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Surrogate offered $10,000 to abort baby

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(CNN) -- Crystal Kelley ran through the calendar once again in her head.
It was August, and if she got pregnant soon, she could avoid carrying during the hot summer months -- she'd done that before and didn't want to do it again. There was no time to lose.
But there was one problem: She had no one to get her pregnant.
Kelley picked up the phone and called a familiar number. What about the nice single man who'd inquired before -- would he be interested? No, the woman told her. She hadn't heard from him in weeks.
Surrogate mom offered $10K to abort baby
Disappointed, Kelley asked if there was anyone else who would hire her. She'd had two miscarriages herself and wanted to help someone else with fertility problems. Plus, she really needed the $22,000 fee.
Hold on, the woman said, let me see.
Yes, she said, there was a couple who wanted to meet her. Was she ready to take down their e-mail address?
Absolutely, Kelley answered.
A playground meeting
Most surrogacies have happy endings, and this one should have too -- with a couple welcoming a new baby into their home and Kelley enjoying her fee, plus the satisfaction that she'd helped another family.
Instead, it ended with legal actions, a secretive flight to another state, and a frenzied rush to find parents for a fragile baby.
After speaking with the surrogacy agency, Kelley, then 29, arranged to meet the couple at a playground near her home in Vernon, Connecticut, a suburb of Hartford. When she arrived, she liked what she saw. The couple was caring and attentive with their three children, who were sweet and well-mannered and played nicely with her own two daughters. The couple desperately wanted a fourth child, but the mother couldn't have any more babies. Yes, Kelley told them right then and there. Yes, I will have a child for you.
CNN made several unsuccessful attempts to contact the couple by phone and e-mail.
The couple had conceived their children through in-vitro fertilization and had two frozen embryos left over. Doctors thawed them out and on October 8, 2011, put them in Kelley's uterus.
About 10 days later, a blood test showed she was pregnant -- one of the embryos had taken.
Kelley and the parents were thrilled, and over the next few weeks, the mother was attentive and caring. When Kelley had morning sickness the mother called every day to see how she was feeling. She gave Kelley and Kelley's daughters Christmas presents. When Kelley couldn't make rent, the mother made sure she got her monthly surrogate fee a few days early.
"She said, 'I want you to come to us with anything because you're going to be part of our lives forever,' " Kelley remembers.
The highs and lows of foreign surrogacy
'There's something wrong with the baby'
"Congratulations! You made it half through!" the mother emailed Kelley on February 6.
It was one of the last friendly e-mails between Kelley and the woman who'd hired her.
A few days later, Kelley, five months pregnant, had a routine ultrasound to make sure the baby was developing properly. The ultrasound technician struggled to see the baby's tiny heart and asked her to come back the next week when the baby would be more developed.
At that next ultrasound, the technician said it was still hard to see the heart and asked Kelley to go to Hartford Hospital, where they could do a higher-level ultrasound.
Apparently, there was more to it than that.
As Kelley was driving home, her cell phone rang. It was the baby's mother.
"She kept saying, 'There's something wrong with the baby. There's something wrong with the baby. What are we going to do?' " Kelley remembers. "She was frantic. She was panicking."
Then the midwife called. She told Kelley the ultrasound showed the baby had a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in her brain and serious heart defects. They couldn't see a stomach or a spleen.
The next ultrasound was three days away, and Kelley grew increasingly anxious with each passing day. By the time she walked into Hartford Hospital on February 16, 2012, she was 21 weeks pregnant and "absolutely terrified" of what the ultrasound would show and what the parents' reaction would be.
An emotional standoff
With the parents standing behind her, the ultrasound technician at the hospital put the wand on Kelley's stomach. The test confirmed her worst fears: It showed the baby did have a cleft lip and palate, a cyst in the brain, and a complex heart abnormality.
The doctors explained the baby would need several heart surgeries after she was born. She would likely survive the pregnancy, but had only about a 25% chance of having a "normal life," Kelley remembers the doctors saying.
In a letter to Kelley's midwife, Dr. Elisa Gianferrari, a maternal fetal medicine specialist at Hartford Hospital, and Leslie Ciarleglio, a genetic counselor, described what happened next.
"Given the ultrasound findings, (the parents) feel that the interventions required to manage (the baby's medical problems) are overwhelming for an infant, and that it is a more humane option to consider pregnancy termination," they wrote.
Kelley disagreed.
"Ms. Kelley feels that all efforts should be made to 'give the baby a chance' and seems adamantly opposed to termination," they wrote.
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http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/04/health/surrogacy-kelley-legal-battle/?hpt=hp_c1

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I don't understand people sometimes...

