just like any person, esp. a kid (which an old fart like me considers a person in their early 20's because i remember how much growing up i and others had to do at that age) who makes a poo ton of mistakes, i hope that they grow out of it.
he (or the guy helping him write this) said all the right things and answered a lot of criticisms i had while reading it.
but i am left with two things...either he's an addict or he's dumb. i'm hoping he's just dumb. but i kept thinking this while i was reading, "i don't have a problem. i'm not an addict." those words are said more by people who actually are addicts than by those who aren't.
i do feel that if he legitmately doesn't have a problem that he has every right to defend himself. the problem he has is that he created this image that people have of him. it's his fault that people think he's got drinking or drug problems. it's not anyone else's fault. it's his and he has to own it. he is the one who put himself or allowed himself to be in situations where pot was being smoked. he is the one who drank on a plane knowing that he had agreed to stay away from it and that he could be tested at any time. he was the one who got the DUI. he was the one making mistakes and who keeps making mistakes. the burden on him is to prove that those were just isolated events and that he can control it.
i have worked with many youth and young adults who are/were trying to change their lives and also the perception that people had of them. one of the frustrating things that they all felt was that even if they had turned their lives around, people weren't buying it. you might think that's everyone else's problem, but the reality is that it isn't. you can't blame people for looking at someone who has a long history of doing dumb things and probably lying about it or making excuses and thinking that it's only a matter of time before they screw up again because, and this is the sad thing, it usually is.
what i have told people trying to change is that you can't expect people to believe you. "then what do i do to change their minds?" my answer was usually, "nothing. but you can't worry about that. all you have to worry about is yourself and making sure you get and stay clean."
i had a couple people ask me what they could do to prove that they were changed and that they didn't have a problem they couldn't control and i told them i will believe it when i don't see it happen. i got some confused looks when i said that and one girl asked me how long it will take and i said as long as it has to for me (or others) to forget there was a problem. it's something that is going to have to take a long time to work. people remember the bad more than the good. that's why i said they can't worry about that. it's beyond their control and it's something that their own personal bad decisions made happen so they have to deal with the "fruits" of their past heading into tomorrow.
all they can control is what they do and let everything else take care of itself in it's own time and always remember that the problem of perception that they have is their own fault and if they have to, use that as motivation for deciding what situations to put yourself in or actions you take. whatever it takes to help you get and keep control of your life will be worth it.