I've been reflecting on the growing number and brazenness of assholes. And it's occurred to me that the reason there are more assholes is because, in all honesty, it's awesome to be an asshole! Think about it:
You see a long line of traffic in an exit lane for an exit you want to take. What do you do? All the honest schmucks are in line, waiting for 10 minutes to take the exit. But, shoot! I can just drive up to the front of the line, cut in front of one of the other cars, like literally just sort of start turning into the lane, and force my way in, because what's the other guy gonna do? Hit me? No, he's gonna stop, I'm gonna get in, and I'm gonna skip the whole long line! Sure he might honk at me, but who cares? Big deal, you honked at me, but I still got what I wanted!
And that is representative of every asshole scenario. If we're being really honest, assholes are just taking advantage of something that pays off for them immediately in a very beneficial way, and then they suffer no consequences!
Time was, when a guy was an asshole, you just punched him in the face. So a guy knew, "if I act like an asshole, I might get punched in the face." It was a disincentive to asshole behavior. But we live in a different era now. We live in a time of, "Both students in a schoolyard fight get suspended, regardless of who was the aggressor," "Honey, just leave him alone. He probably has a gun," and "I'm recording this. If you hit me, I'll sue you!" So we live in the golden age for assholes. Lots of shortcuts and no consequences.
In a purely biological sense, we should all be assholes. In what scenario that exists in nature would an animal not do something that is beneficial and has no consequence? The only benefit of being honest, and restraining yourself from snatching the low-hanging fruit is you get to have the knowledge and self-satisfaction that you are doing something the honest way. Frankly, the honest people are idiots.
But of course, we can't all be assholes. And we shouldn't allow people to be assholes. Because if we let assholes get away with the justifiable acts of assholeism, like skipping a long line of traffic at an exit, it just emboldens them to take more and more liberties.
So here is my plan: I am making it my personal crusade to make it as difficult and unpleasant as possible to be an asshole.
What we need to do is make it as difficult as possible for assholes to be assholes, and call them out on being assholes. I believe if we make it harder to be an asshole, for example, using the exit lane scenario, by not allowing lane cutters in, then the short cut they can enjoy with ease now will be more difficult and more stressful. And eventually they might need to second guess which is more annoying; waiting in line, or trying to squeeze in to a lane of traffic up ahead when no one will let you in.
If we disincentivize the behavior, diminish the rewards they enjoy, and increase the consequences and negative feedback, they should be less prone to asshole behavior. It's simple psychology, really. If it works on dogs, it should work on assholes.
So I'm inviting you all to join me on this campaign for a more humble and selfless society. Any takers?