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Cowboys Week: Boycott List

SCP

By SCP,
in Carolina Panthers

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SCP

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I tweeted this out yesterday but I feel it’s important to share on several platforms. It’s officially Cowboys week for us. The Dallas Cowboys and their acid washed denim wearing inbred fans are like portapotty’s; you see them everywhere and they all wreak of turds marinating in blue chemical water and you only interact with them if you’re intestines are about to burst out of your brown eye. Without Cowboys fans, Wrangler jeans would’ve gone out of business 40 years ago. This is why I’m calling for an official boycott of all things that Cowboys fans love and cherish. For the next 9 days, I will boycott the following:

Walmart
Skoal
Kirkland brand clothing
Dollar General
Ford Aerostar’s
Faded Glory jorts
White cross trainers
Busch Light
Fanny packs
Golden Corral
Farmersonly dot com
Preparation H
LA Gear
Reebok Pumps
KOA campgrounds
Tube socks
Dial-up Internet 
Dirt roads
Mountain Dew
Great Value ketchup
Braided belts
Tighty white underwear
Interstate rest stops
Menthol
Cricket Wireless
Pornhub
Cheese puffs
Wings Beach Stores 
Beta Max videos
Corduroy 
Bass Pro Shops
Bel Biv Devoe
Jiffy Pop
White Snake
Kris Kross
Camcorders
Denny’s
Gas station showers
Atari 2600
Funyuns
Armour Potted Meat
Myrtle Beach
Huddle House
CPAP machines
Velvet paintings 
Diabetic socks
Malt-O-Meal Honey Nut Scooteers 
Jitterbug Flip phones 
Subway 
Diabetic socks 

Loves Truck Stops
Walmart scooters

 

A98631DD-559A-44C4-80DD-974C906249AA.jpeg

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2 minutes ago, Zod said:

Hey @SCP can I get a ruling on grey Hanes sweatshirts with the sleeves cut off of them? 

Acceptable but there is a caveat. If you pair the Hanes sweatshirt with pleated jean shorts that hang below your knee and a pair of black high top converse with tube socks pushed down and bunched up above your ankles, you’d be in violation of the boycott.

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1of10Charnatives

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Just now, jfra78 said:

I for one love our abominations of every culture's food

An old college gf of mine studied abroad in Italy for a year and to this day will not eat american pizza and claims all american pizza is crap. Fug that, you're just a pizza snob.  I eat a Crossandwhich any time I get the chance just because I know it has to piss the french off. I've had real honest to god authentic Chinese food and I can say two things with metaphysical certainty:

It is absolutely nothing like american chinese food.

I have no idea how China grew it's population to a billion people eating that poo. It made me want to kill children I don't have to save them from eating it and then commit suicide. It's that bad.

Vive la 'Murica!

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