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[quote name='Sheikh Zula' timestamp='1362502983' post='2151759']
what a collosal *****

(the surrogate)
[/quote]


So other people should tell her what to do with her body ?

How Evalgelical Republican of you.

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everyone would do well to read the rest of the article.

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[quote name='Kurb' timestamp='1362505119' post='2151800']


So other people should tell her what to do with her body ?

How Evalgelical Republican of you.
[/quote]
[quote name='mmmbeans' timestamp='1362505596' post='2151805']
everyone would do well to read the rest of the article.
[/quote]
.

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A couple of things...

The surrogate should have been bound by the contract she signed... I'm against abortion, but those problems did seem like they met the contract stipulations of "severe".

This couple that used the surrogate obviously weren't very smart... they'd already lost other children with pre-natal problems... why not just adopt?

The whole situation is screwed up and that poor little girl is in the middle... at least they found a loving couple to take care of her.


This is the thing that gets me about abortion...

[quote]Her adoptive parents know some people look at her and see a baby born to suffer -- a baby who's suffering could have been prevented with an abortion.[/quote]

To me there's no difference in abortion in utero and killing this little girl now... just my opinion.

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[quote name='Sheikh Zula]
.
[/quote]

[quote] how evangelical republican of you.[/quote]

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didn't even have to say much of anything before kurb starts to infer sh*t

not surprising if you look at his first response

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All of this surrogate mother bullshit is not good science.

It is my opinion that 'un-natural' pregnancies, although could be perfected in the future... are not quite complete science yet. The strongest sperm gets to the egg first in natural conception. Their is a reason for this I believe, so that the baby has strong healthy genes from both parents.

If you just use a sperm 'sample' there is no guarantee that is the healthiest and most genetically complete sample is used, as opposed to the competitive environment the sperm is introduced to during natural conception.

Anyway, there are plenty of healthy and sick babies and children around the world to be adopted and loved. Why do people go through all of this just in a vain attempt at genetic offspring?

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Why do people vainly continue to have children when it's obvious that we really don't need to increase the population at all?

We're slaves to our natural desires.

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Not really any of your business.

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[quote name='nc_biscuit' timestamp='1362506934' post='2151823']
A couple of things...

The surrogate should have been bound by the contract she signed... I'm against abortion, but those problems did seem like they met the contract stipulations of "severe".

This couple that used the surrogate obviously weren't very smart... they'd already lost other children with pre-natal problems... why not just adopt?

The whole situation is screwed up and that poor little girl is in the middle... at least they found a loving couple to take care of her.


This is the thing that gets me about abortion...



To me there's no difference in abortion in utero and killing this little girl now... just my opinion.
[/quote]



regarding the morality of abortion in this scenario, the question (imo) is: "is ANY life (regardless of circumstance) better than no life?"

the legal quagmire notwithstanding, do we believe that being trapped in a broken body is better than no life at all?

IMO, this isn't about killing a little girl, this is about human dignity... looking at death and honestly asking yourself if that was you... would you want someone to keep you alive? Because the reality is, she'd already be dead without modern medicine. From a religious standpoint, God killed her already.

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[quote name='mmmbeans' timestamp='1362517255' post='2151959']




regarding the morality of abortion in this scenario, the question (imo) is: "is ANY life (regardless of circumstance) better than no life?"

the legal quagmire notwithstanding, do we believe that being trapped in a broken body is better than no life at all?

IMO, this isn't about killing a little girl, this is about human dignity... looking at death and honestly asking yourself if that was you... would you want someone to keep you alive? Because the reality is, she'd already be dead without modern medicine. From a religious standpoint, God killed her already.
[/quote]

That's a question I'm not sure I can answer. Would I personally prefer to be dead (aka not exist at all if killed by abortion) than living the life she's living? I don't know that I can answer that. My first response is that no I probably wouldn't, but can you make that decision for someone else, anyone else, everyone else? I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that if asked that question would have a different answer than mine and yours. Is it fair to make that decision for them?

