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LifeisaGarden

Disciplining Children

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What do you think is the most effective way to discipline children, based on age and what was done wrong.

We try to use punishments that fit the crime so to speak.

She's almost 12.

Recently she was watching TV and I asked her if she was finished with her homework, she said, "yes". I asked her to show it to me along with her homework planner. She kept stalling. So it was obvious she lied to me about it so she could continue to watch tv. She admitted that she lied.The punishment was no TV or computer (unless she needed it for homework) for a week, instead of her normal TV time she had to read a book.

If she doesn't do her chores, she has to do her normal chores and pick a chore from the chore jar to do as well.

I also have a discipline Jar full of things she would need to do in case I cant think of a good "punishment" to fit the "crime". There are things in that jar like, "write an apology letter and state what you will do differently next time", "Do research on the computer on ________ and write a paper about it", "Clean the Refrigerator", "Write a thank you letter to a person that did something nice for you", "Write down 10 things you like about your mom and dad and present it to us".

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You just spank them so bad that they never want it again.

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Beat the poo out of 'em!!!

j/k

Our youngest is 12 and he's in the hormone stage now... grouchy, talks back, etc.

Our usual punishment is no xBox, no TV, take away the iPod, etc. Sending him to his room doesn't work, he just reads...

Really the only major issue we have is the two of them arguing/fighting. It's pretty constant.

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My parents used to embarrass me as punishment. For example, when I was 12 me and group of friends got in trouble for "shanking" people during gym class. So my mom and dad "shanked" me all the time in public afterward until I got the point. (didn't take long). Not sure how you could embarrass her for not doing her homework. Let her not complete it and send an email to the teacher to get her to answer a bunch of questions from the homework. She'll be totally horrified and would probably complete her homework from that point on.

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Intimidation works the best on people... The younger you are the easier you are intimidated. When you take their TV away or make em do poo, in their head you just an asshole, they lose respect for you when they get older. When you use intimidation, they fear you and respect you. Intimidation can go from yelling to ass whooping.

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My soon to be 8 year old is going through a serious not-listening phase right now. He's a bit spoiled. It's rubbing off on the soon to be 3 year old. It's so frustrating at times. I like some of LIAG's ideas. Between stress at work and everything else it's hard to keep patience these days. I have really become reactionary and fast to just take stuff away or argue. My New Years resolution is to be that patient dad I used to be.

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I don't have kids but that punishment jar sounds ridiculous

"Write ten things you like about Mom and Dad"... WHY?

I dunno I like the ncbiscuit common sense approach. Take away their shït for a day or something.

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Id caution against using chores as punishment.

We did and its totally backfired on us. We conditioned our child to associate work with punishment. Now I wish she had a better work ethic.

I often say that the plural of anecdote is not data so I know that my one example could be unique but just throwing it out there...

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We conditioned our child to associate work with punishment. Now I wish she had a better work ethic.

I really think this is the exact problem I have.

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You could resort to the old marine method. Which my best friend and I had to do a couple of times. His dad would make us dig a massive hole in his yard (supposedly to plant a large tree) then he would come out look at it and say "nah, i don't want it there, fill that one back in, and dig one about 15 feet to the left"......asshole

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