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Ann Coulter hates soccer

26 June 2014 - 05:37 PM

Mann Coulter err...Ann Coulter has a strong dislike for the most popular sport in the world.


Link: http://www.anncoulte....html#read_more



I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade -- or about the length of the average soccer game -- so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay. 

(1) Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls -- all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks. 

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms." 

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep. 

(2) Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level. 

(3) No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored. 

Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties -- and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you. 

(4) The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game -- and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box. 

(5) You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them! 

(6) I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating. 

I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is. 

(7) It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it. 

(8) Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine. 

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles. 

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters? 

(9) Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear -- again -- about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States." 

The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.) 

Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers. 

Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared. 

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time. 



Stupid witch says "If more Americans are watching soccer...useless nonsense" (Italics mine).  And then goes on to say some dumb, xenophobic poo.  Statements like that are fuging hilarious because they are so stupid.  The "Americans" she is talking about that have a history of being football/soccer lovers have been giving their lives in droves for this country.  The average infantry company has a significant percentage of "Americans of foreign descent".  I know this, because I am one of those Americans she seems to hate.  Which is cool I guess because this mannish bitch was nowhere to be found when the poo was hitting the fan.  fug this dumb bitch and others like her.  Must really burn her female parts that foreign born men served this country doing poo that she could only dream, fantasize, glorify, and talk poo about on Faux News.  The end.

Landover Baptist Church Website

11 May 2014 - 11:15 AM

I was looking up random stuff on the internet and came across some interesting articles about the founder of Liberty University (the racist and now deceased turd known as Jerry Falwell).  I then found the most outstanding troll website ever made: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/?


There are hardcore Christians posting on that website that have no idea that the entire website was made to make fun of Southern Baptist hypocrite "Christians".  It's beautiful.  Masterful....on par with something created by Leonardo Da Vinci.  Just wanted to share.  It made me laugh my ass off. 

RG3 Allegedly Pulls a Brett Favre

20 July 2013 - 04:30 PM

A hot blonde hooters waitress claims Chief Bob Three Sticks sent her inappropriate pics (to include a pic of his penis) on his wedding day.  Not sure how reputable this is, but if this is true maybe the media will stop slurping him for a couple of minutes.   Thank God Cam is not putting up a front; wouldn't care if he did this because he isn't praising "The Great Sky Spirit" every chance he gets.  Hopefully, all the chicks giving the Golden Calf of Bristol bj's while he was remaining a "virgin" will come out next.


Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III is probably hunkering down hard this weekend — even if he is still on his honeymoon in Europe — because his burgeoning endorsement empire could be in trouble.

Down-and-dirty sports gossip site BustedCoverage.com reports that a seductive-looking coed and former Hooters waitress named Meredith Barber is seeking to cash in on what she promises are “inappropriate” photos she received from Griffin.

Barber, a student at Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) and self-described Redskins supporter, asserts that Griffin, 23, sent her the allegedly scandalous images on July 6, his wedding day.

For the record, Barber was not the blushing bride. That honor went to Rebecca Liddicoat, Griffin’s girlfriend of many years.

BustedCoverage claims that Barber contacted the website this week to chat about a previous story at the site and to discuss the possibility of selling the titillating photos.

Negotiations followed, apparently, but there was no deal. According to Fox News, the nut of the problem was that BustedCoverage was prepared to pay a measly $500 for every image except one particularly revealing pic showing Griffin’s penis.

For purposes of negotiation, presumably, Barber sent BustedCoverage a photo of a man shirtless male. The male’s head was concealed. Barber told the website’s editor, Joe Kinsey, that she would give his site exclusive rights to a bunch of images and her story provided that he would not reveal her identity.

So that’s pretty much out, obviously.

The young star quarterback has substantial endorsement deals with Gatorade, Adidas and Subway among many other companies.





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