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I was violated by the TSA

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#1 Iceberg Slim

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Posted 13 November 2012 - 11:14 PM

So let me preference this by saying, I am not bashing anyone's lifestyle, people are free to do as they please. However, some folks are meant for certain jobs. That being said, let me begin my story. Today I was flying home and like everyone I was faced with jumping through the usual hoops that the TSA forces on weary travelers. Take off your suit coat, take off your shoes, take out your lap top, remove everything from your pocket, blah blah, blah blah just strip down buck naked. Well I made up that last part but you get the drift. Being that I had been traveling since 6:15am, I was tired and well, I made the dreadful mistake of not removing my belt and proceeded to walk towards the death ray machine. As I stood in the machine and the glass doors moved around me I thought, damn, I forgot to take off my belt, this will not end good. Well I didn't just think of the belt, I was also thinking of how many x-rays were going into my body, why do I have to hold my arms up like I am being stuck up. But I digress. As I began to step out of the machine I was told that my torso had been flagged...damnnitt I knew it. So I did what every logical person would do, I pulled off the belt and handed it over to the agent. In my mind, I thought, now they are going to make me go back through this damn machine and thus will continue their efforts to deep fry my pancreas, liver, kidneys etc. This is the point where the comedy began, I was informed that my infraction would result in a full body pat down. Now let me pause this story, becuase I think its important to note who and what is telling me about the pat down. Since words won't work in some instances, sometimes a picture speaks volumes:

Attached File  Untitled.jpg   384.55KB   11 downloads

well it was one of these guys...let's move on. So this dude begins by rubbing my arms, I am uncomfortable at this point, but what can I do. Next he lets me know he needs to pat down my chest. Okay so dude does 4 individual rubs on my chest...at this point being uncomfortable is now moving towards becoming angry. Only if it had stayed at that point. This dude begins to reach inside my waistband, yes my waistband...so I blanked for about 12 seconds and when I came back to, I had his arm jacked up behind his head. I was like oh. oh, looks like I am about to go to jail......well I will stop the story here, because it becomes a bunch of "look I didn't mean too's, and he provoked me and come on I just want to get homes.....





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Posted 13 November 2012 - 11:20 PM

And this is how u met Jase the TSA agent...




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Posted 13 November 2012 - 11:26 PM

I was flying to minnesota and I forgot to take out my 12" hunting knife from my book bag (I went camping 1 week prior). TSA agent pulled me aside and we both started looking for my knife. We found it, he took the knife and wished me a safe flight. I was surprised how easy he let me go... because I had 2 indian dudes with me that look like Pakistanis... Go figured.

#4 jasonluckydog


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Posted 13 November 2012 - 11:48 PM

That's crazy I work for TSA and I had a bad day, I was just doing my job gently patting some guy down and he grabbed my arm put it behind my head in a matter of seconds

...talk about a weird coincidence.

#5 Mother Grabber

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 01:29 AM

Posted Image

#6 King


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Posted 14 November 2012 - 06:30 AM

TSA machine radiation is harmless. You'd need 400 scans just to reach background radiation levels.

#7 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:41 AM

I think a much more pertinent question would be, where did you get that picture of Jase, Saltman and Hawk?

Hawk told me all of those were destroyed.

#8 Zcustom


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Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:44 AM

Oh look at me I got a free handi J and I wanna complain about it waaa waaa waaaaa!!!

#9 Jase


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Posted 14 November 2012 - 08:51 AM

There appeared to be a gun in front of your scrotum, sir.

#10 Lumps


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Posted 14 November 2012 - 09:25 AM

discrimination and profiling, not because it's right..but because it works.

#11 Hawk


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Posted 14 November 2012 - 12:42 PM

Bear Cruise - Part Deux

#12 Captain Morgan

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 12:57 PM

have you reported this on the homosexual occurrence poll?

#13 mmmbeans



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Posted 14 November 2012 - 01:06 PM

bare assed and in fishnet chaps? I don't think that guy was a TSA agent.

#14 Dick the Butcher

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Posted 14 November 2012 - 11:00 PM

people have more rights at airports/tsa encounters than they are aware of. probably should have asked the nature of the pat down, and also for another agent.

hopefully nothing happened to you [legally, physically, or psychologically]. i will say this, though, don't try flying any time soon.

#15 88 Bronco

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Posted 15 November 2012 - 04:57 AM

Holy hell, I need to fly more often after I buy a redneck sized belt buckle.

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