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The Mythical "Real Job".........DA DA DAAAAAAAA!


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#16 Scrumtrilescent

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 12:17 PM

Different fields have different interview types.  I'm pretty sure my last interview was 90% different than most normal interviews, they tend to almost be another version of your thesis defense.  And that doesn't even include the casting couch.



#17 teeray

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 12:27 PM

1)  Don't use the f-word more than twice

 

2)  dress formally.  If you need a visual you have to look exactly like this including your face and physique:

ryan-gosling-midnight-blue-tuxedo-L-zVFp

 

3)  If they ask you what you biggest strength is say "my pecs"

 

4)  If they ask you what your biggest weakness is tell them "I have a bad habit of destroying the people and their families that don't hire me.  Capisce?"

 

5)  Interviewers like for interviewees to ask questions, so in order to save time answer every question with a question.  If the interviewer gets frustrated and asks why you are doing it tell him/her that you are streamlining the conversation to make it more efficient to save the company money.  Then spend the rest of the interview bragging about how you are already saving the company money and telling him or her there is more where that came from.

 

6)  It is important to develop a rapport with your potential boss.  So if it is a man when he shakes your hand, slap him in the nuts like you would with a frat buddy when you are both wasted and then while he is laying on the ground yell at him  "I got you bro.  I got you!" 

 

If it is a woman break the ice with a super funny joke like "I believe I am here to meet with your boss.  Do you know where I can find him?"

 

You do those 6 things you will be in good shape.  Good luck man

 

 

 



#18 h0llywood

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 12:31 PM

Breath mints. If you smell to the interviewer you will smell to potential clients and coworkers.

 

Arrive 30 minutes early.

 

Do not talk about family.

 

 



#19 Hawk

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 02:46 PM

I'm in sort of in the same position...I have an interview on Friday for internal promotion.  I fricken hate interviews.

 

I'm not sure I agree with the don't talk about family, I think it shows balance...don't talk just about family, don't talk just about work...some bit of a balance.

 

I'm taking some time and googling interview tips, typical questions and getting lots of good ideas out of some of the best answers they've listed and writing lots of notes with my own experiences and responses so that I can review them before I go in...that way, hopefully the retrieval process will be a little easier.  Damn thing is you just never know what they might ask!!!

 

I think my number one tip for you, if you have the job posting, make sure you know all the details and have some thoughts prepared for how you are going to complete the expected tasks.

 

Good luck!!



#20 mmmbeans

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 02:48 PM

also:  when they ask... do you have any questions?  

 

 

HAVE INFORMED QUESTIONS.



#21 thefuzz

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 03:46 PM

also:  when they ask... do you have any questions?  

 

 

HAVE INFORMED QUESTIONS.

 

Agreed.

 

Ask some tough ones.



#22 Doc Holiday

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 06:33 PM

Different fields have different interview types.  I'm pretty sure my last interview was 90% different than most normal interviews, they tend to almost be another version of your thesis defense.  And that doesn't even include the casting couch.

Yeah, I'll say it's atleast not going to be a traditional interview process, but the initial interview is going to be the hardest part to get through at the same time.

 

my application when I turned it in was 53 pages long if that gives you the idea of the type of Job I'm going for, I don't want to get too specific for various reasons as to the who and what.



#23 Bob NC

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 06:43 PM

If they ask where you see yourself in 5 years, say:

 

"In your job, it doesn't look terribly difficult."



#24 Doc Holiday

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Posted 11 June 2013 - 07:01 PM

If they ask where you see yourself in 5 years, say:

 

"In your job, it doesn't look terribly difficult."

lol, actually they would probably like my real answer to that question even less, needless to say while it's going to be my first real Job and everything, I'm going for it more so because the work experience would be an awesome resume builder, for the job I really want but I can't tell them any of that.

 

I'm going to school right now for the Job I really want and taking this job would actually push back my graduation back 1-2 years, but the work experience not to mention the whole actually making some money for once are the main reasons I'm interested in the Job.

 

my dream job is a bit notorious for being hard to get into so I'm hoping this Job + education would let me get the upper hand and get the job i really want 4-5 years from now.



#25 Baby Andy Reid

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 08:23 AM

Everything is a dream job until you are there for a year or two. Eventually you will grow to hate anything you decide to do.

