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Pedestrian Etiquette 101 with Professor R. Bull

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#1 frash.exe


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Posted 08 October 2009 - 09:09 PM


When you live in the inner city like I do, you meet a lot of pedestrians who were never taught how to cross a street in their life. You see, these simple minded zilches can only understand simple minded concepts, and long after they’ve forgotten what they learned in grade school about crossing (look left, look right, then left again, and, if it’s all clear, cross), they adopt a more widely accepted philosophy of crossing the street (pedestrians have the right of way)

This blank statement, however, is cryptic and doesn’t explain how you should properly handle certain crossing situations. So, let’s elucidate this more clearly to the average dummy. Of course they will have some questions to ask when confronted with this less accepted yet more accurate concept.


This is correct for uncontrolled intersections, AKA intersections with no red lights but rather a stop sign one way. Once a pedestrian sets his/her foot in a crosswalk in an uncontrolled intersection, the driver must stop or risk being pulled over by a cop hiding in the bushes. However, in controlled intersections, AKA intersections with traffic signals, pedestrians should only cross when they see a green signal on the street parallel to their crossing. Some intersections make it even easier for you and put up a blinking sign that either says “WALK” or “DON’T WALK” and the two signals even have different colors so your stupid head can figure it out. Pedestrians should never cross when the sign says “DON’T WALK” or if there isn’t a pedestrian signal, follow the traffic signal, again, on the street parallel to the path you’re crossing, and if the light’s red, DO NOT CROSS. You can look up the North Carolina driver’s manual for confirmation. The NJ driver’s manual also alludes to it, although a little less clearly.


Yes it is true. Most pedestrians are convinced that there’s an invisible shield surrounding them that makes cars automatically slow down when they get in proximity. That they’re untouchable and no matter where they come from or where they try to dart out, the driver will always see them in time and never hit them, and if they do, it’s their fault for not seeing you jump out from behind a parked car at the last minute, and you can sue them for millions and millions of dollars and get paid. This is not true. The New Jersey Driver’s Manual clearly states that crossing the street is a shared responsibility between the driver and pedestrian. There is no single cause of an accident involving a pedestrian. If you think you are untouchable, and you can neglect observing the rules because you think “pedestrians have the right of way” covers all and any situations, then go ahead and risk looking like the vehicular manslaughter victims in some of the pictures in the horrors section of 4gifs.com.


NO, BITCH, it’s not. Have you been paying attention? Do you want to be flattened with a rolling wheel like a pressed penny? Do you understand it is a shared responsibility to keep pedestrians safe, and not one completely loaded on the driver?

Below is a common example of pedestrian negligence I’m sure everybody has encountered at least once in their lives because I have, many times, and I’m one of the youngest people on this board. Oh, btw, the thin orange lines protruding from the vehicle and the pedestrian designate their field of view.


You see, as a driver, people put the burden on you to make all the effort yourself in order to avoid an accident. This is true for any kind of driving situation, dealing with people in other cars, buses, bikes, you name it. When considering pedestrians however, this is a classic situation. I was actually generous to the pedestrians for noting the signals, because often I see people walk into the street staring at their shoes.

More lessons to come.

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Edited by Raging Bull, 08 October 2009 - 09:12 PM.

#2 frash.exe


    Freddy Frashbear

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Posted 08 October 2009 - 11:06 PM


As a driver there is nothing more frustrating other than highway bottleneck traffic jams than turning down a street and finding one, or more people walking down the street. Notice I didn't say across, I said down, meaning, their path is parallel to the street they're walking on. It blocks your path and they don't belong there in the first place. There is almost always a vacant sidewalk not being occupied by pedestrians on either side of them, so why the fug would they be walking there.

When it's more than one person it's usually some fat ghetto hood rat in her early 20s and her mediocre children. Her C-section scar is usually visible because she can't find a shirt that can cover her fat gut and she's usually wearing those ugly crocs shoes. They usually walk in the direction of a local supermart to use her wic card to buy pampers and cheetos, and an US magazine.


Why, why, why do they insist on getting in my fuging way for no reason? It's Jaywalking in it's most blatant form. It's illegal, and if you do it, don't damn me when I throw a bottle of arsenic in your face.

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#3 Captroop


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Posted 09 October 2009 - 09:36 AM

It's funny that these rules are needed in NC. In D.C. we have one rule:

"I live in D.C. and drive while texting. Avoid the front end of my car or your ass is getting run the f*** over."

The onus is on the pedestrian to learn and obey this rule.

Of course the problem in D.C. isn't the pedestrians, it's the people riding bikes. The pedestrians have learned the one rule and stay on the sidewalk. Bikers on the other hand, are completely oblivious to any rules of the road. They'll just cruise through intersections, weave in and out of traffic. It's getting to the point where people on bikes are the deer of the Nation's Capital.

"Aw, dammit! I hit one. Jeez, it was just right in the middle of the road! Why didn't it move? LOOK AT MY FENDER!!! And I got spandex stuck in my grill now. Aw jeez, this is gonna cost a fortune. And the closest Jag-yew-arr dealership is in Fairfax. Pain in the ass... Well, it's hurt. Marge! Get the gun out of the trunk. I night to put this poor thing out of its suffering."

#4 cookinwithgas


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Posted 09 October 2009 - 09:41 AM

You can find anything on the internet

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#5 Fireball77


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Posted 09 October 2009 - 09:42 AM

Most of this I believe is just people thinking they are the shiznit and no one on EARTH could POSSIBLY be more important than THEIRS TRULY and what THEY WANT...NOW DAMNIT. Texting drivers, idiot pedestrians, stupid teenage morons in jacked up SUVs blasting rap music and almost running me over when I was in a crosswalk in a parking lot and I did have the right of way (happened to me 3 weeks ago), etc. etc. etc.
It's the same type people who LEAVE EM EFFING SHOPPING CARTS IN THE EM EFFING PARKING LOT. Common courtesy is not common anymore.

#6 Scrumtrilescent


    I aim to misbehave.

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Posted 09 October 2009 - 09:44 AM


And you don't even live anywhere near the Booty Loop.

#7 Fireball77


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Posted 09 October 2009 - 09:48 AM

Oh man, I am assuming that is a local route where bicycles outnumber cars? ***Shudder****

#8 Purity-Control


    In A World Of Madness

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Posted 09 October 2009 - 01:07 PM

Most of this I believe is just people thinking they are the shiznit and no one on EARTH could POSSIBLY be more important than THEIRS TRULY and what THEY WANT...NOW DAMNIT.

Yeah I hear ya Bicycle riders are a huge problem in San Francisco, they usually ride in clusters 12 or more and they are EVERYWHERE and if your going straight and they want to go left they will get a few of them to hold up traffic so the rest can turn. They will go against traffic & blatantly cut you off, they ride around like they got a protective jeebus bubble.

They are the worst, worse then the staggering drunks on every corner coming up to your car knocking on the window asking for change, the mindless tourists stopping in the crosswalk to take a picture, or the out of town prick tourist in a rent a car who's lost going 10MPH.

And now with these dam horse drawn modern Rigshaws that are popping up.

Stay off my streets!!!!!

:driving: :mad: :cuss: :banghead:

Edited by Purity-Control, 09 October 2009 - 01:11 PM.

#9 mmmbeans



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Posted 09 October 2009 - 01:34 PM

as a bicycle rider i'm sorry you have such shitty N00b cyclicsts where you live.

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