Divorce Question

[Panthers_Lover]

Property\debt has already been settled. My son is 10 and we have joint custody (week with me, then a week with her). I don't have to worry about people getting in her head because she doesn't have a leg to stand on to "get" me in court. If anything, I could burn her, get full custody of our son, and all of the property (and she knows this). However, I am not a spiteful person, she is a great mom, and I feel we are both equally needed in raising our son, just not together.

Has the custody issue already been signed off on by a judge? You should have legal papers spelling out the joint custody and who pays what, how major decisions are made, etc. Down the road, they could be contentious issues and that's not when you want to be trying to work out legal issues.

In SC, when I was divorced, the state didn't officially recognize joint custody, but the judge signed off on our agreement -- two weeks on, two weeks off. He still paid some child support because he was making twice as much money as I was, and I was responsible for most of the outlay (purchasing clothing, school supplies, etc.). We also spelled out that we would split medical expenses not covered by insurance (and he was required to carry the insurance coverage). You also need to be sure you're covered with regards to moving -- we had a clause that if one of us moved farther than 100 miles (or something like that) from our home city, that the other would be granted full physical custody in terms of where the children lived. That way, there's not a fight over pulling kids out of schools, away from friends, etc.

Lots of things to think about. You may have already done all of this. Just a word to the wise.

BTW - their dad wanted the one week on, one week off schedule, but I felt it would be too disruptive for the kids ... just when they got settled in one place, they'd have to pack up and move again. He finally agreed, and it worked out very well. (Our agreement also spelled out holidays, vacations, etc.) We were very flexible with each other, but not everyone is able to do that, so that's why it's good to get it all in legal writing.

My kids (now 26 and 29) have thanked both of us for how we handled it all.