haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa -

MonkeyButt · 09-07-2008, 08:46 PM

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

LifeisaGarden · 09-07-2008, 08:58 PM

I agree with all of them especially # 6.

murphman13 · 09-07-2008, 09:07 PM

Ladies, with all due respect, get your ARSES back over to the football forum and celebrate with us!!!

Scrumtrilescent · 09-07-2008, 09:11 PM

#6 and #7 are sorta conflicting, no?

MonkeyButt · 09-07-2008, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murphman13

Ladies, with all due respect, get your ARSES back over to the football forum and celebrate with us!!!

I know right!! Fricken awesome ending that was. I was worried!

LifeisaGarden · 09-07-2008, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scrumtrilescent

#6 and #7 are sorta conflicting, no?

Yes it is.
The daily thought reminds me of you though.

guigrrl · 09-07-2008, 10:39 PM

#2 FTW.
I already have my 3 year old practicing this procedure.
His future wife will thank me

PantherDude7311977 · 09-08-2008, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MonkeyButt

1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

I barely slice vegetables, since I'm terrible. Thankfully my mom does that. She probably get some cuts while I don't.

Quote:

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

Are you saying it a good idea for me to shit on the sink? Never thought of that. I'll shall give that a try.

Quote:

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.

Thankfully my blood pressure is normal. Whew!

Go To Girl · 09-08-2008, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeisaGarden

I agree with all of them especially # 6.

Cable ties are also added to that list in our household. And glue - my husband is also known as glueman.

Go To Girl · 09-08-2008, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by guigrrl

#2 FTW.
I already have my 3 year old practicing this procedure.
His future wife will thank me

Not only does my son and husband lift the lid, they also get some tissue to clean up any splashing on the rim. I never asked for or taught that - although my husband may have taught my son. I am appreciative of that.

LifeisaGarden · 09-08-2008, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Go To Girl

Cable ties are also added to that list in our household. And glue - my husband is also known as glueman.

I completely agree.

I love glue. The other week I was wearing my old work shoes while working in the yard. I started to walk up the steps and the toe of my shoe got caught on the steps and the sole ripped about 1/4 of the way off. There was no way I could throw away those shoes, they are like a part of my body since I have worn them for so long.(I am sure everyone has a pair of shoes like this.)
So anyway, I come in the house and heat up the glue gun (I have a fantastic super hi temp glue gun), and in less than 5 minutes I have a great new pair of old shoes. Boy do I love hot glue.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Velcro cable ties... Best invention EVAR!!!
Because they are adjustable. You ever use those GTG?

Go To Girl · 09-08-2008, 02:56 PM

Have a few velcro ones and also have some adjustable ones that have knobs at different increments that catch onto the clasp. I actually like those better than the velcro ones.

Hawk · 09-08-2008, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeisaGarden

I love glue.

been looking for a new sig....thanks!

LifeisaGarden · 09-08-2008, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hawk

been looking for a new sig....thanks!

Your Welcome.

09-07-2008, 08:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
MonkeyButt Worrywart Forum Legend Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: My "OH" face Age: 33 Posts: 13,433 Rep Power: 762	haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.

09-07-2008, 08:58 PM	#2 (permalink)
LifeisaGarden Premium Member Forum Legend Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Candy Heaven Age: 30 Posts: 5,162 Rep Power: 999	Re: haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa I agree with all of them especially # 6. __________________ Clicky, Clicky

09-07-2008, 09:07 PM	#3 (permalink)
murphman13 Joe Cool Forum Legend Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Oh, round bout here Age: 41 Posts: 9,899 Rep Power: 801	Re: haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa Ladies, with all due respect, get your ARSES back over to the football forum and celebrate with us!!! __________________

09-07-2008, 09:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
Scrumtrilescent Huddle Carrottop Forum Legend Join Date: Dec 1969 Location: The fine line between genius and insanity Age: 27 Posts: 21,920 Rep Power: 5000	Re: haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa #6 and #7 are sorta conflicting, no? __________________ Oh, good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble. --RIP Paul Newman

09-07-2008, 10:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
guigrrl Geaux Tigers! Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Be here now. Age: 36 Posts: 5,960 Rep Power: 878	Re: haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa #2 FTW. I already have my 3 year old practicing this procedure. His future wife will thank me

09-08-2008, 02:56 PM	#12 (permalink)
Go To Girl Premium Member Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: ... Age: 46 Posts: 25,317 Rep Power: 1429	Re: haaaaaaaaaaahahahahahaaa Have a few velcro ones and also have some adjustable ones that have knobs at different increments that catch onto the clasp. I actually like those better than the velcro ones.

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