#3
Posted 01 October 2012 - 01:07 PM
#4
Posted 01 October 2012 - 01:35 PM
While I am confident that Beast Mode is not a dashing pirate looking to sail the high seas like our little resident fruity Buccaneer fans, I am less confident that he won't part our defense like Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea. The Falcons proved with their fat Waffle House scattered-smothered-covered loving running back that our defense is as potent as Alicejandra The Taint fan's attempts to get chicks on match.com. However, the one thing Beasts hate is corn and that's a proven fact. Luckily for my Panthers, we have our can of corn returning from his steroid induced suspension. Andre Nibletts is a combination of sweet corn and salty butter and is going to attach himself to Lynch like a corn kernel attaches itself to a post Thanksgiving turd. Thanks to the roids, The Nibletts is now up to an imposing 5'12" and 293 lbs. of Lynch pounding dominance. Russell Wilson's last memory of North Carolina was that of a pasty Irishman telling him he wasn't good enough for the mighty NC State. So off he ran to mingle with the fattest of fat Americans in Wisconsin. He won some games there against the garbage Big 15 foes and played well enough to earn the starting gig for Pete Carroll, who appears to suffer from turrets syndrome. Hopefully we can get our hands in the air because at 5'2", Russell will hopefully feel the heat of our undersized defense. However, there is a weakness that Russell might exploit. If he can find our small, slow, and white-ish ninja FS, Haruki Naka-gonna-maka-tackle, well it could be a long day for this Panthers D.
Seabirds.... your uniforms are an abomination, your city is too far from everything, and Starbucks coffee is pure crap. I will be there enduring that god awful florescent yellow bullshit jersey color to root my Panthers on to a victory. In the meantime, eat my poo 0-4 Saints fans.
#6
Posted 01 October 2012 - 01:59 PM
#7
Posted 01 October 2012 - 02:01 PM
#9
Posted 03 October 2012 - 04:30 PM
It's hard to confidently talk smack with a coaching staff that lets me down. Seehocks, our little feathered friends from the land of grunge rock, mildew, Starbucks, guys catching fish, and rain coats. I tried to google the image of a sea hawk and came out of it with a greater knowledge about a 1940 film where Geoffrey Thorpe is an adventurous and dashing pirate, who feels that he should pirate the Spanish ships for the good of England...bunch of bullshit if you ask me.
While I am confident that Beast Mode is not a dashing pirate looking to sail the high seas like our little resident fruity Buccaneer fans, I am less confident that he won't part our defense like Charlton Heston parted the Red Sea. The Falcons proved with their fat Waffle House scattered-smothered-covered loving running back that our defense is as potent as Alicejandra The Taint fan's attempts to get chicks on match.com. However, the one thing Beasts hate is corn and that's a proven fact. Luckily for my Panthers, we have our can of corn returning from his steroid induced suspension. Andre Nibletts is a combination of sweet corn and salty butter and is going to attach himself to Lynch like a corn kernel attaches itself to a post Thanksgiving turd. Thanks to the roids, The Nibletts is now up to an imposing 5'12" and 293 lbs. of Lynch pounding dominance. Russell Wilson's last memory of North Carolina was that of a pasty Irishman telling him he wasn't good enough for the mighty NC State. So off he ran to mingle with the fattest of fat Americans in Wisconsin. He won some games there against the garbage Big 15 foes and played well enough to earn the starting gig for Pete Carroll, who appears to suffer from turrets syndrome. Hopefully we can get our hands in the air because at 5'2", Russell will hopefully feel the heat of our undersized defense. However, there is a weakness that Russell might exploit. If he can find our small, slow, and white-ish ninja FS, Haruki Naka-gonna-maka-tackle, well it could be a long day for this Panthers D.
Seabirds.... your uniforms are an abomination, your city is too far from everything, and Starbucks coffee is pure crap. I will be there enduring that god awful florescent yellow bullshit jersey color to root my Panthers on to a victory. In the meantime, eat my poo 0-4 Saints fans.
SWEET JESUS
How does a human being harness this much hatred?
#10
Posted 03 October 2012 - 07:45 PM
#11
Posted 03 October 2012 - 08:59 PM
#12
Posted 04 October 2012 - 06:17 PM
#13
Posted 06 October 2012 - 08:44 AM
SWEET JESUS
How does a human being harness this much hatred?
Only having tasted sweet, sweet victory 9 times in 2 1/4 seasons will do that to you.
#14
Posted 06 October 2012 - 09:51 AM
GoldFalcons proved with their fat Waffle House scattered-smothered-covered loving running back that our defense is as potent as Alicejandra The Taint fan's attempts to get chicks on match.com
#15
Posted 06 October 2012 - 07:17 PM
Only having tasted sweet, sweet victory 9 times in 2 1/4 seasons will do that to you.
You girls sling out history lessons quite frequently. Yet when it comes to that of your own you get amnesia.
Where is the Falcons super bowl trophy? Multiple playoff victories? Nvm.
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