The NFL turf won't be any greener in Week 5

[Zod]

The theme of the week is be careful what you wish for.In football language, that means the turf isn't always greener on the other side of the depth chart.Take, for example, the Chicago Bears, whose fans have been bellowing for the benching of quarterback Rex Grossman. They got it last week, and Brian Griese delivered three interceptions while the defense disappeared quicker than Shania Twain.Out in San Diego, the Chargers just had to get rid of Marty Schottenheimer after the team's one-and-out playoff appearance. Never mind that 14-2 record in the regular season.So they brought in Norv Turner, who will solve the playoff problem by missing them altogether -- if he keeps his job that long.Then there's that klatch of fans around here that thinks Jake Delhomme is responsible for every bad thing that happens, even the drought. They got Chris Weinke last year and David Carr last week. Any more questions?Maybe Week 5 will provide the answers: CAROLINA AT NEW ORLEANS: After the great work filmmaker Spike Lee did on his documentary about the Katrina disaster, he could be in line to produce the Panthers' season video if something doesn't change in a hurry. Saints 32, Panthers 17. MIAMI AT HOUSTON: Who knew Dolphins could drown? Texans 27, Dolphins 12.ATLANTA AT TENNESSEE: Vince Young might be on his way to becoming what Michael Vick never quite became. Titans 24, Falcons 21.DETROIT AT WASHINGTON: If you're into trends, consider this -- the Lions are 0-20 lifetime in D.C. Who's game-planning for them, Ralph Nader? Redskins 28, Lions 20.N.Y. JETS AT N.Y. GIANTS: Another battle for the Rudy Giuliani trophy. Giants 24, Jets 10.SEATTLE AT PITTSBURGH: Ben Roethlisberger took the blame for the Steelers' loss Sunday at Arizona. Wonder who'll take the blame for this one? Seahawks 27, Steelers 16. ARIZONA AT ST. LOUIS: Britney Spears isn't the only one who has apparently lost her kids. Rams coach Scott Linehan appears to have done the same thing. Cardinals 30, Rams 20. CLEVELAND AT NEW ENGLAND: Four down, 15 to go to perfection for Tom Brady and the boys. Here's another one. Patriots 42, Browns 17. JACKSONVILLE AT KANSAS CITY: Time out. I know this has nothing to do with this game, but then, does anyone really care what happens in Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday?Wouldn't it be funny if when Duke goes to Notre Dame on Nov. 17 the Blue Devils were favored? They might be today. Anyway, back to the business at hand. Chiefs 24, Jags 21. TAMPA BAY AT INDIANAPOLIS: For those of you who like to plan ahead, the Colts play the Patriots on Nov. 4. Until then: Colts 29, Bucs 13. BALTIMORE AT SAN FRANCISCO: The 49ers rank last in the league in passing yards and total yards and now Trent Dilfer is their quarterback. And you thought you were having a tough week. Ravens 23, 49ers 17. SAN DIEGO AT DENVER: Three shaky investments right now:1. New York Mets postseason merchandise.2. The Dennis Kucinich campaign fund.3. LaDainian Tomlinson as the No. 1 pick in your fantasy league.Broncos 32, Chargers 28. CHICAGO AT GREEN BAY: Brett Favre forever. Packers 27, Bears 17.DALLAS AT BUFFALO: Not to diminish the Cowboys' 4-0 start -- well, maybe just a little -- but they've beaten more stiffs than Larry Holmes in his prime. As I was saying: Cowboys 34, Bills 21.Last week: 7-7Season: 40-21 IN MY OPINION RonGreen Jr.

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