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questions on child-rearing


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#31 Cat

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 07:27 AM

Good thing u do.

I would have told my kid to shoot him in the face for spitting on him. Don't judge my parenting, u don't know my kid, all kids are different.

#32 Zod

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 07:30 AM

You guys write some books after you have raised kids. Just becuase you now have a newborn, does not mean you totally understand parenting or all kids. No child is like another child and you don't get a set of microwave instructions that work for every one.

And you that don't have kids but are giving advice, go back to bed.

 

I have twin 10 year olds too nimrod. I have every right to give an opinion on what to do with a 5 year old. The guy started a thread asking for opinions, I gave one because I went through it, twice.



#33 Happy Panther

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 07:50 AM

When my oldest (somewhat of a pacifist) was 6 or 7 he had a seatmate on the bus who was too physical. He would pinch him in the back everyday. I asked my son if he wanted to try to handle it himself and surprisingly he said yes. So we coached him on the right way to handle it. He asked the kid politely to stop. The next day he explained that he didn't like it and asked more sternly. Third day he said very sternly to stop.

 

Anyway the kid kept messing with him and we simply had him moved to sit with someone else. The new kid became his best friend.

 

Even though the "bully" didn't stop our kid learned a lot by trying to handle it by himself. Never did we consider retaliation.

 

Not sure if we are good parents but our son seemed happy with the situation overall.



#34 Happy Panther

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 07:58 AM

I guess my philosophy is that you will not be around for the majority of these conflicts. Kids are pretty much on their own and all you can do is hopefully give them the tools and confidence to do the right thing.



#35 stirs

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:22 AM

I have twin 10 year olds too nimrod. I have every right to give an opinion on what to do with a 5 year old. The guy started a thread asking for opinions, I gave one because I went through it, twice.


My point being, nimrod or not, that his kid is not yours. You raised your guys and know them well. Quick advice on what YOU would do, might not work on his kid.

If you sternly tell a class full of kids the same thing, half of them will understand, the other half wont' be listening or will be daydreaming or talking to a friend or needing to pee.

All I am saying as that a clear set of instructions does not come with each kid.

I am also a bit amused that after visiting the Huddle, he would come here for advice. Maybe on which is the best lawn mower, yes, but how to raise a kid?

I will bet Zod, that your newborn will be totally different from your older guys.
All good, but your tact might have to change with the new one to achieve the same good results. Nobodys fault, just that you will see you have a whole new guy that takes instructions differently.

No offense,
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Nimrod

#36 Zod

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:39 AM

My point being, nimrod or not, that his kid is not yours. You raised your guys and know them well. Quick advice on what YOU would do, might not work on his kid.

If you sternly tell a class full of kids the same thing, half of them will understand, the other half wont' be listening or will be daydreaming or talking to a friend or needing to pee.

All I am saying as that a clear set of instructions does not come with each kid.

I am also a bit amused that after visiting the Huddle, he would come here for advice. Maybe on which is the best lawn mower, yes, but how to raise a kid?

I will bet Zod, that your newborn will be totally different from your older guys.
All good, but your tact might have to change with the new one to achieve the same good results. Nobodys fault, just that you will see you have a whole new guy that takes instructions differently.

No offense,
signed
Nimrod



Yes not all kids are the same.

But there are a general set of ideals and behaviors that ALL kids should be taught.

A few:


- don't bite/hit/kick others
- don't take what doesn't belong to you
- don't make fun of others

I feel like these are a pretty simple base line of behaviors that are extremely easy to instill in a child yet so many parents fail miserably.

It's almost as if today's societal incompetence extends also to parenting.

#37 Floppin

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:42 AM

I'm pretty sure there's not a "type" of child for which "Punch that bitch in the face" would be sound advice to give them.



#38 Zod

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:44 AM

I'm pretty sure there's not a "type" of child for which "Punch that bitch in the face" would be sound advice to give them.


