The quote from Matthew is his response to the Pharisees interrogation regarding divorce. He’s not defining marriage as heterosexual, he’s saying that it takes two to make a marriage. The Old Testament and the New really, treats women as property. Jesus redefined them as actual partners/stakeholders in a marriage between two people. A marriage is supposed to be built on love between two people, not a business arrangement as it was in the OT. Not surprised that you would misinterpret that though.
Romans is not the words of Jesus. It’s the words of Paul, who never actually met Jesus. There are many scholars that postulate that Paul may have been a homosexual himself. Would explain the self loathing.