Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:00 AM
Posted 03 December 2012 - 11:34 AM
Remember in 1984 when I asked for an Optimus Prime Transformer and you brought me a Gobot instead? Well, you still owe me, fat man, and now I am cashing in. Put down the insulin injections and listen up.
You see, this year I just want to feel a little better about the Panthers, if only for a day. I am tired of feeling like I am watching a team coached by Cousin Eddie as he empties his chemical toilet. I want to feel like the Carolinas have an honest to goodness legitimate NFL team with a future.
What will make me feel this way? I am glad you asked.
This Christmas I would like for the Panthers to beat the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday and send them on a downward spiral ending in yet another "one and done" postseason. At the very least, this will prevent me from the inevitable bourbon induced January coma.
Do these things and all is forgiven.
PS. If you can find a way to make Matty Ice crap himself during the game that would be awesome.
PPS. Fuggin Gobots
I remember very well your 1984 request. Optimus Prime was all loaded up and ready for delivery on December the 23rd. But then, little Suszy Colson, your next-door-neighbor back then, forgot to close her curtains after her shower. You spent the rest of that day and ALL DAY LONG the 24th staring out of your window into hers hoping for another glance. As such, you forgot to leave me cookies or milk and unfortunately found yourself on the "naughty" list. You're lucky you got Gobots and not the jar of Vaseline Mrs. Claus wanted me to give you.
Granted, that fateful day helped you decide your career, but you have yet to do anything to redeem yourself to the "nice" list.
Leave me 2 Famous Amos Chocolate Chip cookies and a bottle of Chivas Regal Royal Salute Scotch and we'll talk.
Posted 03 December 2012 - 12:48 PM
We lost to fuging Kansas City. I hate the Dirty Birds but there's no way we will beat them
But but but we almost beat them back in ... nah never mind, not going there.
Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:39 PM
And on top of that, it was Romeo fuging Crenell.
Last night I was getting a midnight snack and I opened my fridge and I paused, then I laughed. Why did I laugh? We just lost to the Kansas City chiefs. We were out coached by a man that just witnessed a suicide.
Posted 03 December 2012 - 01:40 PM
My inner child is so friggin jelly of your inner child it's unreal....
Ohhhhhhhh I had the Optimus Prime where his trailer turned into like a battle base and had the extra little car that came out.....
It was most thrilling to play with.
I also had the Holy Grail of 80's toys..... The Voltron Castle where the mirror would show her ghost dad every now and then.
I barely got a single GI Joe.
Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:25 PM
they were fun for chasing the cat, that's about it
I just wanted it because you didn't have to chase after it when it inevitably flipped over every two minutes....
Posted 03 December 2012 - 02:43 PM
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