I hereby call on every fan who clicks on this thread to pie SCP.
Why you ask? Two reasons...
1. This sentence, "Also, I am a bit jealous of St. Louis because if I lived there, every morning I would walk down to the Mississippi river, grab a tree branch, dangle my ass over the edge,and take a poop just for the satisfaction of knowing that my turd would float down stream and end up diluted in the New Orleans drinking water system."
2. I live in Cape Girardeau Mo... about 300 yards from the Mighty Mississippi herself. I am at this very moment finishing off the brisket & baked beans I had left over, & drinking a 6 pack of Guinness while picking out a tree branch from my balcony.