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Big A

Panthers suck

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bitch please. i spend my mornings discussing ontology and historiographic methods and foucauldian theory with my homies at university because there's no life like nerd life. i spend my afternoons eating black bean burritos at old towne draught house and drinking pints of pale ale and catching up with my football team on the carolina huddle dot com. i spend my evenings slinging bottles and talking poo about football with patrons from across the country and writing papers when it's slow and swearing at sportscenter and getting paid for all of it. i spend my weekends hitting movies and bars with buddies and helping my four-month-old to learn to stand wiping baby barf off my beat-ass jeans while i pray her first words are "fug the saints." i do best man poo in weddings and scroll the huddle on my phone during boring-ass bullshit baby showers my wife drags me to. i bounce off to foreign countries with some buddies every couple of months to climb mountains and bike across obscure hinterland and learn new languages and broaden my understanding of humanity and try to finally finish that friggin book. i drive a goddamn rattletrap volvo station wagon with a homer simpson sticker on the window that nixon probably rode in as a kid that wouldn't get me fifty bucks in an auction but i pack that motherfuger full of my buddies and go buy pizza and beer and sit around and watch football and yell at captain munnerlyn and drink tequila because it's hispanic awareness month and ron rivera needs all the mojo he can get. and every sweet once in a while my kid goes to sleep and stays asleep and i'm not tired and my wife's not pumping breast milk and watching dumb tv shows and i get some poon.

 

 

meanwhile you get sneakers in the mail and take pictures of your stomach and post it on opposing team's forums and let the two events compete for the highlight of your month.

 

gtfo

 

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I guarantee I can at least double what Borat or PhillyB an can leg press.

No poo! Your legs carry much more weight on a daily basis.

And I'm LOLing at the thought of your first day at crossfit (usually you do a workout called Fran as part of your fundamentals) and your pasty fat rolls hanging off the pull up bar. Just try not to warp the bar, ok?

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No poo! Your legs carry much more weight on a daily basis.

And I'm LOLing at the thought of your first day at crossfit (usually you do a workout called Fran as part of your fundamentals) and your pasty fat rolls hanging off the pull up bar. Just try not to warp the bar, ok?

He would die during the warmup and mobility drills lol
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oh man, look at this guy playing guitar on a cargo ship.  how lame!

 

here, look at these shoes that UPS delivered today.  the countertop they're sitting on is made from meteorites and pope bones and is very expensive i might add.

 

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He would die during the warmup and mobility drills lol

I remember we once had to grind a lacrosse ball into our pecs to loosen them up for mobility. Alice would lose it in a roll of fat.

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It's seems to be pretty successful with Payton and the team so far. I passed by to check it out last week and the people were really cool. It was a little cult like in their intensity too, which I definitely liked. I would have joined on the spot, but I want to raise my explosiveness beforehand, don't want to go in there and not keep up! I still don't understand what you knock is on it? I'll have to send you a pic when I join too if you think it's for "masculine issue females".

 

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has Alice ever not been thoroughly stomped in a match of any kind, be it a battle of wits, of physical prowess, or fisticuffs? save for food I suspect not

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I remember we once had to grind a lacrosse ball into our pecs to loosen them up for mobility. Alice would lose it in a roll of fat.

Or eat the ball.

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Why is everyone so obsessed with my weight? Are y'all wanting to ask me out on a date or something? In case you haven't followed in the workout warriors thread, you would already know I'm back down to 223 and falling. Here is where I was 2 weeks ago. I guarantee I can at least double what Borat or PhillyB an can leg press.

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Lol when you're trying to argue weightlifting prowess on the Internet, you've already lost.

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lol he's a single male living alone and he owns candles

 

lo-fuging-l

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lol he's a single male living alone and he owns candles

lo-fuging-l

A couple of those and some Sinatra helps get Bentley in the mood.
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I haven't been caught up with the whole Alice saga since Phillyb exposed him for the first time. What madness have I missed? Give me a highlight reel.

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