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SZ James (banned)

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saw this on somethingawful and i don't know where else to post it but it needs to be here

 

King Hussein Obama I, flanked by his bodyguards, stepped out of his blinged Limoscalade and marched up the gold-lined marble steps of Washington Palace. It should have been a glorious day, yet under his heavy yet exquisite crown of carved human fetus-ivory his brow was ridged deeply as he silently brooded. Still, his posse, boomboxes on their shoulders, dance-walked up the steps, chains and gats jangling over the din as they grabbed their crotches.

As his trusted associates T-Von and Mook-Mook the Bushman pushed open the grand organic farm-grown cruelty-free redwood doors paid for by his 95% tax rate, he stepped into the antechamber of the gold-domed palace. Outside, ShariaVentalism reigned, but in here his word was law, and all his white teen sex slaves cowered before his glare more than even the hemp whips of their latte-drinking tweeded atheist masters.

He walked down the hallway toward his office and a prisoner in chains passed before him, lead by two turban-wearing Mexicans. He spotted the King and began shouting curses.

"You fuging fascist! I knew it! I knew it! I told them, but they wouldn't listen, that your health care platform was a slippery slope to all this! You won't get away with this! The will of the Free Market will not be denied!"
"Seelenceo een the prezence of the Keeng, preesoner!"

King Obama spotted a chance to improve his ill mood.

"Bring him here. Good. Give me his file." The king looked over the prisoner's dossier. A long list of crimes against the state, and a repeat offender.
"You'll never get away with this! Never!"
"Hush now, Mr. Jack. We have ways of dealing with unruly sorts such as yourself."
"Praise be to Allah, seenyor."
"Peh! I spit at your torture! The Free Market gives me strength!"
"Oh, no, not anything as gauche as torture."

The King grabbed a syringe from the outstretched hand of one of his nearby breakdancing bodyguards, and plunged it into the man's helpless neck.

"Now you are immune to rubella."

Kyle's lingering, echoing screams of tormented horror brought a slight smile like a crack in Obama's stony brown face as he walked into his lavish velvet-lined office and shut the door behind him. He motioned for his bodyguards to leave the room, and he addressed the giant screens hanging over his desk.

"Screen one on. Connect to Emperor bin Laden of Eurabia. Screen two: Hugo Chavez of the U.S.S.A.R.. Screen three: The High Elder of Zion."

The three figures appeared live via satelite.

"Gentlemen," began Obama darkly, "it's time to have...a conversation."

 

 

 

also

 

what stupid fuging boomers want you to believe (actual cover):

 

N4Tey6b.jpg

 

 

reality:

 

cjty0gc.jpg

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this generation is so pampered and entitled.  i inherited an impossibly explosive economy riding cheap oil, cheap credit, and a massive housing bubble.  nothing was handed to me.

 

frankly i don't know what the problem with millenials is.  why can't they just work hard like me?

 

relevant:

f5WGTUC.jpg

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can't wait until boomers continue to bitch about generation Y while they're exhausting the social security reservoir that we won't get a red cent out of by the time we retire.

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im gen x guy but those ahead of us did kinda pay into a system for a lot longer and well, its still solvent.

 

but no question, my generation and those after have had it very very very very very very very good.

 

we all had the OPTION of going to war instead of being drafted. let that sink in and then go find me a clever meme for that.

 

now my dad, who did go to Vietnam and has had 30 years worth of demons did tell me back in the late 80's that his gen did hand us a car already heading towards a cliff. as usual. my dad was spot on.

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saw this on somethingawful and i don't know where else to post it but it needs to be here

that's actually pretty funny.

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saw this on somethingawful and i don't know where else to post it but it needs to be here

also

what stupid fuging boomers want you to believe (actual cover):

N4Tey6b.jpg

Wow, Time did an article about godspin and SZ :)

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