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A crime that you have committed that you are willing to confess to committing.


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#61 Kurb

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 07:27 AM

I lied in a thread about crimes once.

#62 Bronn

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 08:00 AM

The list is too long and I don't trust any of you enough.

#63 ARSEN

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 08:23 AM

Its only a crime if you got caught.

#64 Hawk

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 10:17 AM

when I was 14 I got really drunk and set off a smoke bomb in the town movie theater. In hindsite, that building was probably 100 yeard old back then, probably not a really good idea. It cleared the place out pretty damn fast. I got caught and got in some pretty major crap for it.

#65 KendrickPanther

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 10:56 AM

I once bought a ticket to the movie theater and stayed all day watching different movies with different girls. The switch was a little awkward but it worked.

#66 CatofWar

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 02:19 PM

This wasn't a crime it was self defense but one time I blew a crackheads leg completely off with a sawed off double barrell shot gun. Broke into my house and was acting crazy throwing junk at me and trying to harm me. I was on the phone with the cops and the whole thing was caught on video. I knew in self defense you were not allowed to shoot in the back and there are some other rules on that. But I blew his leg off. I got off clean and was told I did the right thing. My house was bloody and they found his femer bone in my yard. He got his leg connected back together and apparently has gotten his life straight. Moral of the story, don't break into my house.

Oh and I'm also guilty of illegally downloading music and movies


Lol bullshit.

#67 Smitty Is Our Savior

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 02:33 PM

It's over. He walks back to his room as his dad finishes yelling at him, and he's still sniffling. We're all sitting in his room and he walks in, still crying, sniffling... He shuts the door and immediately, his demeanor changes. His face straightens up and he is showing no signs of physical or mental trauma, lol. We were like, "Why aren't you still crying? Didn't your dad beat you?" He smiles and says, "Yeah, man I wasn't serious. I just do all that to make him feel like he's doing something so he'll stop spanking me." We all laugh.


That's exactly what I would do when I got the belt. I'm really good with pain, but I'd pretend to be like "AHHH NO!!!" just so he'd stop hahaha. Great strategy.

#68 Cary Kollins

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 02:36 PM

This wasn't a crime it was self defense but one time I blew a crackheads leg completely off with a sawed off double barrell shot gun. Broke into my house and was acting crazy throwing junk at me and trying to harm me. I was on the phone with the cops and the whole thing was caught on video. I knew in self defense you were not allowed to shoot in the back and there are some other rules on that. But I blew his leg off. I got off clean and was told I did the right thing. My house was bloody and they found his femer bone in my yard. He got his leg connected back together and apparently has gotten his life straight. Moral of the story, don't break into my house.

Oh and I'm also guilty of illegally downloading music and movies


I'm no Matlock, but isn't a sawed off considered a weapon of mass destruction?



#69 CatofWar

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 03:09 PM

I'm no Matlock, but isn't a sawed off considered a weapon of mass destruction?


Depends on the length. That story is so full of poo I'm surprised no one else has called him out on it.

#70 Happy Panther

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 03:42 PM

Nothing as crazy as most of you. My buddies and I went on a sign stealing spree one summer. Where I am from there are all sorts of dumbass names for towns and stupid road names. Bubba Ln as an example.
Anyway I had a trunk full one time and came to a checkpoint...turned around in the middle of the road.

But a few months later were driving home hammered from bowling with a 24 of cheap beer and decided to go steal a street sign with my buddies last name literally in the crack section of town. After 5 minutes of trying the cops showed up...like 5 cop cars. they pulled us out, questioned us and finally said "can you drive straight home?"

Talk about cool cops.

I have also purchased and smoked weed.

#71 Zcustom

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 04:04 PM

This thread makes me feel lame.

This is all I've got

-Accidental Shoplifting

-Gang rape

-Money Laundering

-Vehicular Manslaughter (I got a bum rap)


Ok only one of those is true, guess which one?

#72 Hawk

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 04:17 PM

you mixed up the gang rape and bum rap!!!

#73 boo7382

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 08:58 PM

Some of you are crazy, that breaking into houses stuff is creepy as poo. You're lucky you didn't get shot!

Also I just cried laughing at Daddy Uncles story

#74 SOJA

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Posted 01 April 2013 - 10:32 PM

nice try FBI agent.....


anyways when I was little I used to shoplift pens from places like Staples because I thought it was fuging exhilarating.

Then one day some guy I know found a north face jacket outside of school on the ground. It was a women's small and clearly didn't fit him at all, yet he still took it. Something fundamentally changed in me that day that made me despise stealing. Source: I actually buy my condoms instead of shoplifting them from walmart.

However......one day this past summer in a Walmart somewhere in the NC/SC region, I saw this beautiful bad boy propped up in front of dozens of cases of Pepsi
Posted Image

This thing is huge, close to six feet tall. It was at that moment I knew I had to have it. So, I went up to a Walmart employee and asked if I could possibly purchase said poster, or come back once they were no longer using and planning on throwing it out. Well, I'm not sure what I expecting from the Walmart team because no one knew what I was talking about. By now my four other friends were ready to leave and getting antsy, so I told them to bring their truck up in front of the store.

After a quick glance around I saw no employees, so I grabbed this gigantic piece of fandom and walked out as casually as possible. Right as I walk out the main door, a Walmart employee is standing there. He looks at me dumbfounded, and I just smile and proceed to shove this in the back seat of my friends car. I slam the door and we drive off into the distance, me thinking for sure that I'm banned from Walmart.

Nothing was ever said, but I did almost ruin the poster when I threw a water bottle against a wall when Rodney White caught that deep pass over Nakamura in Atlanta. I spent the rest of the game drying my precious.

#75 boo7382

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Posted 02 April 2013 - 12:31 PM

Not saying I haven't done some bad poo.....but if someone was in my house I would definitely be getting the gun that's so scary!


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