Plus that brings up a whole lot of other things... how much deformity is too much? What is an "acceptable" existence?

...and I'm certainly not looking at this from a religious standpoint. I'm sure there are many that will though.

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[quote name='nc_biscuit' timestamp='1362518371' post='2151975']
That's a question I'm not sure I can answer. Would I personally prefer to be dead (aka not exist at all if killed by abortion) than living the life she's living? I don't know that I can answer that. My first response is that no I probably wouldn't, but can you make that decision for someone else, anyone else, everyone else? I'm sure there are plenty of people out there that if asked that question would have a different answer than mine and yours. Is it fair to make that decision for them?

Plus that brings up a whole lot of other things... how much deformity is too much? What is an "acceptable" existence?

...and I'm certainly not looking at this from a religious standpoint. I'm sure there are many that will though.
[/quote]

but haven't you made the decision already? allowing medicine to keep her alive IS the decision. they wouldn't have had to abort for this child to have died... that would've been done to lessen the pain both physical and psychological of all parties... The decision HAS to be made for them, just like many of us have or will face the decision of pulling the plug on our parents/significant others, and just like someone will have to decide for us. It isn't fair to cast judgement on those who've made what is probably the hardest decision of their lives and then defer your own answer.

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[quote name='mmmbeans' timestamp='1362518970' post='2151979']


but haven't you made the decision already? allowing medicine to keep her alive IS the decision. they wouldn't have had to abort for this child to have died... that would've been done to lessen the pain both physical and psychological of all parties... The decision HAS to be made for them, just like many of us have or will face the decision of pulling the plug on our parents/significant others, and just like someone will have to decide for us. It isn't fair to cast judgement on those who've made what is probably the hardest decision of their lives and then defer your own answer.
[/quote]

In this case, yes I agree. Had she not had those operations after she was born, she would not have lived. But it's still not that clear cut. We are capable of saving her life and keeping her alive. Some would say that her existence isn't worth it, some would say it is... what would she say? Do we know? What is "worth it" for me and you, isn't the same for someone else.

It still also doesn't answer the other question... say a kid is going to be born with a defect that is correctable via medical technology and without it they'll die, but with it they'll live a normal life... are they worth it?

What if they'll live an "almost" normal life? Are they worth it? Tough questions with no good answers imo.


I also think that there is a very distinct difference between a child that has yet to live a life and an adult that you may have to decide to "pull the plug" on.

That adult has A ) had a chance to live and B ) more than likely now, had a chance to choose if they want to be saved or not.

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I have a friend whose granddaughter was born with all kinds of medical conditions. She was not expected to live beyond a few months. As a matter of fact, she was almost lost to miscarriage a couple of times, but modern medicine intervened and she was born, premature and with loads of deformities and afflictions. By all accounts, she should never have been born, and many encouraged her mother to let nature take its course or to have an abortion, given the "kind of life" her child was "destined" to have. The child has had a trach throughout her life, she is nearly deaf, and she suffers a number of other difficulties.

She miraculously has lived more than 11 years now, and has an extremely full and happy life - she's quick-witted and funny, intelligent and caring, and extremely understanding (though sad) that many children (and adults) find her "handicaps" too difficult to look at or deal with. Mature beyond her years, and she's been a joy to her family and most who meet her.

When Make-A-Wish offered her a wish, she couldn't have what she wanted -- to swim. Her trach prevents that. So, they sent her to Disneyworld,and said she could take her best friend with her. Because of her difficulties, and children being children, she doesn't have a "best friend," ... except for her grandmother, my friend. So, she took Grammy and they had a blast. Sweet Gracie only realized that her condition is "terminal" when she asked what Make-A-Wish was all about.

Now, she has a condition where her lungs fill with fluid and she has painful growths, etc., so she has to undergo surgical procedures quite often and she's in almost constant pain. Who knows how much longer she has ... she wasn't supposed to be born at all, she wasn't supposed to live long after she was born, and certainly not live years ... not 11 years .... but she has had a "good" life by her own standards, and I doubt she would have chosen death or no life over the life she has had, albeit brief and painful.

