Posted 13 December 2012 - 09:53 AM
We try to use punishments that fit the crime so to speak.
She's almost 12.
Recently she was watching TV and I asked her if she was finished with her homework, she said, "yes". I asked her to show it to me along with her homework planner. She kept stalling. So it was obvious she lied to me about it so she could continue to watch tv. She admitted that she lied.The punishment was no TV or computer (unless she needed it for homework) for a week, instead of her normal TV time she had to read a book.
If she doesn't do her chores, she has to do her normal chores and pick a chore from the chore jar to do as well.
I also have a discipline Jar full of things she would need to do in case I cant think of a good "punishment" to fit the "crime". There are things in that jar like, "write an apology letter and state what you will do differently next time", "Do research on the computer on ________ and write a paper about it", "Clean the Refrigerator", "Write a thank you letter to a person that did something nice for you", "Write down 10 things you like about your mom and dad and present it to us".
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:07 AM
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:08 AM
Our youngest is 12 and he's in the hormone stage now... grouchy, talks back, etc.
Our usual punishment is no xBox, no TV, take away the iPod, etc. Sending him to his room doesn't work, he just reads...
Really the only major issue we have is the two of them arguing/fighting. It's pretty constant.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:14 AM
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:20 AM
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:21 AM
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:22 AM
"Write ten things you like about Mom and Dad"... WHY?
I dunno I like the ncbiscuit common sense approach. Take away their shït for a day or something.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:23 AM
We did and its totally backfired on us. We conditioned our child to associate work with punishment. Now I wish she had a better work ethic.
I often say that the plural of anecdote is not data so I know that my one example could be unique but just throwing it out there...
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:25 AM
We conditioned our child to associate work with punishment. Now I wish she had a better work ethic.
I really think this is the exact problem I have.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:29 AM
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:30 AM
We never really spanked when they were little except for things that were dangerous... such as one time my oldest pushed my youngest down the stairs... I whipped his ass for that. Spanking now would be useless.
With my oldest, now that he has his license and wants to go and do, we can simply take his keys and/or his computer. Those are pretty much what he cares about.
Posted 13 December 2012 - 10:34 AM
Right now, if he is bad at daycare (ie. they give us a report that he has bit someone or been bad somehow), depending on how severe it is, we typically don't let him play with his toys when he gets home. We also try to talk to him in a way that he understands why, and that he has to not do the bad things in order to be able to enjoy his toys and things at home.
If he's bad around us, we'll threaten timeout and spanking. Stage two is timeout. Stage three is a spanking + removal of toys/fun.
It hurts the poo out of me to see him cry/hurt/upset when it comes to stage 3 (which is only hard enough to startle him and never hard enough to really hurt him), but it has been totally effective and lessons have been learned.