#26 Doc Holiday

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 08:29 AM

Everything is a dream job until you are there for a year or two. Eventually you will grow to hate anything you decide to do.

naw man I worked as a raft guide and jumped seasons for 3 years, only reason I stopped was because you don't make any money doing it, much less make enough to buy a house or start a family with so that's why I stopped but it was a freaking awesome job! Loved it.

#27 boo7382

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 05:42 PM

when they ask you what your weaknesses are say something real and how you've improved not some stupid shiat like "i care too much."

that's a character question... they've heard bullshiat answers before.


and jerk off before you go.


The one I use is that I don't trust other people to do my work or make sure something gets done, but I have improved it in some bs way

#28 Baby Andy Reid

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Posted 12 June 2013 - 06:54 PM

naw man I worked as a raft guide and jumped seasons for 3 years, only reason I stopped was because you don't make any money doing it, much less make enough to buy a house or start a family with so that's why I stopped but it was a freaking awesome job! Loved it.


I guess should have specified. You can like a job, but won't make a living doing it unless you hate it!! Lol

#29 Scrumtrilescent

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Posted 13 June 2013 - 10:42 AM

Totally not true.  At least, for myself.



#30 Zaximus

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Posted 13 June 2013 - 11:21 AM

I think people start hating the people or the company or the policies, but not really the job always.  I've never hated a job that I've had, I just started hating the company and the politics of the workplace, etc.

 

Anyway, for interviewing, dress up appropriately but I would never overdress.  Luckily in the south, people don't always expect suits (depending on which field).  I'm in IT and I have maybe wore a tie once to an interview.  I wear nice shoes (nothing flashy), ironed and nice slacks, and a nice ironed button up shirt.  Ironing is key.  If you can't take 10 minutes to iron your clothes, do you think a company wants you?  I usually go with a solid blue button up shirt.  I would also go clean shaven if you can.  I usually rock out a goatee at all times but I understand that not everyone is OK with facial hair, but everyone is usually OK with clean shaven.  Once you get the job, you can gauge what is OK and what isn't.  

 

Be confident but don't act like the job is yours for the taking.  Show some humility.  They already know your qualifications, now it is time to sell yourself.  And if you don't know this yet, getting a job hangs on qualifications less than you think.    Project yourself as someone that anyone could work with, even if you really aren't, put on your happy face/attitude (but not too much).   I always research the company AND the person interviewing me (if possible).  Lurk their LinkedIn and Facebook if applicable, so you know their interests, religious affiliation, political affiliation. etc, so you have a better idea of what to say and what NOT to say.   Remember, you're selling yourself, so if you can have a non-business conversation about a shared interest (or even BSing like you are into that) that may be the thing that sets you apart from the competition, as in being fresh in the interviewer's mind after talking to 30 or more people.   I've had interviewers bring up political things, either in little comments or whatnot, and I just roll with it, I don't take a stance either way, but make it sound like I care or at least could "possibly" have the same believes.  

 

I think it's ok to mention you are married, but I wouldn't mention kids.  Being married shows you are more grounded (not always but yeah) but kids could mean you aren't dependable and could miss time for sick kids, etc (not always the case either, but you know).  

 

Go in with some questions about the company (after you have researched it), even if you really aren't that interested in it.  It'll show you put some time into the interview and could set you apart.  I usually bring a notebook/notepad with questions and also to write notes down (I usually don't, but it looks good).  You could also bring a couple copies of your resume in case you need to hand some out (bosses aren't always organized, and showing you are, may set you apart).  You at least should have ONE copy of your resume, in case the interviewer asks you something on there and you can't completely remember, so this way you can glance at it.

 

Show enthusiasm, even if it's mostly fake.   It's ok to express the fact that you're very excited about the opportunity, or mention what it could mean for you, you aren't negotiating salary just yet (usually).  Be prepared for the stock questions.  Your biggest strength and weakness question, where do you see yourself in 5 years, past stressful scenarios, etc.  When I interview for IT jobs, a good deal of what they want me to do, I haven't really dealt with it yet, I don't lie, I tell them I haven't had a chance to interact with that software/tech, but I'm excited at the possibility, and I stress that I'm a fast learner and can pickup things on the fly, and provide examples from past jobs.  I'll also write down that software/tech in notes and mention that I'll try to brush up on the information, just to show how motivated I am to land the job that I'll research before even getting an offer (even if you really don't look it up).  

 

Yeah that's TL:DR but I've always regarded myself as an excellent interviewee and I have landed some jobs that I really shouldn't have by just selling myself into it.   




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