I know it's just anecdotal, but it's an example of how we can't assume anything, how miracles can happen, and how life is not something to be taken lightly when deciding to deprive it or end it.
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[quote name='nc_biscuit' timestamp='1362519193' post='2151983']
In this case, yes I agree. Had she not had those operations after she was born, she would not have lived. But it's still not that clear cut. We are capable of saving her life and keeping her alive. Some would say that her existence isn't worth it, some would say it is... what would she say? Do we know? What is "worth it" for me and you, isn't the same for someone else.

It still also doesn't answer the other question... say a kid is going to be born with a defect that is correctable via medical technology and without it they'll die, but with it they'll live a normal life... are they worth it?

What if they'll live an "almost" normal life? Are they worth it? Tough questions with no good answers imo.


I also think that there is a very distinct difference between a child that has yet to live a life and an adult that you may have to decide to "pull the plug" on.

That adult has A ) had a chance to live and B ) more than likely now, had a chance to choose if they want to be saved or not.
[/quote]

there may be distinct differences for you, idealistically... but that life is the only one that person has... regardless of age... I think some of us may be more satisfied with their lives than others but i don't think anyone is eager to take that long walk... doesn't matter who it is, they're losing everything they were or will be. I think a lot of this hinges on a personal belief about what death IS as well...

We both acknowledge that this isn't a black and white issue, this is a lose-lose situation for everyone involved (except the surrogate who got paid to take the moral high-ground with no consequences whatsoever.) i don't know what the right answer is in this situation... I can't imagine having to make that decision.

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[quote name='Panthers_Lover' timestamp='1362519834' post='2151996']
I have a friend whose granddaughter was born with all kinds of medical conditions. She was not expected to live beyond a few months. As a matter of fact, she was almost lost to miscarriage a couple of times, but modern medicine intervened and she was born, premature and with loads of deformities and afflictions. By all accounts, she should never have been born, and many encouraged her mother to let nature take its course or to have an abortion, given the "kind of life" her child was "destined" to have. The child has had a trach throughout her life, she is nearly deaf, and she suffers a number of other difficulties.

She miraculously has lived more than 11 years now, and has an extremely full and happy life - she's quick-witted and funny, intelligent and caring, and extremely understanding (though sad) that many children (and adults) find her "handicaps" too difficult to look at or deal with. Mature beyond her years, and she's been a joy to her family and most who meet her.

When Make-A-Wish offered her a wish, she couldn't have what she wanted -- to swim. Her trach prevents that. So, they sent her to Disneyworld,and said she could take her best friend with her. Because of her difficulties, and children being children, she doesn't have a "best friend," ... except for her grandmother, my friend. So, she took Grammy and they had a blast. Sweet Gracie only realized that her condition is "terminal" when she asked what Make-A-Wish was all about.

Now, she has a condition where her lungs fill with fluid and she has painful growths, etc., so she has to undergo surgical procedures quite often and she's in almost constant pain. Who knows how much longer she has ... she wasn't supposed to be born at all, she wasn't supposed to live long after she was born, and certainly not live years ... not 11 years .... but she has had a "good" life by her own standards, and I doubt she would have chosen death or no life over the life she has had, albeit brief and painful.

I know it's just anecdotal, but it's an example of how we can't assume anything, how miracles can happen, and how life is not something to be taken lightly when deciding to deprive it or end it.
[/quote]

kid sounds like a f*cking trooper. that's really wonderful and heartbreaking at once... made me tear up.

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This was a great story, but I am puzzled that there is not more conservative outrage at this woman breaking her legally binding contract in favor of touchy feely emotions. Legally binding contracts, as we all know, are the cornerstone of capitalism.

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[quote name='cookinwithgas' timestamp='1362536808' post='2152205']
This was a great story, but I am puzzled that there is not more conservative outrage at this woman breaking her legally binding contract in favor of touchy feely emotions.[b] Legally binding contracts, as we all know, are the cornerstone of capitalism.[/b]
[/quote]

ah yes

see also: the fight conservatives brought to the doorstep of those who would dare interfere with the market through "right to work" legislation

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[quote name='mmmbeans' timestamp='1362520646' post='2152001']

kid sounds like a f*cking trooper. that's really wonderful and heartbreaking at once... made me tear up.
[/quote]

She absolutely is a trooper. Whenever I complain about my old-age aches and pains, I try to remember all that Gracie is going through and will go through during her very young/short life.

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Delhommey is Illuminati.

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