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so uh im having a kid


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#16 Sapper

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:41 PM

I first read that as 'my sunday wife' and thought you might have a wife for every day of the week.

Congrats, though!

#17 MadHatter

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:43 PM

i don't know the first fugin thing about kids. what the hell am i gonna do with a little poo machine?


The same thing that every other first time parent does with them....you figure it out as you go.

#18 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:47 PM

Look on the bright side... in 16.5 years or so, it'll be able to go to the store for you and run other errands and poo... like mine does now... :)

Congrats.

#19 Scrumtrilescent

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:48 PM

Learn to say this really fast:

Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!

#20 PhillyB

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:48 PM

i already made my first craving run to a grocery store for saltines and gingerale

fml

#21 MadHatter

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:50 PM

i already made my first craving run to a grocery store for saltines and gingerale

fml


that isn't a real craving....believe me, you ain't seen nothing yet.

If she is like my wife, you will be buying the strangest combinations of food at 2AM.

#22 Kurb

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:54 PM

that isn't a real craving....believe me, you ain't seen nothing yet.

If she is like my wife, you will be buying the strangest combinations of food at 2AM.



Mine had food aversions.

I couldn't cook food in the house for 2 months.

Sammichs....for 2 MONTHS EVER MEAL BAKAOBHCAHSFAFHA:JSDFKHAFHAHFD


and and



I '














I had to make them....

#23 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:55 PM

Learn to say this really fast:

Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!


I totally had to look that up :lol:
1. swiper no swiping 68 up, 29 down
the most retarded command ever. im sure most of you have already watched dora the exlorer so you know who the fox is. dora simply asks swiper nicely to stop whatever he is doing. which is total BS cuz that is swipers job!! like dora, i dont tell you to stop walking around on your giant acid trip!! like wtf?? *sigh* anyway,
kids, do not think this works in everyday life. if you ask a bad doer to stop what they are doing, chances are, it isnt going to work.
situation where "swiper no swiping" would not work

pedofile: come here little girl. im gonna give you what you need.

helpless girl: oh crap what do i do? oh thats right! dora taught me. raper no raping!!!

pedo: wtf? oh well. *procceds to rape*

#24 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:57 PM

Mine had food aversions.

I couldn't cook food in the house for 2 months.

Sammichs....for 2 MONTHS EVER MEAL BAKAOBHCAHSFAFHA:JSDFKHAFHAHFD


and and



I '














I had to make them....



all the while..she is growing A BABY INSIDE OF HER AND THEN SQUIRTS IT THRU HER VAGINAL CANAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGNOSAMMICHESFOR2MONTHZ!!!

:)

#25 MadHatter

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 12:59 PM

Mine had food aversions.

I couldn't cook food in the house for 2 months.



My wife went through about 3 weeks where she was craving peanut butter and pickle relish sandwiches. One of the nastiest tasting things ever created.

#26 Kurb

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 01:01 PM

all the while..she is growing A BABY INSIDE OF HER AND THEN SQUIRTS IT THRU THE VAGINAL CANAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMGNOSAMMICHESFOR2MONTHZ!!!

:)




Listen...

I suffered too...



PhillyB should get my wife to tell his wifey the low down on baby delivering.


That afternoon went something like this...


Call to Kurb from Wifey "Hey babe, I feel rough, I really gotta poop... owwwwwww Im having like poop pains" ME: "thats wonderful, I'll see you in an hour".

4 Hours later...

"IM READY FOR EPIDURAL I AM READY GIVE IT TO ME NOW"



4 Hours later


"TURN UP THE EPIDURAL TURN IT UP NOW"



4 Hours later


"HOLY fuging poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *ring of fire moment*
"Wahh wahhh wahhh"
"ohh ohh hey baby zac"

Me *thinks* I can never un-see that....

#27 PhillyB

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 01:01 PM

ugh

#28 Kurb

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 01:02 PM

My wife went through about 3 weeks where she was craving peanut butter and pickle relish sandwiches. One of the nastiest tasting things ever created.



Never had that stuff.
Was more of things that couldn't be in the house..smells of food and the like.

#29 Kurb

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 01:04 PM

ugh




It will be the best thing to ever happen to you.


and if its a girl I can introduce her to my son. :D
















Best advice I can give you.

Don't watch it come out. It will scar your brain.
Also get your wifey a kids inflatable floaty tube.

I will think of more later...

#30 Mrs Pantherfan

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Posted 27 September 2012 - 01:05 PM

Listen...

I suffered too...



PhillyB should get my wife to tell his wifey the low down on baby delivering.


That afternoon went something like this...


Call to Kurb from Wifey "Hey babe, I feel rough, I really gotta poop... owwwwwww Im having like poop pains" ME: "thats wonderful, I'll see you in an hour".

4 Hours later...

"IM READY FOR EPIDURAL I AM READY GIVE IT TO ME NOW"



4 Hours later


"TURN UP THE EPIDURAL TURN IT UP NOW"



4 Hours later


"HOLY fuging poo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *ring of fire moment*
"Wahh wahhh wahhh"
"ohh ohh hey baby zac"

Me *thinks* I can never un-see that....


HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH thanks for the laugh

were you down "there" watching Zac come into this world????

If my time ever comes, I've already told MrPF you do NOT go south of my waist...DO NOT LOOK DOWN THERE!


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