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Disciplining Children


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#31 j2sgam

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:20 PM

I have also been tryin askin my son what the punishment should be the next time he does something wrong. Let them choose the punishment, I have to agree of course, but I feel that drives it home a bit more...

My kids have already learned that Daddy is the hardass & Mommy is not. Too many times my wife makes excuses for the kids behavior, too many times have I let them have their way. It only makes it worse when I tell her to deal with it, Im going out to my garage, Im not going to deal wiht it then. The worst part is that I know this is a big contributor to the problem, and kick myself when I do let it go because my doing that only makes it worse later on...

I do appreciate the sentiment, though, good to know Im not the only one feelin this way....

#32 Porn Shop Clerk

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:23 PM

crate train them!

i kid.

the best solution is a long, boring talk about why what they did is wrong, and the consequences if they do it next time, and following through with those consequences imo. put them on work release, ie, grounded from video games and entertainment and friends and distractions until the entire house is clean to your specifications, mow an elderly neighbor's yard for free, etc etc

most discipline problems come from inaction, or inconsistent punishment. disciplining a child is a 24/7/365 job, and constructive discipline is the best from what i've seen.

but i'm allergic to children so wtf would i know

#33 h0llywood

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:32 PM

I was such a bad teenager growing up and the one thing that stuck with me was my mom emotionally hurting me.

I remember getting home and getting through the door and my mom was sitting at the kitchen table with all her friends. She yelled out about 5 times "I hate that boy. That boy right there I hate him."

I was so hurt and embarrassed. I sat down that night and asked myself, "Why does my mom hate me?'' Good thing I was able to realize because I was a bad kid.

Needless to say, I think i'm my mom's favorite today.

#34 Hawk

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:52 PM

my kids are perfect, no discipline required

#35 j2sgam

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 03:53 PM

thats cause there is nothin to do in Canada to get in trouble... other than indiscretions with a moose, but it was lying, right?

#36 Hawk

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 04:00 PM

no video = no truth

#37 Darth Biscuit

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 04:00 PM

I have also been tryin askin my son what the punishment should be the next time he does something wrong. Let them choose the punishment, I have to agree of course, but I feel that drives it home a bit more...

My kids have already learned that Daddy is the hardass & Mommy is not. Too many times my wife makes excuses for the kids behavior, too many times have I let them have their way. It only makes it worse when I tell her to deal with it, Im going out to my garage, Im not going to deal wiht it then. The worst part is that I know this is a big contributor to the problem, and kick myself when I do let it go because my doing that only makes it worse later on...

I do appreciate the sentiment, though, good to know Im not the only one feelin this way....


In my house, mom is the hard ass, until Dad comes down on them, then I'm "being too harsh" even if I say/do exactly what she has before. That has been the cause of several major disagreements between us...

#38 j2sgam

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    cant beat the original...

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 04:43 PM

Mine is on board with backing me up most of the time, especially when she knows that my patience is already gone. But then there are them other times...

She told me I was too harsh once... She didnt go outside for a week...


















Kidding......

#39 Frash Brastard

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 06:32 PM

Kids need to be spanked until they about 14. Then they will start settling in. Remember, you spank the child because you care and love him/her.


um yea that's pretty much completely false and misguided.

#40 CarolinaNCSU

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 06:41 PM

I could usually talk my way out of spankings when I was younger...somehow always blamed it on my brother.

I was never grounded or had anything taken away that I can remember, but spankings worked when I got them. If dad went outside to get a switch, my ass straightened up.

#41 MagPie

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 07:10 PM

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe."

BY MOTHER GOOSE


There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do.
She gave them some broth without any bread;
And whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.



Wise old lady!

#42 SCP

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 08:53 PM

In my house, mom is the hard ass, until Dad comes down on them, then I'm "being too harsh" even if I say/do exactly what she has before. That has been the cause of several major disagreements between us...


Ditto

#43 pstall

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Posted 13 December 2012 - 11:20 PM

I can't stress enough how crucial it is that mom and dad are on the same page. Kids are sponges and they know.

One other thing to throw out on this. If you know of a parent(s) and you like the way their kid is doing or has grown up, spend time with them. As much as you can. Watch what they do and take mental notes. When do they stand firm, when do they throw their kid a bone and have a no call? Absorb what they do and be willing to ask for feedback on your kids.

I think the best ways to hone in on how to help is let friends watch your kids, especially the friends that do well with their kids and ask for feedback. In fact, demand honest feedback. Make sure your kid is seeing you ask and you look at them.


Finally just a bit more deep stuff to consider. Kids are NOT good at communicating how they feel or think. What seems like a tirade or a tantrum etc, is really them trying to articulate something they may not understand.

Be willing to take a step back and first see how you may be contributing to the drama. Do you yell at your spouse? Are you inconsistent with discipline? Do you say one thing and do something else? Kids NEED consistency. They actually crave it and if mom or dad is loosey goosey, it creates a more insecure child. I'm not saying be a nun but be firm but flexible but always be consistent. Never, ever lose an argument with your kid.

Many times I can see where my wife and one or both of the girls are being crabby with each other and it might as simple as getting something good to eat or just going to sleep. I can't tell you how many times I just step in and go guys, I think ya'll need to hit the hay.

#44 88 Bronco

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 01:13 AM

I always take away the cord for the computer, the battery for the cell phone ect. Why take away the whole thing when you can render it useless and they can look at it but not use it.

#45 Davidson Deac II

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Posted 14 December 2012 - 06:41 AM

I usually take away the thing they love the most. With my son right now, its his Xbox. If he gets in trouble, it goes in the closet. Its a much more effective punishment than spanking (which imo should only be used in extreme circumstances).


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