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Disciplining Children

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Posted

I have also been tryin askin my son what the punishment should be the next time he does something wrong. Let them choose the punishment, I have to agree of course, but I feel that drives it home a bit more...

My kids have already learned that Daddy is the hardass & Mommy is not. Too many times my wife makes excuses for the kids behavior, too many times have I let them have their way. It only makes it worse when I tell her to deal with it, Im going out to my garage, Im not going to deal wiht it then. The worst part is that I know this is a big contributor to the problem, and kick myself when I do let it go because my doing that only makes it worse later on...

I do appreciate the sentiment, though, good to know Im not the only one feelin this way....

In my house, mom is the hard ass, until Dad comes down on them, then I'm "being too harsh" even if I say/do exactly what she has before. That has been the cause of several major disagreements between us...

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Posted

Mine is on board with backing me up most of the time, especially when she knows that my patience is already gone. But then there are them other times...

She told me I was too harsh once... She didnt go outside for a week...

Kidding......

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Posted

Kids need to be spanked until they about 14. Then they will start settling in. Remember, you spank the child because you care and love him/her.

um yea that's pretty much completely false and misguided.

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Posted

I could usually talk my way out of spankings when I was younger...somehow always blamed it on my brother.

I was never grounded or had anything taken away that I can remember, but spankings worked when I got them. If dad went outside to get a switch, my ass straightened up.

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Posted

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe."

BY MOTHER GOOSE

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.

She gave them some broth without any bread;

And whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Wise old lady!

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Posted

In my house, mom is the hard ass, until Dad comes down on them, then I'm "being too harsh" even if I say/do exactly what she has before. That has been the cause of several major disagreements between us...

Ditto

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Posted

I can't stress enough how crucial it is that mom and dad are on the same page. Kids are sponges and they know.

One other thing to throw out on this. If you know of a parent(s) and you like the way their kid is doing or has grown up, spend time with them. As much as you can. Watch what they do and take mental notes. When do they stand firm, when do they throw their kid a bone and have a no call? Absorb what they do and be willing to ask for feedback on your kids.

I think the best ways to hone in on how to help is let friends watch your kids, especially the friends that do well with their kids and ask for feedback. In fact, demand honest feedback. Make sure your kid is seeing you ask and you look at them.

Finally just a bit more deep stuff to consider. Kids are NOT good at communicating how they feel or think. What seems like a tirade or a tantrum etc, is really them trying to articulate something they may not understand.

Be willing to take a step back and first see how you may be contributing to the drama. Do you yell at your spouse? Are you inconsistent with discipline? Do you say one thing and do something else? Kids NEED consistency. They actually crave it and if mom or dad is loosey goosey, it creates a more insecure child. I'm not saying be a nun but be firm but flexible but always be consistent. Never, ever lose an argument with your kid.

Many times I can see where my wife and one or both of the girls are being crabby with each other and it might as simple as getting something good to eat or just going to sleep. I can't tell you how many times I just step in and go guys, I think ya'll need to hit the hay.

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Posted

I always take away the cord for the computer, the battery for the cell phone ect. Why take away the whole thing when you can render it useless and they can look at it but not use it.

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Posted

I usually take away the thing they love the most. With my son right now, its his Xbox. If he gets in trouble, it goes in the closet. Its a much more effective punishment than spanking (which imo should only be used in extreme circumstances).

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Posted

Typically it only takes me to tell them I am disappointed in them to break them down and fix the issue.

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Posted

Kids need to be spanked until they about 14. Then they will start settling in. Remember, you spank the child because you care and love him/her.

Please don't give out parenting advice.

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Posted

2 quick questions:

Is intentionally physically hurting another person against the law?

Are kids people?

Let the dancing begin....

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