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Zod

Deangelo Unleashed - Win this photo

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A girl goes into her father's study, "Daddy, why am I named rose?"

"Because the day you were born a rose petal blew through the window and landed on your forehead."

Satisfied the girl walks out as her sister walks in. "Daddy, why am I named Velvet?"

"Because the day you were born my velvet handkerchief fell out of my pocket and landed on you ."

Satisfied the girl walks out as her sister walks in. "Daddy, why am I named Daisy?"

"Because the day you were--"

"HUAAAARWAWAWAAAAAA"

"SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK I'M TALKING TO YOUR SISTER."

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Captain Morgan    11,469

In honor of his restructuring, I am giving way an exclusive print of this photo featuring Deangelo Williams...

 

deangelo-williams.jpg

 

NO MORE JALAPENO BURRITOS!!!

 

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Fan01    548

One day, a twelve year old boy walks into a brothel, dragging a dead frog behind him. The Madam asks "Can I help you son?" to which he replies, "Yes I'd like a girl for the night."

She says "I'm afraid you are too young for one of my girls." So he gets out his wallet and gives her $200. To which she says "She'll be waiting for you up stairs."

The boy says "But she's got to have herpes."

The Madam replies "But all my girls are clean!" So out comes the wallet again and he gives her another $200. The Madam says "OK, she'll be ready for you in about 10 mins".

So he goes up the stairs dragging the dead frog. About 1/2 an hour later he comes down the stairs,with a big grin on his face, still dragging the dead frog. By now the Madam was just a touch curious so she asked him "Why did you come in here, dragging a dead frog and asking for a girl with herpes?".

"Well, it's like this", he says, "When I get home tonight I'll screw the baby-sitter and then she'll get herpes. Then when my parents get home dad will drive her home and on the way they'll stop and have sex, and he'll get herpes. Later when dad gets home mum and dad will make love and then she'll get herpes. And at about 9.30 tomorrow morning, when dad has gone to work, the milkman will come round, screw my mother and then he'll get herpes...
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...AND HE'S THE BASTARD WHO KILLED MY FROG !!!

 

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Rhys    99

Zod, you'd be able to appreciate this given how often the Huddle is down...

 

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Montsta    15,185

Not really funny but this is a true story. I have trained my eleven year old daughter to despise all San Francisco sports teams.

We go in to Togo's one day (west coast sandwich shop, similar to subway), and I give the guy my order and the order for my wife, who is at home waiting for us to come back from softball practice. The guy is making the sandwiches while my daughter is struggling to see over the counter to see whats going on with her A's hat on backward. He finishes the first two sandwiches, then looks over the counter at my daughter and says "and what can I get for you princess?" My daughter asks for a BLT and the guys says "do you want that on white, wheat, or San Francisco style sourdough?" My daughter, the angel she is, flips her Oakland A's cap forward and says, "I'll have it on the white please, I hate San Francisco.

I swear every word of this is a true story. I almost cried.

  • Pie 1

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