armanti Edwards running routes drawn by a 3 year old with an Etch a Sketch.

All of this follows an offseason filled with reports of Panthers' staff being excited for undrafted free agents, as if finding the next Victor Cruz involves throwing a dart at a US map and scouting the nearest community college. Thankfully we picked up fat boy running back Mike Tolbert, because we certainly didn't have enough skill at the position. Finally, throw in the guaranteed slew of season ending injuries that will happen either during or before the first game, like Jon Beason, David Gettis, or perhaps Ron Edwards who tore his triceps while tying his shoes at the first practice last year, and this is why the Panthers suck.

That is amazing!

[Cary Kollins]

Where are the gifs?

[CarolinaNCSU]

The part about RIvera calling the TO against the Saints* with 2 seconds left in the half hurt. I had almost blocked that out of my memory.

[Chaos]

The use of the word FUGING in the first paragraph should have been a clue that perhaps this isn't real journalism.

[Neylus]

Very impressed with his Panther's acumen - Rivera's timeouts ftw! Seriously, this is sattire just as Roasts are sattire. It's well done and worth the read if you can handle it emotionally.

[Leeroy Jenkins PhD]

Very impressed with his Panther's acumen - Rivera's timeouts ftw! Seriously, this is sattire just as Roasts are sattire. It's well done and worth the read if you can handle it emotionally.

I was having trouble trying to describe why this was great. You captured it all right there.

[Zod]

Loving the rage in this thread....

[Frizzy350]

HAHAHAH i thought it was hilarious!

[ItsNotGonnaBeAlright]

I genuinely think that the guy who wrote this joke article knows more about the Panthers than 90% of legit sports writers out there.

[Argus Plexus]

Haha I lol'd. At least you didn't get plastered to the wall by Bwood.