Overzealous sports parents

[LinvilleGorge]

On 6/3/2022 at 3:10 PM, LinvilleGorge said:

Holy poo...

My sister in law has an 8 year old son. Her husband is trying to live vicariously through this kid. He was never the cool jock and he desperately wants this kid to be that. Everything revolves around this kid's baseball. He's homeschooled because school schedule was getting in the way of his baseball schedule. He does ninja training to improve his balance and core strength for baseball. He's on every travel team he can be on. He has ninja, baseball practice, baseball clinics, or baseball games everyday. He's on a specific baseball diet. Dad gets excited because the kid gets "invited" to all these clinics and travel teams with no realization that it's simply to get money out of them. Baseball, baseball, baseball. Everything else is an afterthought.

Meanwhile, the kid is ADHD as fug and an absolute brat because he gets everything he wants. I've watched dad repeatedly tell him this week "If you want to be a professional baseball player you have to..." while laughing off any and all of mom's efforts to correct behaviours.

The sad part is that the kid is a very average athlete. He's not one of the better players on any of his teams. They're really fuging this kid up. They're setting him up for abysmal disappointment. Well, it's dad but mom won't stand up to any of it even though she understands all of this. Once he gets to middle school and kids that didn't have this huge push from their parents actually start picking up sports in school and blow by him in a matter of months because they have real talent I'm afraid it's just going to be an absolute shock to him and dad is going to put it all on him for not working hard enough.

It's crazy to watch. Dad is controlling as fug and likely has undiagnosed Asperger's. Mom just folds and goes along with everything because she's too busy being the primary bread winner and isn't willing to deal with dad's bullshit. It's wild to watch and just sad.

Anyway... basically just venting.

Well, poo. Unfortunately it's all happening. The kid is 12 now and in middle school and they're still ALL IN on this baseball stuff. They're really encouraged because some of his teammates are being invited to national level teams, etc. Yeah, some of his teammates. Not him. They finally put the kid in a quasi-school that's a hybrid type thing where he goes to school a couple of days a week and the rest is virtual/home school. He's struggling terribly so they're talking about pulling him out. The family has talked to them over and over about how this prioritization of baseball has to stop and they have to start actually prepping this kid to succeed in life. Being a professional athlete is a long shot even for an elite athlete and your kid just doesn't have the genetics and you're fuging him up in life with these backassward priorities.

[Moose Hoover]

I grew up in a baseball family. Wasn't allowed to play golf for fear that it would mess with my swing. I haven't even thrown a baseball in 5 years...meanwhile I can only imagine how good I would be if I started golf back then...golf and tennis and scholastic bowl and band is the way to go.

[Super Grateful]

youth baseball is insane. there are so many levels to it, and I think a lot of parents think their kid can go pro because when you look at a lot of pro baseball players - they're not exactly freaks of nature. A lot of shorter guys out there, some fat even. Yes there are anomalies like Judge, but for the most part it isn't like the NFL or NBA where you have to be huge and fast. Also, you can make a pretty good living and not get any major injuries. 

Hopefully the kid is having fun and making memories / friends, because at the end of the day - that is all it's really about. If he loves the game, he will always be around it in some capacity. If he does not truly love it, he could grow to hate the game and even his parents.

I coach my 6 year old sons flag football team and have for a few seasons now. I can already tell he is not the next Christian McCaffrey lol. He seems to be having a good time though and gets better every season. Some of the kids on my team though are hardcore. One of them is in that parkour / ninja thing you mentioned. He's their only son and you can tell they're all in. He's super fast and agile though, so best of luck to him. I grew up playing sports extensively at almost every level and watching my kids play sports / coaching them is the best. I am very conscious that they are not going pro though, I don't want to scare them away or overwhelm them, I just want them to have fun, make friends, make memories, maybe earn some accolades / trophies to show what hard work can get you, etc.

Side rant about the schooling thing, obviously a lot of kids homeschool for various reasons. It's really big out here in Southern California. If you are in a position where you can homeschool your kids, power to ya. I know your kids will love it a lot more than regular school. Yes, they may be a little different in some ways, but they'll still get an education. Public school is like a preview for life. It's a free for all with all different walks of life and everyone is just trying to make it through. To me, it is a glorified daycare. I barely scraped through school and hated it. Most of the successful people I know in my life weren't great students and the ones that were don't even use their degrees for their line of work.