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What would you tell the eight year-old you?

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What advice would you give yourself?
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When a lady tells you "we need to talk", it's a trap!
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Kep your arm loose.

[img]http://www.andpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Screen-Shot-2012-11-23-at-12.10.08-PM.png[/img]

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Start running you fat bitch and don't stop till you aren't fat anymore. Oh and avoid women named krystine like the plague you don't need that trouble no matter how hot she is. Do this and your/our life will be infinitely better.
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Don't be hesitant in your future endeavors. Man up and take control of good opportunities socially, educationally, and when it comes to the females too, my child.

Also, stick with soccer and when you pick up boxing in a few years, stick with that too. Sh*t will get you mad ladies in the future.

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Oh and if you still spend 4 years of your young life chasing the same girl, give it the hell up man. You don't get her in the end and you miss out on a lot of hotter chicks because of it. She is not even attractive dude, she's a bitch.

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Haha someone got cheated on.

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Never stop reading, studying, or taking things apart to learn how they work... and tie your damn shoes!

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"here, grab a piece of paper and write down these super bowl scores"

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Start saving all your pennies now and go to college. ;)

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Just because youll score exceeding well on an IQ in Jr High test doesn't mean you don't have to study. Don't drop out of High School and go to college.

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Buy a truck load of Apple stock when it comes around

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Don't listen to that dude above you and instead buy a truckload of Google stock instead.

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Listen to both of those dudes above you and buy Apple, Google, and some Microsoft too. Do NOT buy Facebook when it goes IPO.

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The list of the next 5 super bowl winners and to, in 5 years, buy as much Microsoft stock that you can with the money you won betting on super bowls and sell it all in 1999.

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Stop eating so much fast food.

Don't get bored in school and apply yourself to doing more even though you feel it is beneath you.

Save money and don't buy stupid stuff.

Create Facebook.

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I had a really vivid dream once where I met myself when I was five.

I met myself on the porch of my parents house.

I could tell my five year old self had no idea who I was, and looked like I was very scared of me.

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Don't switch your college major to Marketing because your football coach didn't want lab class to interfere with spring practice, you're not going to the NFL.

When you have that drunken urge to urinate on a police car, don't do it.

Volunteer more.

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Don't smoke so much weed in high school...in turn ...you'll attend more classes and therefore give a fug about school and go to college

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get your hand out of your pants.

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Pull out.

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this fundamentalist religious stuff you're being brought up on is actually insane

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If a guy with a high-pitched voice and a shiny glove invites you over to his house, say no.

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Listen to Dr Dre, he is a scholar.

Start up a site called facebook.
Challenge yourself.
Fug bitches errrryyyday
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Don't buy stocks... Instead, have unprotected sex with every girl who wants to "talk to you." They don't want to fall in love and date you. They want your magic stick. Give it to them.

You'll be on the verge of a threesome at 16 with two hot girls rubbing and licking on your six-pack in a bed. Your friend will be angry and cockblock you... Don't take him with you.

You'll still meet your wife and have a wonderful life, you'll just have had a lot more sex. You're welcome. /farts into millions of tiny particles

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