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Doc Holiday

The Mythical "Real Job".........DA DA DAAAAAAAA!

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when they ask you what your weaknesses are say something real and how you've improved not some stupid shiat like "i care too much." 

 

that's a character question... they've heard bullshiat answers before.

 

 

and jerk off before you go.

 

I agree with this.

 

You really do need to tell them something real, and how you have worked to get better at that aspect.

 

It's fine to be nervous, but you need to be confident as well, treat it like this is just a formality, and that you already have the job.

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Also a couple more points.  

 

Get some nice clothes, shoes, wear a nice watch, even if borrowed.

 

When picking out clothes, go with the classics, not some trendy bullshit.

 

Eat before you go, and nothing that will upset your stomach.

 

Make sure your car is clean if it's a small office.

 

Turn off your cell phone before you walk into the building.

 

Shave, and leave absolutely no facial hair, including beards, mustaches, or goats.

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If you are asked a question that you are unsure of the meaning behind it, don't be afraid to ask the interviewer to clarify. It's always better to ask them what they mean than to answer poorly or incorrectly. I've been a victim of this, and yeah, it cost me the job because the terminology they used was different than what I was used to, and I didn't answer their question in a way that made sense due to it.

 

 

 

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Everytime I glance in Lounge...I read this thread as "mythical rim job...  da da daaaa"

 

Don't go wrinkled.  Clean, neat, hair neat, and everything will go fine.

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I've found that most of these interviews are just to get to know you. I've been asked the broadest of questions like "where do you see yourself in 10 years." it was more of a conversation than an interview. maybe mine have just been different.  It's okay to be nervous, i was terrified my first real interview.

 

It's also good to know as much as you can about the company beforehand if you haven't already learned some things.

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Different fields have different interview types.  I'm pretty sure my last interview was 90% different than most normal interviews, they tend to almost be another version of your thesis defense.  And that doesn't even include the casting couch.

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1)  Don't use the f-word more than twice

 

2)  dress formally.  If you need a visual you have to look exactly like this including your face and physique:

ryan-gosling-midnight-blue-tuxedo-L-zVFp

 

3)  If they ask you what you biggest strength is say "my pecs"

 

4)  If they ask you what your biggest weakness is tell them "I have a bad habit of destroying the people and their families that don't hire me.  Capisce?"

 

5)  Interviewers like for interviewees to ask questions, so in order to save time answer every question with a question.  If the interviewer gets frustrated and asks why you are doing it tell him/her that you are streamlining the conversation to make it more efficient to save the company money.  Then spend the rest of the interview bragging about how you are already saving the company money and telling him or her there is more where that came from.

 

6)  It is important to develop a rapport with your potential boss.  So if it is a man when he shakes your hand, slap him in the nuts like you would with a frat buddy when you are both wasted and then while he is laying on the ground yell at him  "I got you bro.  I got you!" 

 

If it is a woman break the ice with a super funny joke like "I believe I am here to meet with your boss.  Do you know where I can find him?"

 

You do those 6 things you will be in good shape.  Good luck man

 

 

 

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Breath mints. If you smell to the interviewer you will smell to potential clients and coworkers.

 

Arrive 30 minutes early.

 

Do not talk about family.

 

 

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I'm in sort of in the same position...I have an interview on Friday for internal promotion.  I fricken hate interviews.

 

I'm not sure I agree with the don't talk about family, I think it shows balance...don't talk just about family, don't talk just about work...some bit of a balance.

 

I'm taking some time and googling interview tips, typical questions and getting lots of good ideas out of some of the best answers they've listed and writing lots of notes with my own experiences and responses so that I can review them before I go in...that way, hopefully the retrieval process will be a little easier.  Damn thing is you just never know what they might ask!!!

 

I think my number one tip for you, if you have the job posting, make sure you know all the details and have some thoughts prepared for how you are going to complete the expected tasks.

 

Good luck!!

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also:  when they ask... do you have any questions?  

 

 

HAVE INFORMED QUESTIONS.

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