The world will always need rose guys that turn the slow/stop sign at construction sites.

#39 stirs

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:46 AM

From the mouths of babes.....


Zod, I know you hate conservatives, but let's see where you land when you are 50.

You are teaching toddlers "responsibility" in hopes that they will become productive members of society.

Your kid, I dare say, will most likely adjust well and not be a taker of other toys when older, a spitter in the face of people not like him, etc. He will look back and say, "I was brought up to do things such and such a way because there are a set of rules that govern how you are to act".

Anyway, I know that gives you nightmares, but sounds like you are being a responsible adult and Dad and your kids will benefit greatly.

Yes, this is the best template.

#40 Zod

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:50 AM

I like it when I am called a hater of conservatives and a conservative racist in the same forum. Makes me think I am right down the middle.

#41 MadHatter

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 08:57 AM

I would have shamed the parents. Nothing like shaming a parent in front of their kid, kind of makes the parent not want to go through that again.

Our society needs more judging and shaming. Every behavior is not ok.


This is exactly what I would have done.

#42 stirs

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 09:37 AM

you might be dealing with the kind of parent where that makes no difference.

they seem unattached to what their kid does anyway and would probably challenge you to a fight, or, spit in your face?

just sayin

#43 carpantherfan84

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 09:52 AM

I posted in here so that I could get a feel about how parents feel about spitting, either with their kids or others. Well I guess I should have known better, lol.

 

Anyways, I would like to make it clear that I am not interested in being the social police for other kids. I dont believe  in parenting other peoples children. I would be irate if someone felt necessary to correct my child. I speak to him in a certain way. I never talk to him out of anger, I try with maybe 65 percent success to not raise my voice even when chastising him. I see a child that would give his heart to make someone feel better.  Trust that I am not giving a little devil an excuse, I am giving an angel a shield. I know my son, even at this age I can see the type of man he might become. I know that their will be things in his life that I cant for see, but I want him to know that a fight is not the worst thing in the world and to not fear confrontation. If you dont like how I am doing it, you can teach your child not to spit, hit or whatever and they should be able to play just fine. 



#44 carpantherfan84

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 10:12 AM

you might be dealing with the kind of parent where that makes no difference.

they seem unattached to what their kid does anyway and would probably challenge you to a fight, or, spit in your face?

just sayin

See that is exactly my point. A similar situation happened at a monkey joes a few months ago.  My son was on one of the bouncing slides with several other kids. I am watching his every move from just out of view. I notice the other kids getting kind of rough, at times pushing my son. My son noticed it as well and took great care to avoid them. Nothing to serious, but not every kid involved was a willing participant.  One of the most rambunctious fell down.  One or two of the other kids started jumping on him and he cryed out. My son was just getting back on to the step part of the bouncing thing, along with several other kids.  The kids father, looking like he felt necessary to booze up before going to watch his kids play, jumped onto the steps and began to yell at my son. Within a half second I was on the scene. I rushed to the scene and my terrified child jumped into my arms. Simultaneously, I looked at the guy and informed him in a none to polite and just as loud as he, to not fuggin yell at my child. Like many of the people on here, he felt necessary to allow his kid to misbehave, then chastise other kids for responding.  He of course shrunk back into his skin, babbling something about an apology while his slightly less drunk wife tried to shuffle him away as some of the attendees had rushed to the scene.  After asking my son if he was okay and tickling and joking with him to get his comfort level back, he gave me a hug and continued to play.

 

Parents are the worst ones, but you know what? some just dont care. I will not feel guilty for trying to teach my son to defend himself. If the son is anything like the father I want my son to break his fuggin jaw, whenever he is old enough to do so.



#45 stirs

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Posted 29 June 2013 - 10:16 AM

There is nothing like having a child, nothing.

Responsibility and Reward and all that goes with it.

And when they are 20, you are still trying to help them avoid the pitfalls that will come their way.

Keep at it, you are doing fine.


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