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PhillyB

I'm crafting a carefully-written letter to Jerry Richardson. What should I say?

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should i hand-write it to show careful craftmanship and dedication to my cause as well as a homage to the communcative modes of days gone by, or print it up on expensive cardstock and professional headers to show him i'm a serious, sophisticated weight-slinging fan?

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should i hand-write it to show careful craftmanship and dedication to my cause as well as a homage to the communcative modes of days gone by, or print it up on expensive cardstock and professional headers to show him i'm a serious, sophisticated weight-slinging fan?

Write it in panther blood, obtained from the NC Zoo of course.

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Write it in panther blood, obtained from the NC Zoo of course.

should i smear it ominously in spiked, streaking letters across a black page or channel it into an inkwell and pen it flourishingly with a quill?

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tell him I'm tired of those Scotty Mc querry BoJangles commericials

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If JR invited me to dinner...I don't think I'd be able to be a dick. I'd be too starstruck. I'd have to comment that RR obviously can't get it done, but I don't know how much bitching I'd be able to do. JR is genuinely a nice guy from what I can see so it would be hard to be as vehement as we are on the Huddle. Anonymity will do that...

 

Juses Crust

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If JR invited me to dinner...I don't think I'd be able to be a dick. I'd be too starstruck. I'd have to comment that RR obviously can't get it done, but I don't know how much bitching I'd be able to do. JR is genuinely a nice guy from what I can see so it would be hard to be as vehement as we are on the Huddle. Anonymity will do that...

 

Juses Crust

 

i doubt i'll actually get an audience with him, i'm mostly just typing up something that's been years in coming (from myself as well as our fanbase collectively.) i'll leave him my contact info, so if he calls me or offers to meet me (a long shot for sure) i'll post the transcript here.

 

i'll be shocked by anything other than the company line though. jerry has made a living off of wheedling average fans into big smiles and ticket sales in spite of peddling an inferior product.

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i'm taking an angle aimed at shifting perception of his priorities and social responsibility to provide a winning football team given the prevalence of it in american culture

also he's getting up there in age so i'm providing maudlin blaise pascal quotes and lines from the gladiator to give him some existential perspective

Or you can Mosaic Cosmotology him!! Wait

Mosaic Cosmopolitan Talk with him or...uh..

Myopic Catipillar speak to him...

Damn your smart Phillyb....i have to bust out a Thesaurus to decipher your posts sometimes....ya know bc of Mandolin Bullion quotes.

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Or you can Mosaic Cosmotology him!! Wait

Mosaic Cosmopolitan Talk with him or...uh..

Myopic Catipillar speak to him...

Damn your smart Phillyb....i have to bust out a Thesaurus to decipher your posts sometimes....ya know bc of Mandolin Bullion quotes.

 

dear jerry,

 

a myopic caterpillar would serve as a better right tackle than byron bell. please sign at once.

 

phillyb

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I don't know what maudlin means but the rest is common vocabulary

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