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CarolinaNCSU

I Need Huddle Relationship Advice

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ARSEN    9,453

When my fiancé and I just started to date, she had another guy on a side that she was just a friend with. She did not tell me about him, I found out cause someone kept texting her so I looked at her phone and asked who that guy was? She said just friend... Fact, most guys want to be friends with a girl just to score some pussy. I told her its either that guy or me. I told her I don't have time to fug around. She picked me of course. Later, come to find out her so called friend wanted just to get in her pants...

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Kurb    4,984

When my fiancé and I just started to date, she had another guy on a side that she was just a friend with. She did not tell me about him, I found out cause someone kept texting her so I looked at her phone and asked who that guy was? She said just friend... Fact, most guys want to be friends with a girl just to score some pussy. I told her its either that guy or me. I told her I don't have time to fug around. She picked me of course. Later, come to find out her so called friend wanted just to get in her pants...

We can't help it.

I want to bang most every chick I know/meet on some level.

I don't of course, I am very happy with my wife, but on some primal level dudes just want to bang chicks. We can't help it. :(

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I was going to post old-guy advice about how trust should be there, and if it isn't, the relationship won't be there for much longer.

Then I see the OP is 22, so my old-guy advice is, you're only 22. Don't get tied down now. Enjoy life.

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Delhommey    2,800

Obviously you're an idiot for looking at her phone, but dude did you really stuck your foot in it by confronting her on something that was not at the very least suggestive flirtation. You don't confront without unassailable evidence of wrong doing. ESPECIALLY with someone you're dating. You look like an insecure possible psycho, and you have actually increased the chances of her hooking up with him now that you've brought it up.

She's a chick in college and y'all live an hour away. She's going to keep back up options around. It sounds like she's not encouraging this guy at all. She's just not saying no. That seems to say "I'm not interested, but could be if other things break down." So stop breaking things down, dude.

By the way you should have options, too. Don't lead those options on, but you should have them.

Honestly you should apologize for snooping on her phone and for lacking trust. Then say that you went a little overboard because you care so much about her and are a little scared of losing her, but what you did was unacceptable. Then take her out somewhere nice as an apology, seduce her, and wreck that poo. Reclaim the pussy.

  • Pie 3

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CarolinaNCSU    5,200

Yeah we've had a weird past, dating or talking on and off for the last like 7 years. We always come back to each other, and things were going perfect. She had actually sent me a message while she was in Hawaii about how amazing things had been since we had gotten back together and how happy she was. And I clearly worried about something stupid and screwed up. She just texted me though for the first time since she left, so we'll see how this goes.

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Kurb    4,984

Obviously you're an idiot for looking at her phone, but dude did you really stuck your foot in it by confronting her on something that was not at the very least suggestive flirtation. You don't confront without unassailable evidence of wrong doing. ESPECIALLY with someone you're dating. You look like an insecure possible psycho, and you have actually increased the chances of her hooking up with him not that you've brought it up.

She's a chick in college and y'all live an hour away. She's going to keep back up options around. It sounds like she's not encouraging this guy at all. She's just not saying no. That seems to say "I'm not interested, but could be if other things break down." So stop breaking things down, dude.

By the way you should have options, too. Don't lead those options on, but you should have them.

Honestly you should apologize for snooping on her phone and for lacking trust. Then say that you went a little overboard because you care so much about her and are a little scared of losing her, but what you did was unacceptable. Then take her out somewhere nice as an apology, seduce her, and wreck that poo. Reclaim the pussy.

^Very wise words.

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Kurb    4,984

Yeah we've had a weird past, dating or talking on and off for the last like 7 years. We always come back to each other, and things were going perfect. She had actually sent me a message while she was in Hawaii about how amazing things had been since we had gotten back together and how happy she was. And I clearly worried about something stupid and screwed up. She just texted me though for the first time since she left, so we'll see how this goes.

FFS

300px-Paris_Tuileries_Garden_Facepalm_statue.jpg

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ARSEN    9,453

Just be careful, she might indeed be fuging the other guy and might be using u as a safety blanket. Girl are known for doing this poo.

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jtnc    3,667

Make-up sex and apologize(maybe while you're making love to her?) but, anyway you have to let it go.

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Delhommey    2,800

Yeah we've had a weird past, dating or talking on and off for the last like 7 years. We always come back to each other, and things were going perfect. She had actually sent me a message while she was in Hawaii about how amazing things had been since we had gotten back together and how happy she was. And I clearly worried about something stupid and screwed up. She just texted me though for the first time since she left, so we'll see how this goes.

Guess what. Things don't go perfectly. Get over that Hollywood nonsense. I remember when I was young I thought there was some magical point that you reach (in life, in love, in everything) to where everything then after would just be PEACHY.

Yeah, no. There is no Santa Claus. Things don't get easier at some mystical point of the relationship. The weaknesses in your relationship that are there in the beginning will get worse not better (unless you both work very hard to over come them).

You living in the same town is about the only thing that will make this all better. Until then, I'd suggest you both see other people, but it doesn't sound like that's something you should handle.

I will hammer this point home: The more you fear losing her, the more chance that you will. You will come across as neurotic and you will be unbearably annoying and will smother her to death (You're going to a movie with your friends. DOES THAT MEAN YOU WANT TO GET AWAY FROM ME?!!!)

You have to figure out how to be confident in yourself AND in her. And if you can't legitimately be confident in her? Well, I'm sorry that will never work out in a billion tries. Just won't.

Nut up. Apologize for being snoopy. Then work on being confident in yourself and the relationship. If you can't, fake it till you make it.

  • Pie 1

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Mrs Pantherfan    826

HA! I just stalked and found you ... :) I feel creepy now

everything has been said really...though I will say...If she was really doing something bad, she would've deleted the texts...since she didn't...she's good...or she's not very bright...no offense..just sayin :)

  • Pie 1

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sharkman    2

Old man poo here, but my advice is move on, or let her be the back up as Delhommey so wisely stated. Too many options to be stuck with one girl at your age. Trust issues are incredibly hard to recover from in a relationship. Now you'll likely always have something to concern yourself about, and since you've gone through her phone, so will she. Neither of you will trust the other and this will drag out to a bad outcome in the long run anyway.

Just my jaded point of view.

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Delhommey    2,800

And since you are, as you've said, 22 years of age, I will also point this out: Those who already have pussy can best get more pussy.

Namaste.

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