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Member Since 14 Mar 2012
Last Active Apr 16 2012 06:39 PM

About Me

I am a dynamic personage, often seen scaling skyscrapers or jumping the grand canyon in a boxwood derby car.  When I whistle, birds alight upon my shoulder and whisper secrets of the universe into my ears.  I have knowledge that surpasses comprehension and I can communicate it telepathically, but only to aliens from the Orion galaxy.  I once ate two whole pancakes in one sitting.  I breathe carbon dioxide and exhale pure oxygen, like a tree, so you're welcome.  At night, when I sleep, I dream.  I have been known to entertain royalty with sleight-of-hand ukulele magic.  I was born in December, just like the baby Jesus, but I didn't like Sagittarius, so I applied to the intergalactic counsel for astronomical bamboozlement and successfully switched to Leo.  That's right, I'm a lion.  Badass.  If you disrespect me, I will force my lionesses to chase you down, rip your throat out, and then sit around and watch as I gorge upon your corpse.  Unless I choose to do something else, like papier mache crochet or full-contact origami, for which I have earned a 17th degree plaid belt.  If you want advice, ask.  I won't give any, but I like to be asked.

That is all.

Community Stats

  • Group HUDDLER
  • Active Posts 335
  • Profile Views 1,696
  • Member Title Don't Call Me Junior Member
  • Age 42 years old
  • Birthday December 12, 1972
  • Gender
    Male Male
  • Location


  • Favorite NFL Team
  • Favorite College Team
    Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes
  • What you should know
    According to Werner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, everything is relative. Your reality is not my reality, and neither of them is THE reality. Dig it.

11 Kinda Meh

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