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Big A

Panthers suck

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4-0

4 = Total number of dates Dat Alice has had in his life

0 = Number of times he's touched vagina

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4 - number of dicks alice likes to play with at once

 

0 - number of vajay jays he insists are in the room at any given time

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4 = Square footage of Alice's lawn

0 = Number of women other than his maid that have seen his stupid blue dog painting and pink bedazzled high tops.

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4 = The number of mini Snickers bars Alice uses to entice the neighborhood boys into entering his house.

0 = Number of page visits to Alicejandra Lastra's match.com listing

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4 = Ounces of peanut butter Alice applies to balls so his dog can lick long time

0 = Amount of peanut butter left on balls before he tells Mr. Bigglesworth to stop licking.

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4 = the number of times Alice has chickened out off killing himself in the past month

 

0 = the number of people that called him just to see what was going on and how he was doing in the same span of time

 

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4 = number of dog balls currently in Alice's face

 

0 = number of human breasts that have ever been in Alice's face

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