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Member Since 25 Nov 2008
Offline Last Active Yesterday, 10:57 PM

#2912150 Home Opener

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 09:25 PM

Off topic but I just busted a guy taking a mirror selfie in the gym locker room. fuging lmao

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2912112 Home Opener

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 08:48 PM

Do you even tailgate bro?

Sent from my iPhone using CarolinaHuddle

RoaringRiot, I smell a t-shirt opportunity for your tailgates.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2911791 Bucs week - Yo ho ho it’s a pirates life for me

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 02:33 PM

Did you know that a giraffe's neck has the same number of neck vertebrae as humans?

Mike Glennon when behind center

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2911500 Bucs week - Yo ho ho it’s a pirates life for me

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 10:55 AM

Someone jumped the gun.

I can't take the preseason anymore.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2911492 Bucs week - Yo ho ho it’s a pirates life for me

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 10:48 AM

Ok fellow jackasses, its here. To hell with the Steelers preseason game. I'm tired of waiting and I'm ready to see some real football. Bucs week starts today damnit, the 2014 NFL season is upon us. Color me SHOCKED that our Panthers are projected to regress and suck again. Meanwhile, every other team from the NFCS and NFCN and NFCW are projected to win the Super Bowl this year at the same time for the first eleven way split of the Lombardi trophy. At least that is the consensus if you read the endless articles that have been tirelessly copied and pasted over and over again by sports journalists. The narratives and regurgitated nonsense from this summer are full of more poop than a Golden Coral bathroom on Dale Mabry Dr. after an all you can eat meatloaf extravaganza.

Speaking of Dale Mabry Dr, our Panthers are heading south on a little trip to play the all-of-the-sudden unbeatable ass-pirates of Tampa Bay. And what’s worse than some lukewarm Golden Coral all-you-can-eat meatloaf coated in generic ketchup? Bucs fans. Grown men who wear fake beards and eye patches and gleefully chant “It’s a Bucs Life” while air brushing swashbuckling scars on each other’s asses to make their costumes more authentic. “Arrrrggggh! Don’t forget to make my beard look scraggly!” they squeal as they share a box of Franzia wine and paint each others faces. Well yo freaking ho, its 2014 and some Bluegreen Resort time share salesman and a roof cleaning expert dressing up as pirates on Sundays is neither intimidating nor tough. No matter how much you guys spend at the Dollar Store on eye patches and feather boas, your pirate shtick is more pansy than the Nissan Cube you rolled up to the tailgate in. I’m willing to bet that mini-turkey and humus sandwiches with the crust cut off is tailgate staple for most of the Jack Sparrow wanna-be’s. But hey, a new day has dawned in Tampa. The rednecks form Hillsborough and Polk counties have been rejuvenated and emboldened. They are waking up in their 1972 Shasta 1400 Campers and shaking off the rust from a 4 year hangover of Budweiser and horrible Bucs football. So Buc nation, the bandwagon cavalry is on the way to save the manhood of pirate clad Bucs fans.

As for the game on Sunday, we have all heard the storylines ad nauseam. Our o-line stinks. We have no receivers. We lost our midget cornerback. Jerry charges too much for bar-b-que and our huge scoreboards show too many ads. At least they put in escalators to help all the whining fat asses up to the 300 level and they don’t reverse them until after halftime so the wine and cheese assholes are at least stuck at the game until the 3rd quarter. I will continue to use the ramps (not really) and leave the 500 level escalators for the old people and the 425lb loser in the Roethlisberger jersey. On the flipside the Bucs are full of supermen with the greatest coach on earth. Well I read between the lines and see an under achieving coach leaning on a starting QB who in a 15 month span has played for the Arizona Cardinals, Detroit Lions, Oakland Raiders, Miami Dolphins, Carolina Panthers, Hartford Colonials, San Francisco 49ers and Chicago Bears. When under center, your back-up QB looks like an albino giraffe drinking water (google that poo if you need to see what that looks like). Your defense might be tough with Geraldine and the back end but we have the real Superman under center and a rookie guard that is going to truck Lavonte David so hard that Chris Simms spleen is going to have to seek counseling. My prediction is that our defensive front 7 will whip that Tampa o-line so bad that they will sit down to pee the rest of the season. It will be a defensive struggle but in the end there will be a caravan of Bucs fans with pirate face paint running down their collective faces, leaving Ray-J stadium in their PT Cruisers, Nissan Cubes, Scion xBs, and Kia Sedonas. The Lovie Era will begin like the Schianno Era ended.

Panthers 17
Bucs 10

#2911418 Poll of NFL players: Raiders, Bills, Browns the least desirable teams

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 10:10 AM

This list isn't exactly scientific. You can say it's all about winning for a team like Jacksonville and Buffalo and Cleveland. But, what about Green Bay, what about many of the other teams?

It kind of sucks being the only NY team. In NY you have high as hell taxes. Jacksonville you have no taxes. But, Jacksonville is still in Florida.

Don't forget, the only nightlife in Buffalo is an Applebee's and the chicks look like Waffle House short-order cooks. You also have the rusted out abandoned buildings on the west side of town and the only car dealerships sell used Buick LeSabers and rusted out El Caminos. However, you can find a nice set of used tires to put on your rust bucket on almost any corner and gas is $8 per gallon.

But hey the summers are great!

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2911403 Home Opener

Posted by SCP on Yesterday, 10:02 AM

At my tailgate we will be playing a game called "Spot an Employed Detroit Lions Fan". The winner gets to motor boat me before heading into the stadium.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2910537 Well it's almost unanimous, Panthers will "free fall"

Posted by SCP on 26 August 2014 - 03:19 PM


@95KeepPounding: @PriscoCBS @CBSSports I hope the @Panthers stick these "free fall" predictions right up you & your colleagues asses. Just my humble opinion.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2910244 Let the ridiculousness....begin!

Posted by SCP on 26 August 2014 - 12:34 PM

It could have been Gaydosh. That dude can do it all. Allegedly.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2910238 Former Panther legend running for head of NFLPA

Posted by SCP on 26 August 2014 - 12:33 PM

Well he has a few good points

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2910122 Green Bay to offer some interesting new menu items this year...

Posted by SCP on 26 August 2014 - 11:35 AM

Green Bay is the land of elastic waistband mom jeans and chicks with pit stains. Wisconsin is changing the state nickname from "America's Dairyland" to "Murica's Diabeetus-Land"

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2909541 Green Bay to offer some interesting new menu items this year...

Posted by SCP on 25 August 2014 - 08:45 PM

That's two separate dishes you mentally challenged nincompoop. Its a hot doughnut ice cream sandwich as one item and an 11 inch sausage ( the horse collar) as another completely different item.

In Alice's defense when he saw "11 inch sausage" he probably got all worked up and excited and lost his train of thought.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2909003 Today's practice tweets

Posted by SCP on 25 August 2014 - 02:32 PM

Man I hope Trai Turner can get some reps Thursday night. He's going to face Gerald McCoy week one.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2908991 Fixin to talk Panthers on WFNZ

Posted by SCP on 25 August 2014 - 02:20 PM

Now don't go judging me, my Toyota prius gets 47 mpg. As a sales rep I can't afford to drive a truck and get less than 20mpg.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using CarolinaHuddle mobile app

You can afford it.......

.........just need to sell more.


Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

#2908615 Bucs looking at Incognito, traded for Mankins

Posted by SCP on 25 August 2014 - 10:37 AM

funny how character issues are overlooked when the guy plays a position of need.

Matt Ryan wears braided belts.

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