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I'm crafting a carefully-written letter to Jerry Richardson. What should I say?



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#31 PhillyB

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:29 PM

i'm taking an angle aimed at shifting perception of his priorities and social responsibility to provide a winning football team given the prevalence of it in american culture

 

also he's getting up there in age so i'm providing maudlin blaise pascal quotes and lines from the gladiator to give him some existential perspective



#32 mav1234

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:34 PM

I'd ask his mail screener how he enjoys his job.

My guess: That's the only person who's going to wind up reading it.

 

I don't know.  In 2010, he reached out to a lot of fans that had sent in letters unhappy with how the team was going.



#33 FattyFatFat

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:36 PM

Send him this.

 

 



#34 Cary Kollins

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:41 PM

i'm taking an angle aimed at shifting perception of his priorities and social responsibility to provide a winning football team given the prevalence of it in american culture

also he's getting up there in age so i'm providing maudlin blaise pascal quotes and lines from the gladiator to give him some existential perspective


There's your answer. Nothing but gladiator quotes.

#35 Marguide

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 05:51 PM

Philly, you are a smart guy and I´m sure you could produce a very well written and very well thought out letter.

 

That said, if JR has no clue there is something fundamentally wrong in Pantherland, chances are nothing you could write is liable to get through to his calcified grey matter.



#36 Jmac

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:01 PM

Maybe that's the plan...Get the fans so pissed off and apathetic that he can pull the vans up and move out in the night.. I bet Nogales Mexico would love to have his team....bullfights and glorious Panthers football..suggest that to him

#37 Mr. Scot

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:04 PM

I don't know. In 2010, he reached out to a lot of fans that had sent in letters unhappy with how the team was going.


Pretty sure those were screened first.

Honestly, anyone who gets the volume of mail that an NFL team owner gets is going to need someone to screen it.

There pretty much aren't any Lamar Hunt types these days.

#38 Growl

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:05 PM

There's your answer. Nothing but gladiator quotes.

 

The best part is that Jerry just discovered film cinema like a week and a half ago so he isn't due to find out they are ripped quotes for like another 7 decades



#39 PantherGuy

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:08 PM

I've actually been thinking of writing a letter to him myself. What's his address?



#40 SOJA

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:26 PM

Dear JR,

 

Football is a business. But business isn't football.

 

Signed,

 

A random dude on the internet



#41 PhillyB

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:34 PM

should i hand-write it to show careful craftmanship and dedication to my cause as well as a homage to the communcative modes of days gone by, or print it up on expensive cardstock and professional headers to show him i'm a serious, sophisticated weight-slinging fan?



#42 Cary Kollins

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:38 PM

should i hand-write it to show careful craftmanship and dedication to my cause as well as a homage to the communcative modes of days gone by, or print it up on expensive cardstock and professional headers to show him i'm a serious, sophisticated weight-slinging fan?


Write it in panther blood, obtained from the NC Zoo of course.

#43 PhillyB

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:42 PM

Write it in panther blood, obtained from the NC Zoo of course.


should i smear it ominously in spiked, streaking letters across a black page or channel it into an inkwell and pen it flourishingly with a quill?



#44 jackson113

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:47 PM

tell him I'm tired of those Scotty Mc querry BoJangles commericials



#45 Dpantherman

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Posted 16 September 2013 - 06:58 PM

Make sure you include the words "hookers" and "blow"