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Help for the Sexually Inexperienced

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Posted

While I'm at it...

There are reasons I'm divorced. Issues in the bedroom are not among them. The ex and I were rabbits, and she was adventurous so we tried quite a few things.

One of my favorite "spicy" things to do was to catch her cooking, cleaning or just doing some mundane thing. I'd sneak up behind her, grab her shoulder and start kissing and nibbling her neck. Then I'd start touching her in all the spots where I knew she liked it best. I'd get her to the point where I could tell she was pretty well ready to go and then...

...stop and walk away :blink:

Cruel? Wrong? Evil? Perhaps, but to be fair I always made up for it that night :D

That made me shutter. Oh my, how could you be so rotten!?

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Posted

Come on guys, you can't just start sexting out of the blue like that. You gotta work it into the conversation.

I know everyone's relationship with their spouse is different, and my wife generally gets the joke when I call her the dishwasher. If she asked me if I ran the dishwasher this morning, my response would have been along the lines of "I was kinda hoping to ram the dishwasher tonight"

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Posted

be as fast as possible, clean your dick, turn tv on

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Posted

I wonder how many Huddlers are getting some today because of this thread. You can all thank me now.

my hand gave it to me 3 times today

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Posted

I wonder how many Huddlers are getting some today because of this thread. You can all thank me now.

Yeah...now how about a sammich thread.

You know the best post coitus MVP sammich thread.

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Posted

That made me shutter. Oh my, how could you be so rotten!?

Because the results were worth it :D

Now in the interest of full disclosure, she got me too sometimes. One of her tricks was to catch me leaving for work but before I got out the door, to grab me, shove me against the door, kneel down and, to quote Tony Montana, say hello to my little friend :blink:

Except she didn't finish the task...

She'd do enough to get me going, then stop, zip me up, give me a coy smile and say "have fun at work" :wacko:

I had to walk very discreetly to my car and try to "normalize" on the drive to the office. Once I got to the office, then the texts started, and by the time I got home I had essentially reverted to being a teenage boy again :lol:

A girl I dated after her used to like to gain a "competitive advantage" by wearing something revealing or whispering things in my ear when we were playing pool, bowling, playing mini golf or some such activity. That was fun too. A lot to be said for a woman who knows how to use her femininity to be playful.

Bottom Line: The best kind of seduction is the kind that goes on all through the day rather than just starting after you get under the covers. Lot of things my ex-wife didn't understand, but she did understand that. And since I did too, well...like I said, that part of our marriage wasn't a problem.

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Posted

Come on guys, you can't just start sexting out of the blue like that. You gotta work it into the conversation.

I know everyone's relationship with their spouse is different, and my wife generally gets the joke when I call her the dishwasher. If she asked me if I ran the dishwasher this morning, my response would have been along the lines of "I was kinda hoping to ram the dishwasher tonight"

Speak for yourself.

Texting, "Hey baby, How are u? I'm horny!", has never let me down.

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Posted

:wacko:

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Hahaha damn threads like these makes me miss this place.

My favorite- bent over the bed

His favorite- I Would say probably me on top of him

LiaG you are crazy.....sounds like you and Dan get pretty down and dirty!

Our problem is we are both so busy that we need to start dedicating time for le sexy time on week nights.

I'm thinking a vacation in the near future is in order....

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Posted

yeah the g/f and i pretty much have to schedule our frolicking, which does suck the spontaneity of it, but it allows me to prepare a grand production :D

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Posted

It's sex, not a space shuttle launch!

That's what American Pie taught us. Must be true.

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Posted

i treat it more like an off day workout

best way to get to those lower abs

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