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Gun owner fails to stop serial masturbatory home invasion and vacuum cleaner assault.

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Posted

It's never a dull day in Florida, our country's most fantastic state. Let's set the scene: It's Monday, January 21, and an unnamed North Fort Myers resident is lying in bed relaxing after a hard day's work. Just after 7 p.m., he hears a noise coming from his roof — he thinks it sounds like thunder. He goes outside to investigate the disturbance, when he sees 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni running on his house. Bruni leaps from the roof, tackling the man. Bruni is naked.

From there, Bruni runs into the house, hellbent on destruction. He sees a "large television" minding its own business and knocks it off its stand. He then spies a vacuum cleaner. How do you terrorize a vacuum cleaner? You don't — you just empty its contents back onto the floor. That's what Bruni does. From there, things finally start to get weird:

Bruni then headed toward the couple's son's bedroom, where several guns were stored, so the man's wife fired three warning shots from a .38 revolver.

The arrest report says Bruni fell to the floor - but then began pleasuring himself.

He got up off the floor, ran into the son's bedroom and began rubbing clothing on his face.

Police are called, and they apprehend a flailing, babbling Bruni only after Tasering him. "Tase him, bro," a cop almost certainly says. Bruni is taken to a hospital, but doctors there say they can't identify what drug he is on. The answer is either all of them, or one you've never heard of. Or bath salts. Probably bath salts.

http://gawker.com/59...ner-masturbates

Gotta love bath salts. Also, who stores guns in their sons room? This better be an adult, loser, still-lives-at-home, son.

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Posted

original story

A North Fort Myers resident was tackled by a naked man who had leapt off his roof Monday evening - and the scene only got more bizarre from there.

Deputies were called to 17000 block of Old Bayshore Road just before 7 p.m. to deal with 21-year-old Gregory Matthew Bruni of Venice.

The resident said he was lying in bed when he and his wife heard what sounded like thunder.

The man went outside and saw Bruni running around on the roof. He allegedly jumped off and onto the victim, hitting him in the shoulder and knocking him down.

Deputies say Bruni then ran into the house and pulled a large-screen TV off its stand and dumped the contents of a vacuum onto the floor.

Bruni then headed toward the couple's son's bedroom, where several guns were stored, so the man's wife fired three warning shots from a .38 revolver.

The arrest report says Bruni fell to the floor - but then began pleasuring himself.

He got up off the floor, ran into the son's bedroom and began rubbing clothing on his face.

The resident got a shotgun and held Bruni until two deputies arrived.

They cleared the home and tried to detain Bruni, who they describe as flailing his arms and legs and talking, but not making any sense.

Bruni tried to flee the deputies, and they ended up using a Taser to subdue him.

http://www.nbc-2.com/story/20649108/naked-assailant-terrorizes-nfm-family#.UP8c2NKf-2g.email

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Posted

Sounds like he had a blast!

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Posted

Did someone forget to tell him that The Bachelor was back on and he didn't need to go to these extremes for entertainment?

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Posted

that sucks

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Posted

Seriously who hasn't done that at least once?

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Posted

Warning shots?

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Posted

there's a vas deferens between this situation and other home defenses.

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Posted

Warning shots?

I agree. Wife should have put the bullets in him. Let the autopsy determine what drugs he was on.

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Posted

It amazes me how someone such as this guy can go unnoticed in society until the they have a finale like this.

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Posted

Warning shots! LMFAO. Really?

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