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Rules for the Non-Military

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#1 SCP


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Posted 28 May 2009 - 07:38 AM

Got this in an e-mail. Pretty funny.

Rules for the Non-Military

*Dear Civilians, We know that the current state of affairs in our great
nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military.
For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a
few of the areas where we would like your assistance:*

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a hat) during
the playing of the National Anthem - kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in

- kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest
amount of respect to al l veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,
quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the
very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many
sacrifices these veterans made to make this Nation great.
- Then hold them down while a disabled veteran kicks their ass.

4.(GUYS) If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were.
Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others
that you used to be 'Special Forces.
Collecting GI Joe memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven
years old, now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass

5.. Next time you come across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them,
'Do you fly a jet?' Not everyone in the Air Force is a pilot.
- Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children are exempt).

6.If you witness someone calling the *US Coast Guard* 'non-military',
inform them of their mistake
- and kick their ass.

7. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on
your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your
Quietly thank the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying

- of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe

8. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or veteran. We
are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party

Our Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief(CinC). The
President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC Regardless of
political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those
big important buildings where all those representatives meet All we know
is that when those civilian resentatives screw up the situation, they
call upon the military to go straighten it out.
- If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will
get your ass kicked.

9. 'Your mama wears combat boots' never made sense to me - stop saying
If she did, she would most likely be a vet and
- therefore would kick your ass!

10. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying 'Let's
go kill those Commies!' And stop asking us where he is!

Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me -
if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know,
so I can go kick their ass!

11. 'Flyboy' (*Air Force*), 'Jarhead' (*Marines),* 'Grunt' (*Army*),
(*Navy*), 'Puddle Jumpers' (*Coast Guard*), etc., are terms of
endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member
or vet, you have not earned the right to use them.
- Using them could get your ass kicked.

12. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the
military, support our troops and their families... Every Thanksgiving
and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please
remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors,
marines and airmen far from home wishing; they could be with their
families.. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every

Without them, our Country would get it's ass kicked..'
'It's the Veteran, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of
the press.'
'It's the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of
'It's the Veteran, not the community organizer, who gives us the
freedom to demonstrate.'
'It 's the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by
the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.' ** AMEN SISTER **

13. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national
anthem in Spanish

If you got this email and didn't pass it on - guess what - you deserve
to get your ass kicked!!!!

I sent this to you, because I didn't want to get my ass kicked.


#2 cookinwithgas


    Grey Poupon Elitest Trash

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Posted 28 May 2009 - 08:00 AM

As a vet, I think that whoever made up that crap...should get their ass kicked. Fuging stupid.

And Coasties are not in really in the military, everyone knows that. Their "uniforms" look like something flight attendants wear.

#3 Delhommey



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Posted 28 May 2009 - 08:04 AM

It's the protester who pays the taxes that pay the vet!

AK rant in 5...4...3...

#4 PowerlessDan


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Posted 28 May 2009 - 08:12 AM

I'm afraid I might have an ass kicking coming.

#5 SCP


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Posted 28 May 2009 - 08:15 AM

Chain e-mails are a trip. It's amazing how fast these things spread. Does anybody actually work anymore?

#6 PhillyB


    sườn núi phía đông thứ ba của mặt trời

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Posted 28 May 2009 - 10:37 AM

amusing, but definitely pretty stupid.